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Expectations at 9 months...sorry long

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Today I ordered tickets to a live show for my family to go to in later July. My older kids have been seeing advertisements for it and I found out yesterday that it was coming to the USA. Anyhow, I bought tickets today and the family is stoked! Now the dilemma... Dh say we're not taking our baby girl to the show because shell be a distraction. (she'll be 9 months when we go). My baby absolutely will not take a bottle. I've been giving her a sippy cup with BM every so often and she kind of chews on it. I assumed that his parents would come with us to help us with the baby and keep her busy at the hotel while we are gone (its 3 hes away) that way I could nurse her before we leave and then when we get back to the hotel. He and his mom said no! That the baby is staying at home and they'll watch her there. I just don't know if she'll be taking a sippy cup real good at that point?? She still gets up 1-2 times at night to nurse and nurses herself to sleep. What am I going to do? I feel like just saying forget the trip. I'm not going without my baby. Dh says that I just HAVE to get her to take a bottle or sippy. I'm just so frustrated right now.
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by on May. 8, 2012 at 9:43 PM
Replies (21-29):
tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on May. 9, 2012 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this

SOunds so much like my now 8 year old, he has SPD(sensory processing disorder) but its very mild NOW, he hated nursing and I was forced to wean at 5 weeks anyways, but he refused to eat.  They told me oh he will eat when hungry about at age 2 after 4 days I didnt care what he ate as long as he did.  Carnation instant breakfast was his meal for a long time.  THANK GOODNESS the OT at the school was treating another girl in his PreK class for SPD, recognized his symptoms and paired them up to work with BOTH kids benefitting.

Quoting kajira:

my son's 8 and is now in the process of being diagnosed because we finally figured out what was wrong could be diagnosed. LOL - I thought he was autistic since he was 2 because of epic meltdowns and tantrums and other problems he never outgrew.

Anyways, I weaned him at 26 months on pediatrician recommendation because he'd only nurse and eat kix. wouldn't try new foods, wouldn't eat solids on a regular basis. Pediatrician felt it was the nursing.

he went on a eating strike when I weaned and landed on pediasure for a year before he was willing to eat/try solids again. he really lived on kix and pediasure between 2-3. ^.^

He's better now at 8 and I can occasionally bribe him to try new foods, but if its green, or he thinks its a vegetable even if its not - forget it. meltdown ensues at the mere thought. LOL

(on a good day though, I can get him to try new foods, even certain vegetables.)

I didn't know your kiddo was on the spectrum. I know it doesn't really matter, but it's nice to know that i'm not the only one.

I've been told my son's "different" because of breastfeeding/attachment style parent and i've also been accused of his wiring being different because of ignoring him. (not sure how that works with my parenting style, but hey... )


Quoting gdiamante:

That's certainly a consideration, though it will also depend on the level of autism. Mine is on the high functioning end of the spectrum and we never had the self-starvation problem, fortunately.

Quoting kajira:

unless the baby is autistic and not diagnosed yet. - my son wouldn't eat. LOL but he's in the process of being diagnosed with autism.

Quoting gdiamante:

1. Late July is a lifetime away. Things can change.

2. Babies often do things for others that they will NEVEr do when mom is around. Like taking cups or cleaning their rooms (OK< that's the bifg babies).

3. No infant will starve herself. When truly hungry she'll eat.

Enjoy your show.





GunaBmommaof3
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Thanks for the support. I am truly afraid that she will have a huge meltdown and I will be 3 hrs away and staying overnight. I left her with dh the other day to go pick up a pizza (I nursed her before I left) and she screamed the whole time I was gone and dh could not console her. He kept texting me to hurry home. I know July is a little while from now, but the what ifs just keep running theu my mind. I thought about calling my mom and have her come with us to stay with baby at the hotel to give me some sense of comfort. She is my biggest bfing supporter.


