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Bad mum.

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:21 AM
  • 8 Replies

So my daughter was born 3 weeks early and had latching issues because i had flat nipples we only managed to give her small amounts of colostrum that we could squeeze out after she was born which the lactation consultant helped me with, a few hours later we tried again but she just wouldnt latch they took her blood sugar it was very very low so they gave me the option of formula. before i had her i was strictly going to breastfeed i hated formula i guess because i know so many people who dont even try to breastfeed and put their babies straight on formula, I was in tears because i didnt want her to have any at all but they told me because she was so tiny she didnt have much weight to loose they said it was completly my choice they werent forcing it on me to but she was getting sick so it was best that we did put her on it. i finally agreed to giving her formula, they also brought in a pump i was able to pump 5ml of colostrum every 3 hours for the first day she was born so we syringe fed her that then topped her up on formula, the second day i was only getting 1ml of colostrum, by the 4th day in hospital my milk was slowly coming in and we were giving her more breastmilk and less formula i was also given the nipple shield which she learnt to latch onto pretty quickly, they told us its best to have some formula in the cubboard just incase we needed it so we went and brought a tin on our way home from the hospital. i had some friends come over to see my baby on the day we got home and they were like oh so shes on formula? i said she was in hospital but now my milk is in so shes getting 100% breastmilk and they pretty much made me sound like i was a bad mum for giving my daughter formula telling me how bad formula is cause they dont digest it as easily as breastmilk. It broke my heart to not be able to feed my daughter after she was born i felt like an awful mum for not being able to have proper nipples for her to latch, we have however never used the tin of formula because we are now latching well and dont even need the nipple shield, it still pisses me off that people are so ignorant when it comes to formula i didnt have a choice my baby was getting sick from not getting enough and she was already sick, Formula for the right reasons is okay its not like i wasnt trying to feed her and put her straight on formula, does giving her formula really make me a bad mum? i think letting her get sicker would have been worse atleast she is now here 2 weeks later healthy and 100 % drinking from the breast.

Oh and her weight gain has been excelent! she only lost 60grams in hospital they were expecting 260gram loss,she was born 5 pound 14oz brought her home 5 pound 11 in a week she was 6 pound 3 and yesterday she was weighed again which was a week from the last weigh in and she was 7 pounds! 

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:21 AM
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Replies (1-8):
littleacorn
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:26 AM
Awwww. What a precious little darling! I want her! My tiniest lo will be 3 in July. :-(
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jeniemarie
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:32 AM
you did the best you could in the situation and never gave up and it paid off id tell others to stick it :-) good job mama
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jeniemarie
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:33 AM
oh and btw shes gorgous congrats
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JamieLyn822
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:44 AM
I think you absolutely did the right thing in your situation!
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sterling21
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:44 AM
Sorry your baby was born early, she is beautiful.
Not sure why your friends were a little disrespectfull towards you. She needed something to get her strong enough to nurse, that is why formula was made. Mabey they don't realize the longer a baby is hungry the less likely it will be able to nurse. Don't feel bad, in fact you should applaud yourself, your one of the few moms who use formula for its intended purpose, your friends might as well complain about someone with a broken leg using crutches.
tabi_cat1023
by Group Admin -Tabitha on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:17 AM

What you feed your child does NOT determine what kind of mom you are!! Even if you never once gave baby BM it doesnt mean you are a bad mom.

That being said, the blood sugar thing I can see being worrisome, but the weight...SIGH the hospital misled you.  Its normal and expected for baby to lose 10-12% of birthweight depending on type of delivery and IV fluids.  This is normal and expected, even of small babies.  Losing this weight would NOT hurt them.

Also by them making you give formula  so early it did change digestion, but EBFing for 3-4 weeks will get that good digestion back.

If the hospital was worth a darn they would've worked with you with how to nurse, told you to get some nipple SHELLS to wear between nursings and had you finger feed rather than bottles feed.

Most likely they had you overfeeding your LO since the newborns stomach is SOOOO tiny. It can hold 5-7ml at birth and only gradually increases as your milk increases.

You are not a bad mom, the hospital is a crappy hospital for BFing but you are not a bad mom.


mama02040608
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:22 AM
Everything Tabi said. You did what you felt was best given the info you had. They strongarmed you into giving formula, and for that, THEY should be ashamed. Your friends need to get a life.

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

What you feed your child does NOT determine what kind of mom you are!! Even if you never once gave baby BM it doesnt mean you are a bad mom.

That being said, the blood sugar thing I can see being worrisome, but the weight...SIGH the hospital misled you.  Its normal and expected for baby to lose 10-12% of birthweight depending on type of delivery and IV fluids.  This is normal and expected, even of small babies.  Losing this weight would NOT hurt them.

Also by them making you give formula  so early it did change digestion, but EBFing for 3-4 weeks will get that good digestion back.

If the hospital was worth a darn they would've worked with you with how to nurse, told you to get some nipple SHELLS to wear between nursings and had you finger feed rather than bottles feed.

Most likely they had you overfeeding your LO since the newborns stomach is SOOOO tiny. It can hold 5-7ml at birth and only gradually increases as your milk increases.

You are not a bad mom, the hospital is a crappy hospital for BFing but you are not a bad mom.


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gdiamante
by Gina on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:29 AM

The only bad mother is the one who beats her baby. That is an Offical Group Description.

You don't qualify for the title.

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