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Husband, UGH!!

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:26 PM
  • 31 Replies

I nursed my oldest for 21 months before my husband (boyfriend at the time) asked me to stop, since the baby was getting too old to be doing that. He is a very smart kid, and was putting together 3-5 word sentences, and it made my husband uncomfortable. So we decided it was time to wean and put him into a toddler bed, and we did both at the same time. It went smoothly and perfectly...for him. Not for me, it was heartbreaking! So with the baby we have now, I want to nurse until at LEAST 2 years, and maybe even longer. I'm leaning toward self-weaning if its possible :) Anyways, on to the matter at hand.

My husband's Christmas party for his work was last night, and I didn't go. I stayed home because I couldn't bring the baby with me and it was right at the time he cluster feeds before bed. So I said no. He asked me when I am going to "finally" be done with "that" so we can go out together more. And I said I was planning on nursing until he is 2, maybe even 3. He said "No, you're not. That is way too long. Can you imagine nursing Kaden while he was that age? He was already in school by then." (which isn't entirely true.) So I explained to him that after 2, most kids just nurse for bedtime, basically just for comfort. It isn't a substantial part of their diet anymore or anything. And he came back with "Why not just let him keep his binky then?" WTF!! NO!! He doesn't get it.

My question is for the momma's who practice extended breastfeeding. How do you convince your DH?!

My name is Jonna. I am 19 years old, and a mother of two boys. They were born 10-31-07 and 8-26-11. I was 15 years old when I had my first. I breastfeed, I co-sleep, I circumcise. I married the love of my life and sons' father on 10-9-10, and just celebrated our one year anniversary. We own our own home, we own two cars, and we are not on PA. I love being a mommy, I love being a wife.
This is me.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
larissalarie
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this
I just do it...it wasn't up for debate! (ok if I'm being really honest, my sons severe dairy intolerance helped A LOT with not getting any flack)
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Pugsmuggler
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:57 PM
((Hugs)) my dh is just as crazy about breastfeeding as I am.
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fahmom
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:10 PM
My Hubby is all for bf but our son is only 8 mo and my Hubby is not yet completely on board with the extended bf. He too thinks its just wired to nurse a toddler especially if they can ask for it. I made it clear my goal is at least 2 years and to allow him to self wean. I also asked how he could ever stop us? He laughed and said I was right he wouldn't. He agrees he wants the best for our son but this is our first and its something I think hubby will just have to learn to live with. You might try educating on the benefits of extended bf.
mostlymaydays
by Group Admin - Stacy on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:14 PM
4 moms liked this
Mine, too. Dd is 28 months today. Just last night we were talking about how sad it is that so many dh's won't let their wives nurse past a certain age, or won't let them nurse in public. My dh is a very outspoken breastfeeding advocate. I stay quiet so I don't offend any mom who goes the formula route but he has no hesitation talkIng about latching and engorgement and cabbage leaves, nursing babies in bed.


Quoting Pugsmuggler:

((Hugs)) my dh is just as crazy about breastfeeding as I am.

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MaryJarrett
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:37 PM

My hubs is just now starting to ask questions when my oldest nurses. She doesn't bf often, just usually mornings, if she wakes up before her younger sister. She's 38.5 months. He doesn't mind if I bf her, its just that I said I didn't know if I wanted to go past 3 and now when he sees me bf her, he asks if I want him to distract her so that I can give it up. I think he thinks he's being helpful but I can't help but get kinda defensive with him sometimes. Its like if I didn't want to I would tell you when she asks, I wouldn't wait until she's already latched. She only nurses for a couple minutes at a time.

He is all about be bf'ing our kids otherwise though. He gets kinda rude when he finds that other people don't bf. lol He is a lactivist in his own way. He just wants to help and support any way he can. I would just go with the flow at this point, your DS2 is still very young, maybe DH will grow into it, so to speak. You should be very proud for making it to 21 months with your first, that's quite an accomplishment! :)

MrsAdorkable
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:41 PM

You don't discuss, you just do. It is your choice. & most mama's say DH doesn't even notice how old baby is

MzHuycke
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:41 PM

Thanks, everyone! I think I will probably just keep nursing him and not mention it until he realizes that, "omg, my wife is nursing our 2 year old, wth?!" haha. But I also want to talk with him about it, just so that he is supportive nad not disassociated ya know? He is very supportive of me breastfeeding...right now. Until he is 1, then its weaning time in his eyes :/

MumsTheWord571
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:43 PM
I just did. DH had no say in it.
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mostlymaydays
by Group Admin - Stacy on Dec. 3, 2011 at 4:02 PM
I've found it more effective to encourage others to do some research on their point of view instead of me handing over literature proving MY point. People are more willing to put their time into researching their own view. And almost always, the research will back YOUR point up. He's not going to find much valid research supporting why weaning at 1 would be better than nursing longer.
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gdiamante
by Gina on Dec. 3, 2011 at 4:43 PM


Quoting MzHuycke:

My question is for the momma's who practice extended breastfeeding. How do you convince your DH?!

Didn't have to. He didn't even REALIZE we were still nursing by that point. That said... I didn't skip anything, either. I think there's a compromise you can reach. Even in cluster feeding periods, it's OK to go out. Your supply WILL bounce back.


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