Quoting finnbar:

ooooh, i am going to stand with the few who have suggested you follow your own instincts and parenting style.  If leaving your child makes you uncomfortable/worried/etc than you should not.  I take it this is an overnight stay? What if she cries for hours and refuses to eat?  If she is with you 24/7 than ya'll have a tight bond right now. A lot of people will tell you that's not healthy but I have noticed that all of then enjoy maintaining close, supportive relationships for their own benefit.....


Also, with the lack of support you are getting from those closest to you I am calling a boundary issue. You have a boundary you are comfortable with "my baby stays with me" and your DS and MIL are saying "if it ain't convenient for us it ain't happening".    Were I in your shoes, I'd get another person willing to come and stay near the show with the baby.  That way, if she is miserable without you the babysitter can bring her to you or you can easily leave.  If they won't support your boundary, move around them and work out a solution that falls within your parameters.

hope ya'll enjoy the show


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GunaBmommaof3
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:07 PM
Yeah, I'm not sure why dh is against taking her. I really didn't think it was a big deal if she came along. We're going to "how to train your dragon live spectacular."


Quoting mitty18:

I have three kids. My oldest went to veggie tales live, the Harlem globetrotters, a play, and a handful of other live performances before the age of one.

Dd1 went to the circus, Disney on ice, trans Siberian orchestra, and several other shows before the age of one.

dd2 is seven months. So far she has gone to yo gabba live, the circus, Disney on ice, a baseball game, and a few other things.

All three enjoyed the shows and were awesome during them. No issues at all. I nursed the two girls during every single event. They weren't a distraction.



If you wanna take baby, take her. To hell if my dh or especially mil would say otherwise.



For those saying baby won't starve themselves, I beg to differ.

My seven month old will not take a bottle or sippy. She won't take solids and will only take her medication if I give it to her. I've tried the leave her she wont starve herself.

after six hours of her screaming and crying herself to sleep, she had to be brought to me. She will not take a sippy, bottle, or regular cup. Try to syringe feed her, she'll choke and spit it up but will not swallow it.

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GunaBmommaof3
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:13 PM
That would make the situation much easier on me if I knew for sure that she wouldn't care. Its partly my comfort level and anxiety that has me all up in arms about it. Maybe I'll do a trial run for a shorter length of time and see how she does.


Quoting gdiamante:

Heh heh... let me warn you abotu the upcoming kick in the pants...

Most likely, she'll hardly notice you're gone! That's what happened with mine.

Quoting GunaBmommaof3:

Yeah dh says she won't starve herself either. She has been by my side 24-7 so I don't know what she'll do without me. 

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kajira
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 3:16 PM

i have only left my daughter once and it was with 2 grandma's and her brother and i nursed her inbetween  packing up stuff because we were getting ready to move 1000 miles from home and relocate.

It's the one and only time I ever left my daughter with anyone, and I was only gone 5 miles away to pack the RV with our boxes to have it towed to our new town... and I was making trips back and forth so she wasn't "seperated" for any length of time and to her I was there often enough to nurse her and make her feel comfortable playing with her grandmas and brother inbetween my back and forth trips.

That's pretty much the only time anyone has watched her.

It's not even an "anxiety" thing for me. It just simply isn't something i'm comfortable doing and i'm okay feeling that way...

Quoting GunaBmommaof3:

Yeah, I'm not sure why dh is against taking her. I really didn't think it was a big deal if she came along. We're going to "how to train your dragon live spectacular."


Quoting mitty18:

I have three kids. My oldest went to veggie tales live, the Harlem globetrotters, a play, and a handful of other live performances before the age of one.

Dd1 went to the circus, Disney on ice, trans Siberian orchestra, and several other shows before the age of one.

dd2 is seven months. So far she has gone to yo gabba live, the circus, Disney on ice, a baseball game, and a few other things.

All three enjoyed the shows and were awesome during them. No issues at all. I nursed the two girls during every single event. They weren't a distraction.



If you wanna take baby, take her. To hell if my dh or especially mil would say otherwise.



For those saying baby won't starve themselves, I beg to differ.

