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I pump and then bottlefeed my LO...I feel HORRIBLE about it. :(

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:10 PM
  • 48 Replies

OKAY. So I'm the oldest of 6 kids and my mom has breast fed every single one of us! So when I found out I was pregnant I knew that's what I wanted to do. I never thought it would be so hard! My mom made it look so easy... 

My son was born on 11-11-11, Best thing that's ever happened to me! I was super excited to breastfeed him...what a nightmare. All the nurses said he was just a strong sucker and that my latch was fine... but it hurt SO bad... like by the time I went home from the hospital it was bleeding nipple bad, worst pain of my life bad. My family had just recently moved away so my expert mom was no where near to help, and my MIL formula fed so she was no help. I went to see a LC and while I was there my son, Maverick, fed okay...but she basically did everything for me! So when I got home I had no idea what to do and It was back to square one.

 Maverick was getting milk and gaining weight just fine, but it still hurt me so much! but I was just so set on him breastfeeding So finally my MIL bought me a breast pump and told me to pump and bottle feed him. after about 2 1/2 weeks I gave in and pumped and bottle fed. AMAZING! everything falls into place, life is happily ever after... 

except that I feel horrible.  6months later and I still feel so bad! I know he still got the good stuff, and hes happy and healthy (20 lbs of love!) but I just feel like I missed out on such a bonding experience, or that I gave up to early, like I should have kept trying. I did try again a few weeks later but by then he refused me, like shrieked until he got a bottle refused. I just feel horrible :( and I'm secretly jealous of all you ladies who can breastfeed your child. SIGH.

I don't know, I've just always had this on my chest, nice to be able to vent. 


EDIT>>

So I have been exposing Mav to some breast time at at nap when he's already pretty sleepy. He wasn't really latching for too long or anything, but I think exposing him is doing some good, He doesn't shriek and squrim away so much anymore. I think I'm going to keep at it. I'm a little afraid of his two teeth though, dang he likes to chomp! Thank You ladies for all the advice and words of encouragement!

by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
livewell
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:14 PM
2 moms liked this

First off, don't be so hard on yourself!

Second, it's not too late to go back to the boob! You may find that he's now a little more controlled and you may be able to do it with less discomfort :)

Lastly, a trick my aunt shared - when baby is done feeding, express a little milk and rub it on the nipple and you will have NO cracked and bleeding nipples!

Kandiface
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:14 PM
I'm sorry you feel bad, mama!
Don't feel bad. He's getting what's best for him whether it's right out of the tap or out of a bottle.
Just be glad you're able to give it to him. Gl!!
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skittlebeans88
by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 9:14 PM
I pump and bottlefeed my 4 month old daughter. As long as she gets moms milk. :)
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MamaCat1121
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:17 PM
On the brightest side you still gave him breast milk. I had the worst breastfeeding experience with my first and ended up formula feeding. With my second im ebf going on two months. Just try again with your next. You did great still no need to feel bad at all.
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ardiaxe
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 9:19 PM
4 moms liked this
I pumped and bottle fed my little girl until she was 17 months old. I never ever felt jealous or horrible. It was the most loving thing I could have ever done for my daughter. Some people would do anything to be able to provide breastmilk for their child. Be proud, it's an amazing accomplishment.
Mazi184
by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 9:19 PM

I've kind of half tried/ half playin to see if would suck but he just squirmed away from me.  I would love to try to get him back on the boobies! I just don't know how to go about doing it.. any suggestions??

I tried that trick though, didn't work for me:( 

Quoting livewell:

First off, don't be so hard on yourself!

Second, it's not too late to go back to the boob! You may find that he's now a little more controlled and you may be able to do it with less discomfort :)

Lastly, a trick my aunt shared - when baby is done feeding, express a little milk and rub it on the nipple and you will have NO cracked and bleeding nipples!


tbug9182
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this

There is nothing wrong what so ever with feeding him with pumped milk. Hell pumping is hard, very hard. And a lot of work.


I too was feeling the way you felt about not nursing but in reality he still got the same stuff just from a different tap. And others are now able to enjoy feeding him as well. Give mama a little break. I EP'd for 13 months myself and man I felt like a cow getting milked some days. You are doing a great thing mama and his health and weight gain show it.

Mazi184
by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 9:22 PM

That's amazing! My LO is 6mo and while I would do anything for him, pumping has to be one of the most annoying things everrr! that's another reason why I hate it... It's great to know I'm not the only one, it sure feels like it though!

Quoting ardiaxe:

I pumped and bottle fed my little girl until she was 17 months old. I never ever felt jealous or horrible. It was the most loving thing I could have ever done for my daughter. Some people would do anything to be able to provide breastmilk for their child. Be proud, it's an amazing accomplishment.


SLOmommy
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this
My son is a lazy eater. I have to nurse, then pump, then bottle feed for EVERY feeding. Needless to say I quit my job. We're getting by though.... He comes first! Man is this exhausting though, we've been at it for 4 months!
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soulofsunmama
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Livewell gave GREAT advice!!! The expressed boobi milk REALLY REALLY HELPS!!
Contact an IBCLC, not just an LC, huge difference!!
As with anything continued practice..bottle feed 1st for a short bit, to take edge off hunger, then try?
All my respect to you mama, you are so dedicated, its no easy feat to entirely pump and feed!!
Give yourself a great big HUG and A LOT of credit.
Xoxoxoxo


Quoting livewell:

First off, don't be so hard on yourself!

Second, it's not too late to go back to the boob! You may find that he's now a little more controlled and you may be able to do it with less discomfort :)

Lastly, a trick my aunt shared - when baby is done feeding, express a little milk and rub it on the nipple and you will have NO cracked and bleeding nipples!

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