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Ok ,so I've been lurking in this group for a while just gathering information ( and I have learned a lot!!) but I now actually have a question.

I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with a little boy that I will be breastfeeding. This is not my first pregnancy. I had another little boy in January 2007 who I placed for adoption when he was 6 days old. Now my son was breastfed for the 6 days I had him and I had no problems. Ever since I mentioned to my husband's family that I will be breastfeeding I've been told "you'll give up after a week", "we're not poor you don't do that", "why? formula is SOO much better" and so on. My question is how do you deal with that?!?!

I mean I have a thick skin (had to get one from the hateful things I was told after placing my son), but even after presenting information to show how great breast milk is it doesn't change.  I feel like I'm going to have more problems once little boy is here.

 Luckily my side of the family is very supportive, my mom breastfed me and my brother, both grandmothers breastfed all their kids. But the only family that lives near me is my parents, the rest of the family is my DH's side. I'm just getting annoyed with them, especially since I set up my baby registry and I only put a few bottles on there. And it doesn't matter how many times I say I'm bfing I get told that I'm going to fail or my favorite so far that my baby will be a "pedophile if you breastfeed more than 6weeks."

Agghh!! Okay, vent over.

So in case I lost anyone, how do you deal with the negative comments? I really hope many of you can't relate, but if you have any advice please share!!

by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 9:25 PM
Replies (51-58):
Mrs.Sells
by Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Ask her what training and qualifications she has received that make her an expert on BFing 

Quoting risa_alvarez:

That was favorite statement, just because I seriously thought she was joking. It took me a while to realize she was dead serious. I wish I had more of my family down here they are all for bfing (my dad was bfd until he was 2, all his siblings and one of the babies my gma fostered were bf'd).

If its something that makes dhs side uncomfortable I would understand (just like I KNOW my dad is a little uncomfortable with my bfing around him but he wants me to bf), but they are just against it.  What scares me is his godmother is against it and she's a retired nurse and everyone takes her word on anything medical related. SMH

Quoting sdunaway08:

Breastfeeding past 6weeks will make a baby a pedophile? Well thats the funniest one I've heard thus far. I've never had a breast fed baby (pregnant with my first) and I was not breast fed as an infant but scientific evidence PROVES without a doubt the breastfeeding is the best choice if its possible for mom and baby. You and baby will benefit so much from it.

I dont have family to agree or disagree with my choice but I do have inlaws (two sets). DH's mom and stepdad side are all for breastfeeding. MIL is actually an RN in a NICU in one of Texas' top ranked hospitals. She obviously fully approves of the boob! DH's dad and stepmom side are bit overly religious and dont agree with public BFing and think BFing should be done in complete private and not talked of. Love all of them to death and I will respect my FIL's side by not talking about it and not doing it infront of them...just because I do respect them and do not want to cause tension. (They've never said any of this directly to me or anything, just how they are according to DH) Agree? Not really but I can make a few sacrifices...Its not like we will be seeing them much (5hrs away).



Mrs.Sells
by Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this

BTW, I guess Jesus was a pedophile too 

PolishMamma2
by Marta on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:38 PM
Make them shut up,, print out every piece of info from the internet supporting breastfeeding, why formula was ever made, and how many times different brands have been recalled. ;-)
larissalarie
by Platinum Member on Sep. 27, 2012 at 12:43 AM
2 moms liked this
You sound like a very strong woman, so I'm sure you'll do great at ignoring them and mastering the silent blank stare when they start in on such nonsense. Limit contact with them as much as possible and make a family of your own with friends.

As to the pedophile thing...tell them that means Jesus Christ was a pedophile then since he breastfeed for YEARS.
And if breastfeeding past a few weeks gives you a sick obsession with children sexually (who ironically enough don't even have breasts yet....), then what does a long-term feeding relationship with cow breasts, chemicals & additives, and a breast dildo (bottle...aka fake boob) do to you?! Will you be into bestiality and inanimate objects?!
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larissalarie
by Platinum Member on Sep. 27, 2012 at 12:46 AM
Exactly! If she's going to throw around her "qualifications" don't bat an eye at calling her out. Nurses TODAY don't even receive training in human lactation/infant nutrition, let alone when granny got get nursing training.

Quoting Mrs.Sells:

Ask her what training and qualifications she has received that make her an expert on BFing 


Quoting risa_alvarez:

That was favorite statement, just because I seriously thought she was joking. It took me a while to realize she was dead serious. I wish I had more of my family down here they are all for bfing (my dad was bfd until he was 2, all his siblings and one of the babies my gma fostered were bf'd).


If its something that makes dhs side uncomfortable I would understand (just like I KNOW my dad is a little uncomfortable with my bfing around him but he wants me to bf), but they are just against it.  What scares me is his godmother is against it and she's a retired nurse and everyone takes her word on anything medical related. SMH


Quoting sdunaway08:


Breastfeeding past 6weeks will make a baby a pedophile? Well thats the funniest one I've heard thus far. I've never had a breast fed baby (pregnant with my first) and I was not breast fed as an infant but scientific evidence PROVES without a doubt the breastfeeding is the best choice if its possible for mom and baby. You and baby will benefit so much from it.


I dont have family to agree or disagree with my choice but I do have inlaws (two sets). DH's mom and stepdad side are all for breastfeeding. MIL is actually an RN in a NICU in one of Texas' top ranked hospitals. She obviously fully approves of the boob! DH's dad and stepmom side are bit overly religious and dont agree with public BFing and think BFing should be done in complete private and not talked of. Love all of them to death and I will respect my FIL's side by not talking about it and not doing it infront of them...just because I do respect them and do not want to cause tension. (They've never said any of this directly to me or anything, just how they are according to DH) Agree? Not really but I can make a few sacrifices...Its not like we will be seeing them much (5hrs away).




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Juliet8826
by on Sep. 27, 2012 at 5:06 PM

I love the idea that you could show them research and talk them through things and eventually they would understand and see the light. But it sounds like that is not going to happen. I think you need to come up with a phrase that you can say that shuts the conversation down. Something like, "Thank you for your input. I know how much you care about the baby. We're doing a lot of research and DH, myself and our doctors will decide what is best for baby."

You're going to need the armor to deflect their judgments because I doubt it will be limited to what LO eats.

Stay strong and try not to let their negative talk get in your head. You WILL be able to breastfeed past a week. You DO know it is the best food. And fortunately it sounds like DH is on your side. Once your baby is here it will be so much easier to just focus on your new little family and tune out this outside junk.

AudlyLuvly
by Bronze Member on Sep. 27, 2012 at 5:18 PM
I wouldnt be nice. They aren't. Id tell them to shove their opinions bit based off of research you're going to do what is best for babies. Also, point out that even formula companies say "breast is best".
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TheMommaJessie
by on Sep. 27, 2012 at 5:27 PM

i pumped for 11 months because my little guy never learned to nurse (hospital put him on bottle with out letting me try he was real preemie) but i plan on breastfeeding my daughter who is due in a few weeks and i have had nothing but support. If they can't see the benefit of nursing over formula, formula is terrible most of them are not even milk based they are high froctuse corn syrup based and are expensive, then tell them to just keep their opinions to their selves if they have nothing nice to say. tell them you need positive thoughts and opinions and they have said their negativity and now they need to keep it to their selves.

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