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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

So i've been ebf for my son sence birth he will be 1 on the 4th of next month, i hate bf now he will never sleep without it he bites even though i always tell him noo he always wants it he's a fussy baby never wants to be put down always wants to be carried he has to sleep with me with my breast, i wish me and df could just go have some us time but noone want's to babysit becuase he has a heart attck if i just go take a shower. i start college next year and i need to get to studying please help me, it's really time to wean. btw my son can drink out of any bottle or cup just fine but if he has it for too long he gets fussy and he will not fall asleep with it.

by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 1:32 AM
Replies (61-70):
LoganTroyMom
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Sounds like the best thing you can do, for you and for him, is cut him off cold turkey. :( I know it will be hard and he will cry and fight it for several days, but in the long run, it will be best for both of you. If you have to, turn off the baby monitor and let him cry it out. It sucks, but he will go to sleep and seriously, it will be Bette for both of you in the long run. :( I'm so sorry that I don't have any better advice.




don't turn the monitor off. turn it down, way down, if need be. a video monitor is a great investment, pricey but you can turn the sound off and watch baby and the lights indicate sound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah man, he's mine and he'll a l w a y s be

The b e s t thing that ever happened to me

You can't turn it off like electricity

I love him u n c o n d i t i o n a l l y

I'll take the blame and claim him every time

Yeah, y'all, he's m i n e ♥ [L.A.H. T.A.H. D.A.H.]
soulofsunmama
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Um, ok

Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

I think the better question is what is wrong with you and all the other rude people in this group who insist on berating others opinions! Nobody told you that you had to agree with everything that was said! Treat others the way you want to be treated, with respect and dignity, and maybe they won't feel the need to reflect your snarky, know it all attitudes back to you!



Quoting soulofsunmama:

What's wrong with you?





Quoting sthflachk:

You say tOmato and I say tomatO.



We both have opinions...like we both have buttholes.







Just agreeing to disagree with you...sorry I had to spell it out.








Quoting soulofsunmama:

What???




Tomatoes and buttholes are far different then letting a baby scream themselves senselessly scared..big difference.














Quoting sthflachk:

TOmato, tomatO. I don't know enough about her kid to tell her anything. I said he SOUNDS like a perfect candidate in my OPINION. which are like buttholes....we all have one.











Quoting redhead-bedhead:

Going cold turkey will make the separation anxiety much worse.






Just think, breastfeeding is the one thing he counts on for comfort and security and then his mother just stops and refuses and he is unable to process in his mind why this is happening.






Cold turkey isn't what's best for the baby.














Quoting sthflachk:

It's not like she can't express her milk to avoid mastitis and avoid issues like it. Her kid sounds like a PERFECT candidate for cold turkey to me!!















Quoting mostlymaydays:

It wasn't personal, just necessary to correct a medically contraindicated practice. While cold turkey can work for some things (*raises hand as a former smoker*) some things can't work that way. Mastitis and absesses are best avoided by all means. If someone is weaning their first baby, they don't know this until it happens. I am positive weaning techniques weren't covered in the breastfeeding class I took a million years ago. But on that note, cold turkey weaning might work for the BABY, just not the mom here, which is why I suggested the possibility of tapering with a pump if she wanted to quickly get the baby off the breast.









Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Lol! Oh my gosh people! I said I was sorry I didn't have any better advice! Geez! No need to jump on a person! Is there anywhere that a woman can go where saying something benign won't cause other women to start drama? *rolling my eyes*










Posted on CafeMom Mobile
soulofsunmama
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:35 PM
EXACTLY!

Quoting Randi02:

This.



It doesn't sound like breastfeeding is the problem, and cutting him off/leaving him to cry could make it worse.




Quoting asaffell:

No cold turkey, one breastfeeding session a week and it's doubtful it will make him sleep or less clingy. She will be in pain and at risk of mastitis if she does this cold turkey.

