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Advice for coping with anti-BFing mom

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My mother formula fed, and to give you a sense of her take on breast feeding, when I told her that was my intention she said, "It never occurred to me that you would do such a thing." (as though I'd just told her I'd knocked over a liquor store!)

I had a difficult HG pregnancy, and breast feeding my now 3 month old daughter has been an absolute joy, but mom continues to be anything from passive aggressive ("Oh, you're STILL breast feeding?") to antagonistic ("Don't you think it's time to start solids?" <--- heck no!!!!).

She isn't going to change what we're doing, but dealing with her attitude and comments every conversation is exhausting!! Any advice for shutting this down? I've tried being informative but she ices over or takes everything the wrong way. Maybe I just need encouragement.
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 10:26 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 11:42 PM
My grandma is the same... I hate it. We are leaving to visit in 5 days and I'm so stressed. My Lo is only 3 months. Bfing is just one of her many beefs with my choices, though.
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by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 11:42 PM
Just tell her look mom this is my baby not your baby..... so please leave my decisions up to me. Just cuz u didn't breastfeed doesn't mean am going to have the same parenting choices as you.
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by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 11:47 PM
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Many years ago I was told, sanitize your nipples with rubbing alcohol before you feed. Feeding past 3 months is for your benefit, not the babys. Never lay down when you feed. Nursing a boy is too sexual, formula feed.

I just kept reminding myself, the species survived many a millenia without this BS and I could too.

by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 11:48 PM
I know once DS is a year I am going to hear from both of my parents that I should stop BFing. I plan on going until 2 if DS wants to. My plan is to tell them what WHO and AAP recommend and that it's my decision. It's what works for me and my family and while I appreciate their opinions and advice my mind is made up on this subject. I'm not looking forward to the conversation because I avoid confrontation as much as possible.

Good luck on getting your mom to back off!
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by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 12:35 AM
Thanks, everyone! So many good, strong words here - and yes, SAHM, she is weirdly competitive. I mean, she's my mom...why is she competing?!?
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 12:38 AM

Would you like to talk with her about it/inform her, or get her to be quiet altogether?

by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 12:40 AM

my mom was the same with DS and I know she will be the same with this one. I breastfed DS since day one and as much as I told her no, she sent me formula coupons and when visiting bought me formula from the store. I gave it all away. She wasnt encouraging at all. She also gave me a look of disgust when telling her my choice to cloth diaper. She is very "convenient/disposable" oriented which I find ironic since she calls herself "green". I'm happy your mom won't change your decision and sorry she continues being so negative! Hopefully she'll shut her mouth. Especially as one year approaches which is the "magic age to stop breastfeeding cold turkey" according to many people

by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 12:45 AM
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Ask her what the hell she thinks Women have boobs for.

Tell her you'll start feeding formula when she uses a catheter to urinate. (why mess with the natural flow of things unless there's a reason)

Tell her you're sick of hearing it.

Give her a pamphlet from LaLeche showing that in the US it's advised we nurse for 1 year, and globally they recommend 2 years.
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 1:05 AM
Quoting doulala:

Would you like to talk with her about it/inform her, or get her to be quiet altogether?

I've tried the informative angle, giving her the info, responding to negativity with information... So now I just want her to leave me alone! The negativity is exhausting! (even typing that I know I'd prefer if i could explain til she understood, but... Ugh!!)
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Id say this. "Mom my child and Im breastfeeding her whether you like it or not any snide.comments wont be tolerated." "Your problem doesnt need to be mine."
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