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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

He wants me to WEAN my 10 month old by July 7th!!!

    So first my boyfriend was never supportive of my breastfeeding, his family didnt, and his one sibling who he adores, abhores breastfeeding, saying "its just unnatural". When i came into this relationship i was 8 months into breastfeeding my first child and no one said a word to me about it. I weaned her at 11 months as a personal choice not to continue to the full year.

      So when i had my 2nd daughter, his first, i of course planned to breast feed and want to do it AT LEAST until she is a year. I also want to keep at least one brest feeding until she is two. because Crohns disease has wreaked havoc on his sister and he is showing early signs of it. And breastfeeding specifically helps with Crohns. And he springs it on me the other day that he wants to take her, at 10 months, to another state to visit his father in prison (i cant go because his sister physically attacked me while i was pregnant and i no longer feel safe around her (i also dont want her around the girls alone but with our 2nd DD he has say sa and will probably do what he wants down there) so i am expected to wean her for this trip! Its insane!!!!

     I understand wanting to take her down there but he just up and tells me to wean her. (Im not doing it) we dont live together and he has visitation but not court ordered because his 'lawyer' hasnt set up a date. But i'm sorry im not weaning my daughter so his father, who made his decisions knowing full well he could go to jail, wants to see her. Im not risking her getting a horrible debilitaing disease like Crohns if i can help it, I try to talk to him and he doesnt want to hear it, i acnt pump because first i dont ever pump and 10 months in with less than 2 weeks notice i couldnt make enough extra to feed her for the three days and two nights.

     Am i being selfish? I mean his father 'trafficed' drugs from state to state for many years to support his gambling addiction, am i bitch for thinking that i am not going to hurt my daughter by weaning her early for a grown ass man who made his own decisions.

    Also last time my LOVELY boyfriend went down there he was my fiance. When he came back he DUMPED me and kicked me out with my two kids a week before Christmas, we are currently doing well and in couples counciling and i worry this will be December all over again, so thats the selfish part, that i dont want him to break up our family again

~*~Allie~*hugs~

by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 5:23 PM
Replies (31-40):
smilelovesmile
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:22 AM

no i do not have an order, not yet

smilelovesmile
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:24 AM


Quoting Nicollynne:

I don't understand how he can say it is unnatural.  How does he think women fed their babies before there was formula?


his sister said that. She is unable to have children due to her disease, and i think shes just bitter. . .

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:32 AM
3 moms liked this
No visitation out of your sight without an order


Quoting smilelovesmile:

no i do not have an order, not yet


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smilelovesmile
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:40 AM
1 mom liked this

so in response to everything.

1. I am not letting her go

2. Thank you all for your support

3-...15? lol we are wrking on these issues with counciling. His sister has him wrapped around her finger because he is afraid she will die soon, which is probably true. its unfortunate but her disease is a rough one and she doesnt take care of herself. I honestly think she will commit suicide, i dont want her to, no matter how much we dont get along, its just she has attempted it multiple times. He doesnt think its unatural, just that i could pump the milk and bottle feed her. . . thats another issue.

    I stand my ground i just needed to vent, i know im not being selfish, its just so crazy how against breastfeeding these people are, mind boggling! this is one of many many issues we have, but im willing to try counseling for a few months, we no longer live together so if it doesnt work it will be a discussion of just breaking up. And i have filled out my paperwork for a states attorney so im just waiting for our court date.

smilelovesmile
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:52 AM

you girls are amazing! I know my situation is hard and his and my relationship is in a bad place right now and there will probably be many more rants and posts from me going through this. While i know the man he is being today is a total D-Bag, he was for 3 years an amazing man and im hoping this is just a period of adjustment to the new situation in our lives, the baby, his sisters disease taking a turn for the worse, him losing his fathers house, him showing signs of Crohns, and his family trying to get involved. But i know better than to expect things to turn out perfect, i keep track of things and i try to work on one issue at a time even if 15 are being shoved down my throat.

    He knows just as i do that he has no say so over when i wean her, and he knows no judge can make me stop BF. He is just letting his sister start fights by whispering in his ear, i found out today that the WHOLE trip was her idea. just like the last trip. some days i feel his sister is trying to get me out of the picture. . . but then i think, maybe im being parinoid. . . lol rough days ahead :) Thanks for all the love and support, im going to like all your comments because i liked them all! :)

ashleywagoner
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree!


Quoting cabrandy03:

Not selfish a all, even if your baby wasn't breastfeediing anymore I wouldn't let her go.  His family dosn't sound like safe people for your child to be around!


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gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Jun. 23, 2012 at 1:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Crohns is not necessarily a killer. I have a cousin with it. He got a colostomy bag and has been living with that for close to two decades now.

smilelovesmile
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 1:40 AM

    yeah its not normally, but in addition to her being suicidal, she doesnt take her disease seriously, she has had over 6 surgeries just since i started dating her brother and refuses to eat healthy, and well when she is in pain and the medicine isnt helping she refuses to go to the hospital, so she is almost half dead by the time someone forces her to go, she has been hours away from sepsis (the doctor said this to me), that had she not gone in she would have been dead by morning from her intestine collapsing.

    So Crohns is managable to a point, you cant control flare-ups, but hers in combination with how she treats her body will probably kill her.

   And i am so sorry to hear about your cousin, i hope for the best for him (? i think you said him) i know 3 others with Crohns ouside of his sister and their family and they are all managing very nicely in their lives.

larissalarie
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 1:44 AM
3 moms liked this
No, not selfish at all. Btw, delaying any grains would be very helpful for your baby.

Bf being "unnatural" is about the funniest thing I've ever heard! Yes pumping the breast milk of a thousand pound animal that's pumped full of artificial feed, antibiotics, & hormones; HEAVILY processing it to even be digestible, and filling it with synthetic ingredients to even be slightly acceptable for human infants is SOOOOO natural, lol! Not to mention that plastic bottle! Yeah that's so natural!
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rissamom224
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 1:46 AM
3 moms liked this
I stopped reading at "his sister attacked me" ANYBODY who harms you shouldn't be around you and while you were pregnant? she aready could have harmed youre precious baby... WHY ARE YOU CONSIDER LETTING YOURE BBY GO WITH THEM??? if I was you this would be out of the question and id quickly flip this as "how could you expect me stop BF so my bby can visit a prison" its sounds like youre an in love women being pushed around cause of thinking with youre heart and not youre brain..
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