OP: Start by leaving baby with your partner for an hour. It's not about him - it's about you and your sanity and it's a necessity. Even an hour a week would do wonders, I think. Tell whoever is watching baby to not call. They need to figure something out with baby so that you stay sane. Breastfeeding isn't the problem here, even though I know it makes you feel touched out and it's easy to get irritated with it. You need balance and that will make the breastfeeding MUCH easier.



Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Sounds like the best thing you can do, for you and for him, is cut him off cold turkey. :( I know it will be hard and he will cry and fight it for several days, but in the long run, it will be best for both of you. If you have to, turn off the baby monitor and let him cry it out. It sucks, but he will go to sleep and seriously, it will be Bette for both of you in the long run. :( I'm so sorry that I don't have any better advice.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
asaffell
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 1:39 PM
2 moms liked this

It has nothing to do with differing opinions - it has to do with giving bad advice that is contradictory to all research out there. This group deals with best practices for mom and baby and in no way is weaning cold turkey a best practice for a nursing relationship. Nobody was rude to you - they just told you the research says the opposite of your advice.


Quoting sthflachk:

Thanks! I think some people WANT to argue!

Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

I think the better question is what is wrong with you and all the other rude people in this group who insist on berating others opinions! Nobody told you that you had to agree with everything that was said! Treat others the way you want to be treated, with respect and dignity, and maybe they won't feel the need to reflect your snarky, know it all attitudes back to you!




tlw4mealwaz
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 7:03 PM
Oh, so you're one of those parents whose entire existence revolves around their children? *rolling eyes* Well congratulations on raising the next generation of entitled brats! My children are loved, happy, and thriving, even though they've had to CIO a few times. They understand that my no means no and that my yes means yes. I will never give them the impression that my world revolves around them alone, because this world we live in doesn't either. Teaching them real world survival skills starts from birth, and doesn't mean that mommy isn't a safe place for them or that mommy won't ever be there. And yes, I will teach them that there are times when giving up their own wants is important/ necessary. Just because a child is crying does not mean that they need to nurse. This child in particular, based solely on what the mama said in this post, is testing his boundaries. As a parent it is our job to provide those. Giving in to his constant temper tantrums, in my opinion, is not going to be best for him or his mother. It's going to give him an attitude of entitlement and drive his mother to outbursts of frustration, or depression, which would not be healthy for either of them. This child is plenty old enough to be weaned, if the mother so chooses, and is asking for boundaries and consistency. Separation anxiety only gets worse if it's catered to, so I would never give that advice. Once again, nobody said that anyone here has to agree with everything posted, and frankly, this is twice now that you've spoken out of turn like you know me or my children, which you don't. If your science and research trumps my successful experiences, then by all means, whip out the scientific manual that followed your child out of the womb! I'm sure we'd all love to see it! Otherwise, don't quote me again.

Quoting melindabelcher:

so you think the big issue is treating other women online with dignity and respect......however you don't feel like your own children deserve dignity and respect? You think you're respecting your child by ignoring their cries and forcing them to give up. Very respectful.

Cio is to make moms life "easier". if you as a "grown person" can't adjust your schedule and accommodate an infants "inconvenient" temporary needs, just force the infant to fit *your* routine because clearly your needs trump that of an immature rapidly growing infant

*insert eye roll*




Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

I think the better question is what is wrong with you and all the other rude people in this group who insist on berating others opinions! Nobody told you that you had to agree with everything that was said! Treat others the way you want to be treated, with respect and dignity, and maybe they won't feel the need to reflect your snarky, know it all attitudes back to you!





Quoting soulofsunmama:

What's wrong with you?







Quoting sthflachk:

You say tOmato and I say tomatO.




We both have opinions...like we both have buttholes.









Just agreeing to disagree with you...sorry I had to spell it out.










Quoting soulofsunmama:

What???





Tomatoes and buttholes are far different then letting a baby scream themselves senselessly scared..big difference.

















Quoting sthflachk:

TOmato, tomatO. I don't know enough about her kid to tell her anything. I said he SOUNDS like a perfect candidate in my OPINION. which are like buttholes....we all have one.













