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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Advice for coping with anti-BFing mom

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My mother formula fed, and to give you a sense of her take on breast feeding, when I told her that was my intention she said, "It never occurred to me that you would do such a thing." (as though I'd just told her I'd knocked over a liquor store!)

I had a difficult HG pregnancy, and breast feeding my now 3 month old daughter has been an absolute joy, but mom continues to be anything from passive aggressive ("Oh, you're STILL breast feeding?") to antagonistic ("Don't you think it's time to start solids?" <--- heck no!!!!).

She isn't going to change what we're doing, but dealing with her attitude and comments every conversation is exhausting!! Any advice for shutting this down? I've tried being informative but she ices over or takes everything the wrong way. Maybe I just need encouragement.
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 10:26 PM
Replies (31-38):
JoyfulMommy1221
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 1:59 PM
Maybe she is saying those things because she feels you feel she is a bad mom for not bfing. I am glad you're going to stick to what you choose either way. Maybe you could try to tell her how it makes you feel when she says things contrary to what you choose.

*hug*
gsdlover
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Just tell her to shut her mouth.  She sounds a lot like my mom.  My mother's mother and I were discussing breastfeeding in front of her (Mammaw is very supportive although she had been told she 'couldn't make enough') and my mother said 'Breasts are for men to play with, not for babies to slobber on'  Mammaw said 'What do you think people did before the bottle??'  My mom said 'There has always been the bottle!'.  Yes.  She is that dumb.

CathlinS
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 7:38 PM

Eek!! (and a lol) Yeah, my husband and I agreed that my breasts are just on loan ;)

Quoting gsdlover:

Mammaw said 'What do you think people did before the bottle??'  My mom said 'There has always been the bottle!'.  Yes.  She is that dumb.


Daynaof3
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 7:43 PM
Tell her, "you do know that me breastfeeding isn't me saying what you did with me was bad right? Did you parent the exact same way your mother did? Does that mean you think less of your mother? NO and neither do I!" Sometimes they think that us doing things differently than them is a direct attack on them when it isn't. Other than that, avoid her if it continues, it will be sad but it will do one of two things and maybe both...ease your difficulties with her comments and/or wake her up to realize that she is causing a rift between you two.
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Gingerella
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 8:00 PM

I love it when people root for me to fail. It only makes me more resolute to do what I say and say what I do. But I'm an ornery old B like that. ;) I actually LIKE when the majority of people disagree with me. It makes me feel all ROCKSTAR and like I'm probably doing something RIGHT. ;)

CathlinS
by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep, I'm done (with my mother). Since baby is 4 months now she won't shutup about starting solids. This is completely about her, zero consideration of me, and I'm going to EBF the crap outta this. Yes "EBFing the crap outta this" is now something you can do. :P

shelley11709
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 3:05 PM
A lot of moms have issues if their kids choose to parent a different way than they did thinking its a judgement on how they brought you up. Maybe let her know that you don't have a problem with the choices she made in raising you but you are making decisions that are best for you and your child.
If she asks "are you STILL BFing?" just say yes and don't go into it anymore than that. If she asse why you haven't started solids keep the answer simple and short. Don't invite a conversation about it. Eventually she will give up if you don't allow it to turn to a conversation. If all else fails change the subject!
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jshalas89
by on May. 2, 2012 at 3:14 PM
Gosh all the stories of y'alls MILs...

I already have issues with mine and Jordan Jr. isn't even here yet! She better not EVER say anything to ME about how I raise my child. Y'all are far too nice and this mama don't play that! Now I'm worried how badly I'm going to need to sharpen my mama bear claws by July!
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