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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

I pump and then bottlefeed my LO...I feel HORRIBLE about it. :(

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OKAY. So I'm the oldest of 6 kids and my mom has breast fed every single one of us! So when I found out I was pregnant I knew that's what I wanted to do. I never thought it would be so hard! My mom made it look so easy... 

My son was born on 11-11-11, Best thing that's ever happened to me! I was super excited to breastfeed him...what a nightmare. All the nurses said he was just a strong sucker and that my latch was fine... but it hurt SO bad... like by the time I went home from the hospital it was bleeding nipple bad, worst pain of my life bad. My family had just recently moved away so my expert mom was no where near to help, and my MIL formula fed so she was no help. I went to see a LC and while I was there my son, Maverick, fed okay...but she basically did everything for me! So when I got home I had no idea what to do and It was back to square one.

 Maverick was getting milk and gaining weight just fine, but it still hurt me so much! but I was just so set on him breastfeeding So finally my MIL bought me a breast pump and told me to pump and bottle feed him. after about 2 1/2 weeks I gave in and pumped and bottle fed. AMAZING! everything falls into place, life is happily ever after... 

except that I feel horrible.  6months later and I still feel so bad! I know he still got the good stuff, and hes happy and healthy (20 lbs of love!) but I just feel like I missed out on such a bonding experience, or that I gave up to early, like I should have kept trying. I did try again a few weeks later but by then he refused me, like shrieked until he got a bottle refused. I just feel horrible :( and I'm secretly jealous of all you ladies who can breastfeed your child. SIGH.

I don't know, I've just always had this on my chest, nice to be able to vent. 


EDIT>>

So I have been exposing Mav to some breast time at at nap when he's already pretty sleepy. He wasn't really latching for too long or anything, but I think exposing him is doing some good, He doesn't shriek and squrim away so much anymore. I think I'm going to keep at it. I'm a little afraid of his two teeth though, dang he likes to chomp! Thank You ladies for all the advice and words of encouragement!

by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:10 PM
Replies (41-48):
livewell
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Did you let it air dry with nothing covering it? (a bit of a challenge in today's anti-breast culture...)

Quoting Mazi184:

I've kind of half tried/ half playin to see if would suck but he just squirmed away from me.  I would love to try to get him back on the boobies! I just don't know how to go about doing it.. any suggestions??

I tried that trick though, didn't work for me:( 

Quoting livewell:

First off, don't be so hard on yourself!

Second, it's not too late to go back to the boob! You may find that he's now a little more controlled and you may be able to do it with less discomfort :)

Lastly, a trick my aunt shared - when baby is done feeding, express a little milk and rub it on the nipple and you will have NO cracked and bleeding nipples!



mommyjenn132
by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:50 PM

I haven't read the other replies, but have you visited an exclusively pumping board? There's one on ivillage that is excellent. Then you'll be with alot of mommies who are going through the same thing. I exclusively pumped on two occasions because I was a surrogate and was donating the milk to the biological parents. The longest I made it exclusively pumping is 2 months, not because of my supply, but just because it is so tiring. I give you props, it is HARD work! You've done amazing!

I don't think it means you've missed any bonding experience, I'm sorry it has made you feel that way!

Hugs to you!

aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on May. 4, 2012 at 3:50 PM
1 mom liked this

You never answered the question about tongue/lip ties. If he has a tie, that could be the cause of your pain and destroyed nipples. Getting him clipped can help, not only with nursing, but also with other issues in the future, like speech.

Mazi184
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:53 AM

No, I never had him checked out for that. What exactly is tonge/lip ties? 

Quoting aehanrahan:

You never answered the question about tongue/lip ties. If he has a tie, that could be the cause of your pain and destroyed nipples. Getting him clipped can help, not only with nursing, but also with other issues in the future, like speech.


Mazi184
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:54 AM

yeah, it takes a lot of a commitment, but where is that board at now??

Quoting mommyjenn132:

I haven't read the other replies, but have you visited an exclusively pumping board? There's one on ivillage that is excellent. Then you'll be with alot of mommies who are going through the same thing. I exclusively pumped on two occasions because I was a surrogate and was donating the milk to the biological parents. The longest I made it exclusively pumping is 2 months, not because of my supply, but just because it is so tiring. I give you props, it is HARD work! You've done amazing!

I don't think it means you've missed any bonding experience, I'm sorry it has made you feel that way!

Hugs to you!


Mazi184
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:56 AM

yeah I heard about that too, but like you said it's difficult to do in today's culture. When I was home I tired too.

Quoting livewell:

Did you let it air dry with nothing covering it? (a bit of a challenge in today's anti-breast culture...)

Quoting Mazi184:

I've kind of half tried/ half playin to see if would suck but he just squirmed away from me.  I would love to try to get him back on the boobies! I just don't know how to go about doing it.. any suggestions??

I tried that trick though, didn't work for me:( 

Quoting livewell:

First off, don't be so hard on yourself!

Second, it's not too late to go back to the boob! You may find that he's now a little more controlled and you may be able to do it with less discomfort :)

Lastly, a trick my aunt shared - when baby is done feeding, express a little milk and rub it on the nipple and you will have NO cracked and bleeding nipples!




aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on May. 5, 2012 at 11:36 AM
Tongue tie is when the skin under the tongue is tight or attached too far forward and restricts mobility of the tongue. It can cause pain with nursing and affect how much the baby can get at the breast. It can even affect baby's solid intake. Lip tie is the same thing on the upper lip and can also affect latching. Maggiemom2000 has posted some awesome information about the subject.
Quoting Mazi184:

No, I never had him checked out for that. What exactly is tonge/lip ties? 




Quoting aehanrahan:

You never answered the question about tongue/lip ties. If he has a tie, that could be the cause of your pain and destroyed nipples. Getting him clipped can help, not only with nursing, but also with other issues in the future, like speech.


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Mazi184
by on May. 5, 2012 at 12:25 PM

Oh I never knew that, I'll have to check out the information! He's starting solids now, but he doesn't seem to have any problem with that. It's good to know though, thanks!

Quoting aehanrahan:


Tongue tie is when the skin under the tongue is tight or attached too far forward and restricts mobility of the tongue. It can cause pain with nursing and affect how much the baby can get at the breast. It can even affect baby's solid intake. Lip tie is the same thing on the upper lip and can also affect latching. Maggiemom2000 has posted some awesome information about the subject.
Quoting Mazi184:

No, I never had him checked out for that. What exactly is tonge/lip ties? 




Quoting aehanrahan:

You never answered the question about tongue/lip ties. If he has a tie, that could be the cause of your pain and destroyed nipples. Getting him clipped can help, not only with nursing, but also with other issues in the future, like speech.



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