Quoting redhead-bedhead:

Going cold turkey will make the separation anxiety much worse.







Just think, breastfeeding is the one thing he counts on for comfort and security and then his mother just stops and refuses and he is unable to process in his mind why this is happening.







Cold turkey isn't what's best for the baby.
















Quoting sthflachk:

It's not like she can't express her milk to avoid mastitis and avoid issues like it. Her kid sounds like a PERFECT candidate for cold turkey to me!!

















Quoting mostlymaydays:

It wasn't personal, just necessary to correct a medically contraindicated practice. While cold turkey can work for some things (*raises hand as a former smoker*) some things can't work that way. Mastitis and absesses are best avoided by all means. If someone is weaning their first baby, they don't know this until it happens. I am positive weaning techniques weren't covered in the breastfeeding class I took a million years ago. But on that note, cold turkey weaning might work for the BABY, just not the mom here, which is why I suggested the possibility of tapering with a pump if she wanted to quickly get the baby off the breast.










Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Lol! Oh my gosh people! I said I was sorry I didn't have any better advice! Geez! No need to jump on a person! Is there anywhere that a woman can go where saying something benign won't cause other women to start drama? *rolling my eyes*












Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tlw4mealwaz
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:44 PM
As a matter of fact, I myself was ebf, and my mother weaned me straight to cows milk at 9months, because I bit her, and she couldn't afford formula. Ironically enough, she cut me off cold turkey, and yes, I clearly survived. :) I also have a great relationship with her, and wouldn't have even known that she cut me off or let me CIO if she hadn't told me those things, so I can say with a fair amount of certainty there weren't any long term, irreparably damaging consequences... Well, other than the fact that now as an adult I'm capable of standing up for myself against bullies like you. :) any other questions? :)

Quoting melindabelcher:

The joy of freedom is that I'm allowed to quote and speak as I see fit. I didn't "speak out of turn" as I can speak whenever I want. If you don't want to be quoted don't reply :)
see in my house the world revolves around the needs of the children not the desires/conveniences of grown adults.
If I wanted the world to revolve around me I wouldn't have had kids. It's rather selfish to have a child and expect them to accommodate an adult.
The said child is still under 1 so is not plenty old enough to be weaned. Formula or breastmilk for the first year of life or do you have another well I survived story for that to.


Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Oh, so you're one of those parents whose entire existence revolves around their children? *rolling eyes* Well congratulations on raising the next generation of entitled brats! My children are loved, happy, and thriving, even though they've had to CIO a few times. They understand that my no means no and that my yes means yes. I will never give them the impression that my world revolves around them alone, because this world we live in doesn't either. Teaching them real world survival skills starts from birth, and doesn't mean that mommy isn't a safe place for them or that mommy won't ever be there. And yes, I will teach them that there are times when giving up their own wants is important/ necessary. Just because a child is crying does not mean that they need to nurse. This child in particular, based solely on what the mama said in this post, is testing his boundaries. As a parent it is our job to provide those. Giving in to his constant temper tantrums, in my opinion, is not going to be best for him or his mother. It's going to give him an attitude of entitlement and drive his mother to outbursts of frustration, or depression, which would not be healthy for either of them. This child is plenty old enough to be weaned, if the mother so chooses, and is asking for boundaries and consistency. Separation anxiety only gets worse if it's catered to, so I would never give that advice. Once again, nobody said that anyone here has to agree with everything posted, and frankly, this is twice now that you've spoken out of turn like you know me or my children, which you don't. If your science and research trumps my successful experiences, then by all means, whip out the scientific manual that followed your child out of the womb! I'm sure we'd all love to see it! Otherwise, don't quote me again.

Quoting melindabelcher:

so you think the big issue is treating other women online with dignity and respect......however you don't feel like your own children deserve dignity and respect? You think you're respecting your child by ignoring their cries and forcing them to give up. Very respectful.