My seven month old will not take a bottle or sippy. She won't take solids and will only take her medication if I give it to her. I've tried the leave her she wont starve herself.

after six hours of her screaming and crying herself to sleep, she had to be brought to me. She will not take a sippy, bottle, or regular cup. Try to syringe feed her, she'll choke and spit it up but will not swallow it.


MrsOssiander
by Member on May. 9, 2012 at 3:38 PM
Wow my dh would never tell me to leave our son like that. Then again he knows I'd have his head on a silver platter. If you aren't comfortable leaving your little one then don't. Chance are your lo would love the show or sleep through it. If you are comfortable leaving her at the hotel with your mom then do that instead. Go with your gut that instict is there for reason.
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mitty18
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 3:40 PM
If you want to take her you need to tell your dh that. You're mom. She is still very little and needs mom. More then likely she'll sleep through it. If not, the lights will hold her attention.
Let me know how it is. Ds wants to see it.


Quoting GunaBmommaof3:

Yeah, I'm not sure why dh is against taking her. I really didn't think it was a big deal if she came along. We're going to "how to train your dragon live spectacular."




Quoting mitty18:

I have three kids. My oldest went to veggie tales live, the Harlem globetrotters, a play, and a handful of other live performances before the age of one.


Dd1 went to the circus, Disney on ice, trans Siberian orchestra, and several other shows before the age of one.


dd2 is seven months. So far she has gone to yo gabba live, the circus, Disney on ice, a baseball game, and a few other things.


All three enjoyed the shows and were awesome during them. No issues at all. I nursed the two girls during every single event. They weren't a distraction.





If you wanna take baby, take her. To hell if my dh or especially mil would say otherwise.





For those saying baby won't starve themselves, I beg to differ.


My seven month old will not take a bottle or sippy. She won't take solids and will only take her medication if I give it to her. I've tried the leave her she wont starve herself.


after six hours of her screaming and crying herself to sleep, she had to be brought to me. She will not take a sippy, bottle, or regular cup. Try to syringe feed her, she'll choke and spit it up but will not swallow it.

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helema24
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:58 PM

id tell mine "then expect to go alone because i am NOT leaving OUR baby to have fun with you when you are being so insensative" also tell him this will apply in all arenas when it comes to your child. now you might get her to take a sippy before BUT for him to say no so readily should make even him want to cringe when he hears it thrown back at him. you can work on getting your lil one to take a sippy of fluids and solids as others have said BUT for a man to readily say such a thing to a mother that is obviously in need of reassurance and not direct bluntness is just wrong. even if you dont tell him the above thing you can still picture yourself doing so or pushing him out the vehicle halfway back home so he has to walk back... while you are nice and cool with your baby in your arms when he gets back. :D sorry might not be a popular opinion but ill even tell my dh hes a jerk when he is one!!

aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on May. 9, 2012 at 5:01 PM

The baby should be fine during a show like that! I still say take the baby and put her in a sling or wrap.

Quoting GunaBmommaof3:

Yeah, I'm not sure why dh is against taking her. I really didn't think it was a big deal if she came along. We're going to "how to train your dragon live spectacular."


Quoting mitty18:

I have three kids. My oldest went to veggie tales live, the Harlem globetrotters, a play, and a handful of other live performances before the age of one.

Dd1 went to the circus, Disney on ice, trans Siberian orchestra, and several other shows before the age of one.

dd2 is seven months. So far she has gone to yo gabba live, the circus, Disney on ice, a baseball game, and a few other things.

All three enjoyed the shows and were awesome during them. No issues at all. I nursed the two girls during every single event. They weren't a distraction.



If you wanna take baby, take her. To hell if my dh or especially mil would say otherwise.



For those saying baby won't starve themselves, I beg to differ.

My seven month old will not take a bottle or sippy. She won't take solids and will only take her medication if I give it to her. I've tried the leave her she wont starve herself.

after six hours of her screaming and crying herself to sleep, she had to be brought to me. She will not take a sippy, bottle, or regular cup. Try to syringe feed her, she'll choke and spit it up but will not swallow it.


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