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Game Plan-much needed support & advice

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2012 at 4:02 AM
  • 5 Replies

My son is 10mos, I've had problems leaving him with anyone bc of bf. He never took a bottle, he does use a cup but refuses milk frm it. I made the mistake of letting him pacify on me, making it hard on others to comfort him. No one wants to babysit until he is weaned! I have a class coming up to get me prepared for work, I plan to somehow wean him off during the day because my pumping skills have plummeted and idk how id even get him to take the milk if its not on tap! I tried subtracting feedings one by one starting with mornings, didnt work well. So my new approach is green lighting night & morning feedings but a demand only during the day hopefully dimishing day feedings by the time my class starts, i dont anticipate a full wean of course im comfortable feeding for a little while longer. I just worry if solid foods during the day only with only 1 or 2 nursings will be nurishing enough. & to make naps a breeze & comforting w.o the breast! Thanks for letting me share & for any advice or support!

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2012 at 4:02 AM
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tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Feb. 16, 2012 at 8:00 AM

You can not day wean a 10 month told. over 75% of his diet MUST be breastmilk.  SUre you can reverse cycle once you go back to work and yuor LO can take little to no milk while you are away and nurse extra while together but you should NOT wean your LO when you are together.

Comfort nursing is NOT the problem.  The issue is he is not used to being away from you.  AT his age solids and other liquids are fine while you are away, it will take time for him to get used to you being gone and it will take patience from the caregiver.  SOunds like the caregiver you have tried using doesnt have patience.

He MUST have atleast 4-5 feedings a day til a year. 1-2 nursings is malnourishing and he would need formula.

Weaning will not make naps a breeze or comforting him any easier...thats a big myth.  YOur baby would still be upset you are gone when he snot used to it even if FF.

Angeldolphine
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2012 at 8:50 AM

I agree with Tabi. I also have an almost ten month old, who does the same thing as your baby. He refuses bottles and sippy cups and a pacifier. He also thinks he should nurse to sleep. He waits for me to get home and as for sleeping, either he fights it until I am there, or he passes out in my husband's arms.  I wouldn't wean him during the day, you risk serious malnutrition. I would try to pump so the caregiver can offer it to him while you are gone, but don't freak out if he won't take it. Most likely, he will wait till you are home and nurse, nurse, nurse or reverse cycle and nurse all night. If he nurses all night, you want to sleep with him in the bed or you won't sleep at all. Nap time WILL be rough for him. You may want to leave a shirt you wear or see if he will get attached to a stuffed animal or blanket. You can also begin to try to get him to nap without nursing. It will be rough, I am not going to lie.. You need a good caregiver who has a lot of patience and exsperience.

gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Feb. 16, 2012 at 11:34 AM

Welcome, Alyssa. Got some questions for you.

Quoting iamAlyssa:

My son is 10mos, I've had problems leaving him with anyone bc of bf. He never took a bottle, he does use a cup but refuses milk frm it.

Who's trying to give the cup? Are you in the vicinity? Usually mom's presence is the problem. Hand baby to caregiver, LEAVE. Really. The caregive has to fiond their own depth.

I made the mistake of letting him pacify on me,

That was not a mistake.

making it hard on others to comfort him.

That would have happened REGARDLESS. The only way for it not to have happened would have been for you to stick him in a crib and ignore him ALL the time..but that has it's own problems, right? **smile** He's normal and would be this way no matter how you fed. It's personality that determines this, NOT feeding.

No one wants to babysit until he is weaned!

Then they're a buncha wimps. Can't handle a crying baby? I wouldn't WANT anyone to babysit who couldn't manage that. I know that comes off harsh... it's an indictment of THEM, not you. You're going to need to find someone who has some cojones. **grin**

I have a class coming up to get me prepared for work, I plan to somehow wean him off during the day because my pumping skills have plummeted and idk how id even get him to take the milk if its not on tap!

If you're not present, he'll eat when hungry. Really! NO baby will starve himself. He may choose to wait till you're home. That's called reverse cycling and is normal.

I tried subtracting feedings one by one starting with mornings, didnt work well. So my new approach is green lighting night & morning feedings but a demand only during the day hopefully dimishing day feedings by the time my class starts, i dont anticipate a full wean of course im comfortable feeding for a little while longer. I just worry if solid foods during the day only with only 1 or 2 nursings will be nurishing enough.

No, they won't. Most of his diet needs to be breast milk or formula. Sorry, but the plan you've got is a path to inadequate nourishment. And you need to expect that baby will be an all night nurser.

& to make naps a breeze & comforting w.o the breast!

Heh heh... it's a wonderful thought... but for most babies doesn't happen that way! **grin** IF he's fighting naps, the nap in question may need to go. It'll encourage him to sleep more at night, though.

Thanks for letting me share & for any advice or support!

Hand baby to caregiver. LEAVE. The caregiver will figure it out.  No baby will starve himself. If he's truly hungry he'll eat. He may fuss and make the caregiver a bit miserable at first. That's OK.

eema.gray
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2012 at 11:48 AM

Instead of trying to wean, try to get him to associate comfort and "you" with something that can be left with baby and caregiver when you go to your class.  With my daughter, it was an old shirt of daddy's, that I would throw over my shoulder every time she nursed.  She quickly learned to associate the shirt with mommy and comfort and if someone else had the shirt, she would comfort with them just as easily as with me.  

Your son MUST get the bulk of his nutrition from either you or formula until he is a minimum of 12 months old.

comf
by on Feb. 16, 2012 at 11:51 AM
What G said! ^^^

he has to have formula if you are going to wean him

Edit. I'm a sahm and my son has only been watched by others maybe less than 20 times. He is a year old today.

When I am not around he is so good, and naps without nursing. Now if I am anywhere in the house he knows and will scream for me. I just drop him off at grandmas and he is an angel. and I know its not because she spoils him because she is more strict than I when it comes to sweets and stuff.
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