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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

My SO is against me breastfeeding for more than 6 months!!

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I'd like to start off by saying that I EBF.

About a month ago, I asked my SO how long I should bf for. He told me "until our son is able to eat solid foods, so about 6 months."

So I asked him....."so does that mean you want our son to drink formula when he turns 6 months?"

He said, "no he can drink regular milk."

I told him "no, he can't hun. Babies can't drink cows milk until they are 1 year old."

He didn't have a comment for that. So, to me, I never got an answer from him.

You might be asking: why do I need to get my SO's approval when it comes to BFing? Because I want his support, I don't want him to be against me bfing after a certain amount of time.

So, again, I asked him about 2 weeks later, hoping this time, I would get a clear answer.

I asked him: "how long do you want me to bf for?"

He said: "I told you, as soon as our son can start eating solids."

I told him that "I know you gave me that answer but then I also told you babies can't drink cows milk until they are a year old. Then you never commented back."

He said "that's right, because I didn't know what to say."

He did tell me that he feels if the baby is old enough to ask for milk or food, that they shouldn't be bfing anymore.

I don't agree with that. I think that my son should get the same opportunity as my oldest son had, and that was he weaned himself off of the booby. So I want my youngest son to have that same option.

I would like to bf until either he weans himself off or until he's about 16-18 months.

What should I do?

I don't think that he's beeing fair at all. So what should I do?

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:25 PM
Replies (11-20):
ashleybgarcia
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Well, if he doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know what he's talking about, & shouldn't get a say until he does.
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xomrs.chase
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:50 PM
3 moms liked this
Ask him if he'd put regular unleded gas in a sports car (instead of super plus/ premium/ whatever its called) just because the car got a little older.

Lol put it in terms he can understand
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Allie_kat1
by Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell him once baby starts formula, the cost of it comes out of any play money he has, he has to mix, feed, wash all bottles and take care of anything else related to bottle feeding. After all, you have taken care of it all while breastfeeding, and if he wants to bottle feed, he gets to take over that responsibility. He will prolly change his mind pretty quick.
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maggiemom2000
by Ruby Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this

It really sounds to me like your SO means well, but just does not have the right information. The fact that he thought it would be okay to put baby on cow's milk, for example. Help to educate him!

This article on weaning is a good place to start! https://breastfeedingusa.org/content/article/thinking-about-weaning

K8wizzo
by Kate on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:02 PM
2 moms liked this

AAP Reaffirms Breastfeeding Guidelines

2/27/2012

 

Breastfeeding is a natural and beneficial source of nutrition and provides the healthiest start for an infant. In addition to the nutritional benefits, breastfeeding promotes a unique and emotional connection between mother and baby. In the policy statement, "Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk," published in the March 2012 issue of Pediatrics (published online Feb. 27), the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about the first six months of a baby's life, followed by breastfeeding in combination with the introduction of complementary foods until at least 12 months of age, and continuation of breastfeeding for as long as mutually desired by mother and baby.

This recommendation is supported by the health outcomes of exclusively breastfed infants and infants who never or only partially breastfed. Breastfeeding provides a protective effect against respiratory illnesses, ear infections, gastrointestinal diseases, and allergies including asthma, eczema and atopic dermatitis. The rate of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is reduced by over a third in breastfed babies, and there is a 15 percent to 30 percent reduction in adolescent and adult obesity in breastfed vs. non-breastfed infants. Approximately 75 percent of newborn infants initiate breastfeeding. Hospital routines more and more attempt to accommodate the breastfeeding mother. Pediatricians promote the advantages of breastfeeding to mothers and infants, as well as the health risks of not breastfeeding. As such, choosing to breastfeed should be considered an investment in the short- and long-term health of the infant, rather than a lifestyle choice.

Editor's Note: Updated parent information on breastfeeding will be available Feb. 27 on the AAP parenting website at www.healthychildren.org/breastfeeding.   Beginning March 8, www.HealthyChildren.org will be giving away free copies of the AAP book "New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding," to people who register on the website while supplies last.

loisl25
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:23 PM
3 moms liked this
I don't ask my dh his opinion about how long to nurse, but he keeps putting his two cents in anyway. He has never been supportive of bf'ing. At first he didn't want me to nurse at all, then he said only till six weeks, then he said six months, and from time to time he will say it's time to wean. She's four months now and I'm nursing as I write this. He will try to give her a bottle sometimes, but my smart little lady refuses it, so that helps my case. I honestly don't think dh's uneducated opinion is as important as baby's health, and I plan on nursing till she's one year old.
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larissalarie
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:36 PM
4 moms liked this
Not to be mean, but out seems like you are literally looking for trouble. Just breastfeed your child. HE didn't bring this up at all, it's you looking for an issue. If you didn't mention it, there's a good chance 6 months would come and go and nothing would have come of it, but now you've created a problem for yourself in the name of "needing support".
So stop bringing it up, breastfeed you kid and if baby starts solids at 6 months and he says something THEN deal with it.
You can start by telling him "regular" milk IS breastmilk, but unfortunately it's designed to meet a baby cow's nutritional needs, not a baby human's. It's also very tough to digest, nice for a baby cow who has 4 stomachs and is training to move on to eating grass and brush full time, not so nice for a baby human who is designed for a decidely gentler diet. You can also tell him every medical organization out there recommends 2 years as a MINIMUM for breastfeeding duration (except the AAP which says 1 is the minimum).

And to all the moms who say "Dad gets a say also": not when he has no legitimate reason for wanting to do something inferior for the child. Fear, ignorance, & insecurity should not be indulged at your baby's expense. That baby has no one else to be it's advocate other than Mom & Dad. If Dad is being an idiot about something, it falls to Mom to fight the fight to do what's best for her child.
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Pappi
by Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:57 PM

Remind him that cow's milk are for cow babies, and human milk are for human babies :)

There are also plenty of articles online on the benefits of breastmilk, would he be open to reading any of them?

krs_tristan
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:57 PM
3 moms liked this
Does dh ask for something to eat and drink? Yes, and he then gets food and drink. Everyone does! So why take away the best thing for your baby to when he can ask for it?
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piwife
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Like I told you on the other group, unless he grows boobs he has no say. If he wants formula so much tell him he can drink it himself
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