I need advice on breast feeding and sleeping. I am at my wits end.

[BabyBumbleBee]

I NEED sleep. My daughter is 12 months old and still wakes up 2-4 times a night. For the past year I have been getting small chunks of sleep and I can't take this anymore. Last night I had a breakdown as I was trying to get her to go back to sleep (unsuccessfully). Right now I'm trying not to break down as my daughter screams from the other room. I don't know what to do. (And no I normally don't just let her scream... it's just tonight... I'm at the point of breakdown).

I've tried co-sleeping. I really don't like it. I sleep horribly, wake up with every move or sound, and end up with back issues because my daughter constantly wants to nurse when we co sleep so I am always laying on my side.

I also deal with DMER which isn't helping things. It's not super intense, but it makes the actual act of breast feeding unenjoyable for me.

I'm at the point I want to be done with breast feeding all together. I'm starting to hate the fact that she can only be comforted by me. I'm sorry if I sound selfish or horrible, but it's how I feel. I wish she would be happy with my husband rocking her to sleep, but she isn't.

I need help. I need advice. I know there isn't some magic thing that will instantly change her sleeping habits, but something needs to change. How have you helped your babies sleep better at night? I feel like by 12 months I should be seeing some changes... ugh, I was want to cry right now.

[gdiamante]

Yep. Night wean... and DAD gets wakeup duty. Only time dad gets a pass is during a deployment (if he's military) or he does a job where he has people's lives in his hands (EMT, doctor, heavy equipment operator).

[blg5484]

DD is 2 and still night nurses 2 to 4 times so Im no help my DS is almost 10 months and nurses at night too

[babyanya323]

At 12 months babies can start drinking cow's milk! I was so happy to be done after 12 months. You have done wonderful going this long! But you need to take care of yourself also. Start weening if you feel up to it and if you are ready. Whole milk is the best after breastfeeding. The fat in whole milk is wonderful for the brain. Good luck!

[Leapdaybaby]

I read an article i wanted to share:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Does-Baby-Cereal-Really-Help-a-Baby-Sleep-Longer?&id=1961702
It says why babies wake in the night. Cereal not proven to sleep longer, and 5hr strerch is considered all night.
Www.kellymom.com
Has a ton of info. Best of luck. Remember u have done an amazing job and you only need worry about what works for your family.

[suemayonline]

Has she ever had a pacifier? If not, you might want to consider using one--at bedtime & during the night. This might be a good substitute for bf'ing in the night-time, especially if she's now just accustomed to getting up & nursing in the night, as opposed to actually needing the nourishment.

You might also want to talk this all over with your Ped.--in case there's something that has been missed, as well as other suggestions from them.

GL!

[BabyBumbleBee]

Thank you so much for all the advice/encouragement. To answer a few questions:
She has always been nursed to sleep. I'm not exactly sure how else to get her to sleep at this point :-/ She gets so worked up if a boob isn't in her mouth.
I have had dad try a few times to rock her to sleep but she screams just as hard as if I left her in there alone. I end up feeling so bad for my dh. She's never taken a bottle or pacifier so it's hard to find something to replace the boob that he could use to help comfort her. Any suggestions In helping him comfort her would be awesome :)
We usually have a routine but it's been crazy this summer. First we had family in town, then immediately after we had friends from out of town, then went on a vacation in the mountains, next Arizona, then one more family vacation. I still try to stick to our "schedule" (dinner, bath, bedtime) but it hasn't been as consistent as usual. I guess I'll have to work on that and maybe add more like reading a book. Maybe daddy can read her the book...

It's so foreign to me because my son was always (and still is) such a good sleeper. He also sucked his thumb so was able to self sooth at a very young age. I guess I just need to work on getting her to sleep without always having to nurse... Maybe dh and I need to have a pow wow and create a plan of action. Thank you all again so much!

[cabsmom10]

I loved your blog! Makes me feel so much better about not letting my 7 month old, high needs baby CIO. Sometimes we need to take in consideration how our babies are feeling...and not just think about ourselves :)

Quoting Gruntlings:

It gets better. This is my approach to sleep training: http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-wio-wait-it-out-method-of-sleep-training/  For some, understanding that it will pass is enough to keep going, which is why I'm sharing the above link. 

Your issue is not with breastfeeding. It is with the fact that you have sole responsibility for being the provider of comfort. It was that way with my first child in a relationship that no longer exists. Moms are not some magical sole provider of comfort. Dad just needs to step up to the plate, deal with the child, and figure out what works for THEM. Is daddy willing to partake in nighttime comfort or does he simply hand the baby back the second she starts to cry?

There are things that you can do to start establishing a healthier sleep routine. Do you currently have a bedtime routine that you do every night? Are you able to get the baby to sleep without nursing at all?

It's important to remember that weaning does not improve sleep, and can actually make things more difficult. 

Another thing to consider is what is happening in your child's life right now. Is she teething? Is her schedule chaotic? Is she getting too much sleep during the day? Is she nursing enough during the day? What is her diet like? Is it high in nutritiional value and in healthy fats?

[AlexSosa]

I was not aware that a 5hr stretch was all night. God really knew what he was doing when he gave me a newborn that sleeps 4-5hrs a night most nights.

Quoting Leapdaybaby:

I read an article i wanted to share:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Does-Baby-Cereal-Really-Help-a-Baby-Sleep-Longer?&id=1961702
It says why babies wake in the night. Cereal not proven to sleep longer, and 5hr strerch is considered all night.
Www.kellymom.com
Has a ton of info. Best of luck. Remember u have done an amazing job and you only need worry about what works for your family.

[bpryce]

this! plus does she take a bottle ever? pump and start giving her bottles? they will help her get used to the idea of not always being comforted by a boob. i stopped bf at 7months, and when my ds would wake in the night we'd give him a bottle and eventually his need for comfort at the aweful hours stopped. by 10months he was sleeping 12hrs solid every night 

Quoting JocelynsMama1:

Your dd is past the nutritional need to wake up that many times a night so by now its just comfort. you can slow down night time feedings with out stopping breastfeeding all together. If dad is in the picture make him take turns getting up with her at night tucking her back in.....i dont know your views on cry it out but it sounds to me like that would be most affective....i dont mean by letting her scream and sob till shes sick but have you hubby/bf (or yourself if theres no one else that can) and tuck her back in tell her he/you love her and its night night time then leave the room give her a few minutes and if the crying doesnt slow down and stop go back in and try again....it may take a while because by a year old she knows when i cry someoen comes and gets me.....you have to teach her to self soothe so she will go back to sleep on her own