I pump and then bottlefeed my LO...I feel HORRIBLE about it. :(
OKAY. So I'm the oldest of 6 kids and my mom has breast fed every single one of us! So when I found out I was pregnant I knew that's what I wanted to do. I never thought it would be so hard! My mom made it look so easy...
My son was born on 11-11-11, Best thing that's ever happened to me! I was super excited to breastfeed him...what a nightmare. All the nurses said he was just a strong sucker and that my latch was fine... but it hurt SO bad... like by the time I went home from the hospital it was bleeding nipple bad, worst pain of my life bad. My family had just recently moved away so my expert mom was no where near to help, and my MIL formula fed so she was no help. I went to see a LC and while I was there my son, Maverick, fed okay...but she basically did everything for me! So when I got home I had no idea what to do and It was back to square one.
Maverick was getting milk and gaining weight just fine, but it still hurt me so much! but I was just so set on him breastfeeding So finally my MIL bought me a breast pump and told me to pump and bottle feed him. after about 2 1/2 weeks I gave in and pumped and bottle fed. AMAZING! everything falls into place, life is happily ever after...
except that I feel horrible. 6months later and I still feel so bad! I know he still got the good stuff, and hes happy and healthy (20 lbs of love!) but I just feel like I missed out on such a bonding experience, or that I gave up to early, like I should have kept trying. I did try again a few weeks later but by then he refused me, like shrieked until he got a bottle refused. I just feel horrible :( and I'm secretly jealous of all you ladies who can breastfeed your child. SIGH.
I don't know, I've just always had this on my chest, nice to be able to vent.
So I have been exposing Mav to some breast time at at nap when he's already pretty sleepy. He wasn't really latching for too long or anything, but I think exposing him is doing some good, He doesn't shriek and squrim away so much anymore. I think I'm going to keep at it. I'm a little afraid of his two teeth though, dang he likes to chomp! Thank You ladies for all the advice and words of encouragement!