Cio is to make moms life "easier". if you as a "grown person" can't adjust your schedule and accommodate an infants "inconvenient" temporary needs, just force the infant to fit *your* routine because clearly your needs trump that of an immature rapidly growing infant


*insert eye roll*






Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

I think the better question is what is wrong with you and all the other rude people in this group who insist on berating others opinions! Nobody told you that you had to agree with everything that was said! Treat others the way you want to be treated, with respect and dignity, and maybe they won't feel the need to reflect your snarky, know it all attitudes back to you!





Quoting soulofsunmama:

What's wrong with you?







Quoting sthflachk:

You say tOmato and I say tomatO.





We both have opinions...like we both have buttholes.











Just agreeing to disagree with you...sorry I had to spell it out.










Quoting soulofsunmama:

What???






Tomatoes and buttholes are far different then letting a baby scream themselves senselessly scared..big difference.


















Quoting sthflachk:

TOmato, tomatO. I don't know enough about her kid to tell her anything. I said he SOUNDS like a perfect candidate in my OPINION. which are like buttholes....we all have one.













Quoting redhead-bedhead:

Going cold turkey will make the separation anxiety much worse.








Just think, breastfeeding is the one thing he counts on for comfort and security and then his mother just stops and refuses and he is unable to process in his mind why this is happening.








Cold turkey isn't what's best for the baby.
















Quoting sthflachk:

It's not like she can't express her milk to avoid mastitis and avoid issues like it. Her kid sounds like a PERFECT candidate for cold turkey to me!!

















Quoting mostlymaydays:

It wasn't personal, just necessary to correct a medically contraindicated practice. While cold turkey can work for some things (*raises hand as a former smoker*) some things can't work that way. Mastitis and absesses are best avoided by all means. If someone is weaning their first baby, they don't know this until it happens. I am positive weaning techniques weren't covered in the breastfeeding class I took a million years ago. But on that note, cold turkey weaning might work for the BABY, just not the mom here, which is why I suggested the possibility of tapering with a pump if she wanted to quickly get the baby off the breast.











Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Lol! Oh my gosh people! I said I was sorry I didn't have any better advice! Geez! No need to jump on a person! Is there anywhere that a woman can go where saying something benign won't cause other women to start drama? *rolling my eyes*


















Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mry
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:57 PM
Being a mom is hard but he needs you so f stand up wipe those tears and put a boob in his mouth. I'm just where you are but I'm full time student already, its hard but he needs me and this is such a short time of our lives.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mry
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 10:00 PM
1 mom liked this
You may have survived but it did obvious damage because you think cio is ok. I hope when you are old and can't talk and want comfort your not left alone... Crying and screaming scared for any one


Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

As a matter of fact, I myself was ebf, and my mother weaned me straight to cows milk at 9months, because I bit her, and she couldn't afford formula. Ironically enough, she cut me off cold turkey, and yes, I clearly survived. :) I also have a great relationship with her, and wouldn't have even known that she cut me off or let me CIO if she hadn't told me those things, so I can say with a fair amount of certainty there weren't any long term, irreparably damaging consequences... Well, other than the fact that now as an adult I'm capable of standing up for myself against bullies like you. :) any other questions? :)



Quoting melindabelcher:

The joy of freedom is that I'm allowed to quote and speak as I see fit. I didn't "speak out of turn" as I can speak whenever I want. If you don't want to be quoted don't reply :)
see in my house the world revolves around the needs of the children not the desires/conveniences of grown adults.
If I wanted the world to revolve around me I wouldn't have had kids. It's rather selfish to have a child and expect them to accommodate an adult.
The said child is still under 1 so is not plenty old enough to be weaned. Formula or breastmilk for the first year of life or do you have another well I survived story for that to.



Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Oh, so you're one of those parents whose entire existence revolves around their children? *rolling eyes* Well congratulations on raising the next generation of entitled brats! My children are loved, happy, and thriving, even though they've had to CIO a few times. They understand that my no means no and that my yes means yes. I will never give them the impression that my world revolves around them alone, because this world we live in doesn't either. Teaching them real world survival skills starts from birth, and doesn't mean that mommy isn't a safe place for them or that mommy won't ever be there. And yes, I will teach them that there are times when giving up their own wants is important/ necessary. Just because a child is crying does not mean that they need to nurse. This child in particular, based solely on what the mama said in this post, is testing his boundaries. As a parent it is our job to provide those. Giving in to his constant temper tantrums, in my opinion, is not going to be best for him or his mother. It's going to give him an attitude of entitlement and drive his mother to outbursts of frustration, or depression, which would not be healthy for either of them. This child is plenty old enough to be weaned, if the mother so chooses, and is asking for boundaries and consistency. Separation anxiety only gets worse if it's catered to, so I would never give that advice. Once again, nobody said that anyone here has to agree with everything posted, and frankly, this is twice now that you've spoken out of turn like you know me or my children, which you don't. If your science and research trumps my successful experiences, then by all means, whip out the scientific manual that followed your child out of the womb! I'm sure we'd all love to see it! Otherwise, don't quote me again.

Quoting melindabelcher:

so you think the big issue is treating other women online with dignity and respect......however you don't feel like your own children deserve dignity and respect? You think you're respecting your child by ignoring their cries and forcing them to give up. Very respectful.


Cio is to make moms life "easier". if you as a "grown person" can't adjust your schedule and accommodate an infants "inconvenient" temporary needs, just force the infant to fit *your* routine because clearly your needs trump that of an immature rapidly growing infant


*insert eye roll*







Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

I think the better question is what is wrong with you and all the other rude people in this group who insist on berating others opinions! Nobody told you that you had to agree with everything that was said! Treat others the way you want to be treated, with respect and dignity, and maybe they won't feel the need to reflect your snarky, know it all attitudes back to you!





Quoting soulofsunmama:

What's wrong with you?







Quoting sthflachk:

You say tOmato and I say tomatO.





We both have opinions...like we both have buttholes.











Just agreeing to disagree with you...sorry I had to spell it out.










Quoting soulofsunmama:

What???






Tomatoes and buttholes are far different then letting a baby scream themselves senselessly scared..big difference.


















Quoting sthflachk:

TOmato, tomatO. I don't know enough about her kid to tell her anything. I said he SOUNDS like a perfect candidate in my OPINION. which are like buttholes....we all have one.













Quoting redhead-bedhead:

Going cold turkey will make the separation anxiety much worse.








Just think, breastfeeding is the one thing he counts on for comfort and security and then his mother just stops and refuses and he is unable to process in his mind why this is happening.








Cold turkey isn't what's best for the baby.
















Quoting sthflachk:

It's not like she can't express her milk to avoid mastitis and avoid issues like it. Her kid sounds like a PERFECT candidate for cold turkey to me!!

















Quoting mostlymaydays:

It wasn't personal, just necessary to correct a medically contraindicated practice. While cold turkey can work for some things (*raises hand as a former smoker*) some things can't work that way. Mastitis and absesses are best avoided by all means. If someone is weaning their first baby, they don't know this until it happens. I am positive weaning techniques weren't covered in the breastfeeding class I took a million years ago. But on that note, cold turkey weaning might work for the BABY, just not the mom here, which is why I suggested the possibility of tapering with a pump if she wanted to quickly get the baby off the breast.











Quoting tlw4mealwaz:

Lol! Oh my gosh people! I said I was sorry I didn't have any better advice! Geez! No need to jump on a person! Is there anywhere that a woman can go where saying something benign won't cause other women to start drama? *rolling my eyes*





















Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mry
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this
If you can't be a parent and CARE for your helpless child maybe you shouldn't be a parent . My world is my child and he knowsit guess what he is the happiest, loving independent child. Wanna know why? Because he knows I'm always here for him I will always help him if he needs it. He trusts me and knows I'd never leave him sad scared crying and alone locked in a crib.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Aug. 19, 2012 at 10:17 PM
1 mom liked this

I went back trying to find the post regarding the research behind cry it out. After pages of searching among the quoted quotes I gave up, but here is one recent article from "Psychology Today", from Dec 2011. "Dangers of Crying It Out"

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