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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

  When baby was a week old we took her to the photographer for her first photo session, at J.C. Penny portrait studio. As we were about to go in I told him that the reason I wanted to go early was so I could nurse her right before and therefore she'd be calm and happy during the photos. He said, "You're not nursing in public. You can nurse in the bathroom or in the truck before we go in." So, since at that point she was still asleep in her car seat I didn't nurse her in the truck, but then as soon as we got to the studio she woke and wanted to be fed. I again argued that I should nurse her right there while we waited, and that I was going to cover with a blanket anyway. He still said he wasn't ok with it, so I had to go sit in a bathroom stall to nurse, which, by the way, was on the OPPOSITE side of the J.C.Penny, and I was still recovering from childbirth a week before. Then, as soon as I got back, baby decided she wasn't done nursing. At that point, dh said HE had to go to the bathroom, so I took the baby to the little kid's play area and nursed her some more. No one was in that area, so no one saw me.

  When he came back, he couldn't even tell I was nursing, and he didn't object when he realized I was, because no one was around, but he still argues me out of it every time I want to n.i.p..We even had to resort to trying to give her one of those free sample bottles of formula from the hospital when we went out to eat one night.

  Thankfully, she did not like the formula, but it intrigued her long enough that we were able to finish our meal. I was just glad she didn't eat more than a few drops of it, but my goal was for her never to know the taste of formula.

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Replies (11-20):
07lilmama1108
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Ds is 3 months and dh still hates that i NIP. But he's never around when I'm out so it's not a huge issue! Nurse when baby is hungry, simple! Explain its so you can maintain supply so you don't have to buy formula! He's not feeding her, he can be a protective bear by spotting lookers ;) my dh is great at that!! Lol but if he says something to you, say "I'm more covered now than if i were wearing a bikini!" I also tell dh to chill and get a huff in response! Plus, a happy baby with a grumpy dad is common here and much better than a grumpy hungry baby and an even more pissed off dad ;) keep your ground, you knkw what you're doing.
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eema.gray
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:08 PM

OP. do you have "task oriented" husband, the sort of person who wants to get in, get things done, and get out as quickly as possible?  My husband is a lot like this and his initial objections to NIP were not about exposure; they were about not wanting to slow down or stop while baby nursed.  Over the course of three babies, he has learned to slow down, enjoy life,  do something silly with our big kid(s), and not push through while baby needs sto nurse.

MaryJarrett
by Mary on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

First,  I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.

Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him. 
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue. 
 

fahmom
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:11 PM
I would get pissed off at my DH. Hell I would NIP while we argued about it. I might be spiteful enough to do it uncovered. Lol Now that I think about it I have nursed without a cover just to piss off my DH. But it worked out because he realized even without a cover he couldn't see anything. My DH doesn't want me to NIP without a cover but I am most comfortable using a cover so it was an easy compromise. DH has come a long way. He couldn't see BF a toddler. Now our DS is 13 months he has defended bf past a year to several ohers who think its time to wean. When I jokingly said I made it a year I'm done I need my body back...he looked at me dumbfounded and said if I'm serious I better start pumping and give it to him in a cup.

I would be more upset to have to use formula just because he doesn't want you to NIP. That sh** would not fly with me. When our DS was a newborn I nursed in the car when I could but because that's where I was most comfortable then. It took me several times NIP to be comfortable with it even with a cover. Until DH starts lactating the has no say in he matter.
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sreichelt26
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:13 PM
Agreed.

Quoting mama02040608:

My DH doesn't "let" me do anything. He may have opinions and may vocalize them, but I do not need his ok to do most things aside from spending large amounts of money ;) There is no reason to not NIP unless you yourself are uncomfortable. DH doesn't count as the uncomfortable one. Just do it. Pop baby on and go about your business.
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Liz132
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:17 PM
2 moms liked this

 Thankfully it's not up to your Dh it's up to you, you're the one with the breasts. You do not need any one's permission to feed your child. If he has a problem seeing you feed your baby, I would sugest he could wait in the bathroom since he is the one with the issue not you.

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:20 PM
1 mom liked this

DH once asked me about nursing in bathroom stalls.

HIS opinion is that any man who tells his wife to nurse their baby in a bathroom stall should have his dinner served in the bathroom for a week!

Just do it.  Yes, husbands/dads should get some say in these things b/c they are invested, too.  But in the end, a BFing mother gets to make that call.  It's YOUR breasts that will hurt or leak, it's YOU who will have to battle supply issues, deal with a fussy baby at the breast, and it's YOUR very personal and dear BFing relationship on the line.

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:24 PM

For the life of me...I'm drawing a blank on "ERF."

Your DH sounds like mine.  He's accepted that since I do the most with the kids, and I'm responsible and educate myself before making choices, that it is my domain.  If he has a problem he needs to talk to me, but in public he'll stand by me 110%.

Quoting MaryJarrett:

First,  I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.

Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him. 
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue. 
 


MaryJarrett
by Mary on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:24 PM

Extended Rear Facing, car seat talk, sorry! Lol. We have a 3.5 yr old and a 2 yr old rear facing. 

Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

For the life of me...I'm drawing a blank on "ERF."

Your DH sounds like mine.  He's accepted that since I do the most with the kids, and I'm responsible and educate myself before making choices, that it is my domain.  If he has a problem he needs to talk to me, but in public he'll stand by me 110%.

Quoting MaryJarrett:

First,  I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.

Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him. 
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue. 
 



I'm Mary married(since 10-5-08) to Dallen, mommy to Serenity(2008) & Caidence(2010). Christian, SAHM, Full- term breast feeding, Cloth diapering, Vaccinating, Anti-CIO/Sleep-training, Natural birthing, holistic loving, AP, ERF, Bedsharing/co-sleepingresearch-loving kinda mama.

mamabens
by Miranda on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:25 PM

Extended Rear Facing

Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

For the life of me...I'm drawing a blank on "ERF."

Your DH sounds like mine.  He's accepted that since I do the most with the kids, and I'm responsible and educate myself before making choices, that it is my domain.  If he has a problem he needs to talk to me, but in public he'll stand by me 110%.

Quoting MaryJarrett:

First,  I'd get rid of all the formula. You have breasts that are working. You don't need it.

Then I would have a sit down, private, heart to heart with him. If that doesn't work, I would go somewhere with him and her, close to her feeding time. When she gets hungry, I would pass her over to him, and let him know to keep her calm until you are finished looking. You have no bottles, and she is hungry but since HE doesn't want you to NIP, HE's the one that needs to deal with the baby. He can walk around with her, bounce her, etc. He'll give in quickly. During my pregnancy, I thought this would be a big issue with my DH, so I had prepared the "They are my boobs, until you start nursing you don't have a say." speech. Thankfully, I've never needed it to him. 
I don't sacrifice my children's health for my DH's comfort. He's not against NIP and encourages it. BUT he is against ERF. He HATES it. But since I have the kids 99.99% of the time, I get to make that decision. It's not open for discussion. It just is. And to put it one step further, we were confronted at a child's birthday party about it, and he DEFENDED it. Why? Not because he agrees now, because he does NOT, but because he was defending ME. He was standing up for my rights. He wasn't going to have someone put me down. Even if he doesn't agree, he's not going to have me or our kids limited by someone else's (including his own) standards and comforts. It seems to be that this could be deeper than just a NIP issue. 
 



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