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We usually go to my husbands parents house one day every weekend. A few things bug me about it and i wanted your advice. First... my MIL is a complete baby hog. Which makes it hard for me to tell if Aiden is hungry! She'll never say anything but she'll just put him back to sleep but my boobs are telling me differently. And when we get home its like an all night nurse a thon! Second. All the men, my FIL and BIL leave whenever i feed him. One day everyone exited the house and sat on the porch until we were finished which makes me feel uncomfortable, rushed and lonely! I wear a cover so they wouldn't see anything! Third. They are always saying i should give him tastes of what we were eating. One day MIL gave him caramel on his paci while i was out if the room. I have had my husband tell them multiple times i don't want to give him solids this early (3 mos thursday). But they keep pushing it. Fourth. FIL made a comment that i won't want to bf once he starts teething! Yes i do... i want to go at least a year. Do they EXPECT me to stop when he gets teeth? Ugh vent over!
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by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Replies (31-38):
Wyattsmommy811
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 10:23 AM

I know how you feel me and my husband have had to move in with his Grandmother and we have a 2 year old little boy and an almost 3 month old girl and anytime Carley is crying she thinks that she is  supposed to be the one holding her not me. And I went to church last Sunday with my MIL and she gave Carley icing while I was taking care of my son. Then I saw her trying to give her some more and I was like no do not give her that she is way to little plus who gives a 2 month old icing? Really??? One multiple times before that she has giving our son candy when we told her not to and she likes to act like she is my childrens mother and like she knows the best things to do and she always sayss something about anything that I do. To her I am always doing wrong. My grandmother said that she should leave me alone seeing as she has had her chance at raising all of her boys she should let me do the same thing.

hkcason
by Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 3:32 PM
I stuck to this rule: every 2 hours while awake no matter who was holding him. Is ur baby tell the witch to give em up! & super big kudeos to u. I tried nursing once @ my in-laws. They have no central heating/air so I'm in the back bedroom(where I chose to go cause I was only 2 weeks into nursing & not great @ it)sweating my ass off! Needless to say I never went back. Ok so not just b/c of that, but that's a different group all together!
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hkcason
by Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Oh & buy this book immediately: A Wifes Guide to In-laws, How to gain your Husband's loyalty without killing his parents. I wish I had it years ago. U will find so much helpful info to bring ur husband on ur side & have his eyes opened to the controling person his mom is. It's by Dr. Jenna D Barry. If u buy it from her website its $20. WWW.WifeGuide.org
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piwife
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 4:04 PM
I would talk to your husband and set rules.
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mama02040608
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 4:50 PM
I would stop going over there. No one decides when and what my baby eats but me. And your DH needs to grow a set. YOU are his family now, and his first priority. Not his mom's feelings.
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KnikkaP
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 6:06 PM

Sounds like my in laws... luckily I onlt have to see them once a year. The last Christmas we spent with them they gave my 9 month old pepsi and hershey kisses. I was LIVID. But I'm also not afraid to say so... I also have my husband on board, sometimes I'm too shy to yell at them so he'll step in a be like "this is how we feed him, you all need to drop it" and "if only -I- was breastfed, maybe everyone wouldn't be so weird about it" and "we don't give him any sugar, if you'd like to help feed him we have plenty of baby food that we made."

MonicaV1982
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 6:38 PM

Remind them that it is a privilege to see their grandchild. You carried him. You birthed him. You spend most of the time with him. Regardless of their beliefs they do not have the right to go against your practices. My husband is noticing the effects of bottle preference and giving food whenever to another baby. It is pretty sad when a baby begs for doritos and sweets and throws a tantrum when not getting it. It's sad when regular soothing methods are almost impossible because the child expects treats. Most importantly back to my main point. It is your right. I would probably mutter something they could hear when leaving about not being comfortable around a natural act.


finnbar
by Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 6:48 PM

oooh, you are in a pickle here.  It sounds like your inlaws are putting pressure on your husband to bring the BABY over to see them.  Feel free to feel like a rent-a-womb because that's how they are treating you. 

If you don't want to go over there every single week, tell the hubs ya'll are back on the pre-baby visiting schedule and any EXTRA trips can be made by them.  Let them face you on your turf baby!

Also, how you begin is how things will carry on and it will not get any easier as your child grows.  You must make them respect you now. Perhaps out of that respect will grow actual admiration and liking but even if that never happens, at least they won't be stressing you out all the time.


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