When baby was a week old we took her to the photographer for her first photo session, at J.C. Penny portrait studio. As we were about to go in I told him that the reason I wanted to go early was so I could nurse her right before and therefore she'd be calm and happy during the photos. He said, "You're not nursing in public. You can nurse in the bathroom or in the truck before we go in." So, since at that point she was still asleep in her car seat I didn't nurse her in the truck, but then as soon as we got to the studio she woke and wanted to be fed. I again argued that I should nurse her right there while we waited, and that I was going to cover with a blanket anyway. He still said he wasn't ok with it, so I had to go sit in a bathroom stall to nurse, which, by the way, was on the OPPOSITE side of the J.C.Penny, and I was still recovering from childbirth a week before. Then, as soon as I got back, baby decided she wasn't done nursing. At that point, dh said HE had to go to the bathroom, so I took the baby to the little kid's play area and nursed her some more. No one was in that area, so no one saw me.
When he came back, he couldn't even tell I was nursing, and he didn't object when he realized I was, because no one was around, but he still argues me out of it every time I want to n.i.p..We even had to resort to trying to give her one of those free sample bottles of formula from the hospital when we went out to eat one night.
Thankfully, she did not like the formula, but it intrigued her long enough that we were able to finish our meal. I was just glad she didn't eat more than a few drops of it, but my goal was for her never to know the taste of formula.
OP. do you have "task oriented" husband, the sort of person who wants to get in, get things done, and get out as quickly as possible? My husband is a lot like this and his initial objections to NIP were not about exposure; they were about not wanting to slow down or stop while baby nursed. Over the course of three babies, he has learned to slow down, enjoy life, do something silly with our big kid(s), and not push through while baby needs sto nurse.
First, I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.
Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him.
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue.
I would be more upset to have to use formula just because he doesn't want you to NIP. That sh** would not fly with me. When our DS was a newborn I nursed in the car when I could but because that's where I was most comfortable then. It took me several times NIP to be comfortable with it even with a cover. Until DH starts lactating the has no say in he matter.
Quoting mama02040608:
My DH doesn't "let" me do anything. He may have opinions and may vocalize them, but I do not need his ok to do most things aside from spending large amounts of money ;) There is no reason to not NIP unless you yourself are uncomfortable. DH doesn't count as the uncomfortable one. Just do it. Pop baby on and go about your business.
DH once asked me about nursing in bathroom stalls.
HIS opinion is that any man who tells his wife to nurse their baby in a bathroom stall should have his dinner served in the bathroom for a week!
Just do it. Yes, husbands/dads should get some say in these things b/c they are invested, too. But in the end, a BFing mother gets to make that call. It's YOUR breasts that will hurt or leak, it's YOU who will have to battle supply issues, deal with a fussy baby at the breast, and it's YOUR very personal and dear BFing relationship on the line.
For the life of me...I'm drawing a blank on "ERF."
Your DH sounds like mine. He's accepted that since I do the most with the kids, and I'm responsible and educate myself before making choices, that it is my domain. If he has a problem he needs to talk to me, but in public he'll stand by me 110%.
Quoting MaryJarrett:First, I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.
Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him.
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue.
Extended Rear Facing, car seat talk, sorry! Lol. We have a 3.5 yr old and a 2 yr old rear facing.
Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:For the life of me...I'm drawing a blank on "ERF."
Your DH sounds like mine. He's accepted that since I do the most with the kids, and I'm responsible and educate myself before making choices, that it is my domain. If he has a problem he needs to talk to me, but in public he'll stand by me 110%.
Quoting MaryJarrett:First, I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.
Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him.
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue.
I'm Mary married(since 10-5-08) to Dallen, mommy to Serenity(2008) & Caidence(2010). Christian, SAHM, Full- term breast feeding, Cloth diapering, Vaccinating, Anti-CIO/Sleep-training, Natural birthing, holistic loving, AP, ERF, Bedsharing/co-sleeping, research-loving kinda mama.
Extended Rear Facing
Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:For the life of me...I'm drawing a blank on "ERF."
Your DH sounds like mine. He's accepted that since I do the most with the kids, and I'm responsible and educate myself before making choices, that it is my domain. If he has a problem he needs to talk to me, but in public he'll stand by me 110%.
Quoting MaryJarrett:First, I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.
Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him.
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue.
Getting scared/excited... and I borrowed a breast pump!
- loisl25
on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:47 PM