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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Made to feel ashamed of breast feeding :-/

Posted by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:17 AM
  • 53 Replies
Ok ladies. Here goes. I'm putting this out there because you all seem very supportive and knowledgable about the ins and outs of it. And I'm tired of feeling ashamed of something I want so bad, and that I think is right.
I have a son who is 7 yrs old and am 28 weeks pregnant with another baby boy. When I had my first son I wanted nothing more than to be able to breast feed, but I had problems with my let down and I knew I had to return to work full time and pumping and formula supplementation would most likely be necessary. So my little baby boy spent 2 weeks on nothing but formula despite trying several times a day and all the tricks for let down. Luckily me being so stubborn he still latched on very well. Well my husband at the time was in the military and getting deployed soon, so he was happy for the bottle feeding time he got. But my mil and my own mom were on me for being upset and frustrated about it. Saying we had been bottle and formula fed and nothing happened to us. But I wanted it so bad! After the first few weeks when I finally let down I cried tears of joy. And that first feeding session is the best moment of my memory to this day. I started pumping right away as well so my husband could have his time too. And when I returned to work I was lucky enough to have a boss who had just had a baby as well so I was able to pump at work with out any issues. So he had breast milk in bottles while I was at work and nursed when I was home. But after only a few months I started drying up and not producing enough and he wasn't getting enough. So back to adding in formula we went. It was so hard and frustrating and again my family just told me to get over it. Plus I was only allowed to nurse at home. I had to bring bottles every time we went out. My husband was a very jealous man and didn't like me doing something that private out in public. Well my family and in laws were the same. It's not like I'd just whip a tit out. I'd always go somewhere private and cover myself. But even at home I had to cover myself because no one wanted to see or hear about it. I swear the stress from everyone around me made me dry up so fast. So my dilemma now. I'm divorced and have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 yrs. and he is nothing like my ex, very supportive and wants me to do what I want. But I am very scared about having the same issues this time around. I am lucky enough to be able to take about 6 months off after he is born. But even though the boyfriend is supportive, he doesn't believe in nursing in public. Especially if someone doesn't cover. And he wants to be able to feed him as well. And then there's my family who I already said how they are. So here I am at 28 weeks and already so stressed about how and what to do. So afraid I won't let down again, or I'll dry up quickly again, or not make enough. Or that this one will have issues going between breast and bottle. Because its been made clear to me again not to do it around my family or in public. So I will have to pump some.
So my questions are this: Do I put my foot down now and say "NO! It was ruined for me last time and I'm doing it my way this time!" or do I wait til he's born and just do what I want even if it bothers everyone else? And if I have the same problems as with my first, do I just ignore everyone and keep it to myself that way nobody can say anything? We are both close with our families and spend a lot of time with them. Cutting that back isn't really an option so I know the situations will arise :-(. Advice anyone? Anyone had similar experiences?
Sorry I went on so long. I just had to get it out. Thank you :-)
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by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Nimil
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:22 AM
2 moms liked this
definitely put your foot down! don't let these people take control of how you feed your baby!
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FebPenguins
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:26 AM
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IMO: It is YOUR baby who YOU carried for 9 months. So many think breastfeeding is all about baby. Mom and her feelings are involved too, not to mention the hormones! We were created to nurse our young, just like every other mammal in this world! I recently read a bf article that mentioned that when our breasts are unable to be nursed from, it sends signals to the brain that baby died! What a concept! If you feel the need to bf (which you should) for you~ DO IT! I believe in you!!

TheBabyFactory4
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Put your foot down. Who cares what thy want (including boyfriend)
Nurse wherever the baby needs to eat. If they don't like it then they can leave. Its not about them. Its about feeding your baby
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MomTiara19
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:37 AM

Hi,

I breast fed one of my children and felt the experience was natural and beautiful.Yet I covered my breast in public with a towel while feeding.I am ALL  for breastfeeding but not exposing my breasts.If I lived in a nudist colony maybe this would be ok.Showing your breast in public is exposure....breastfeeding is beautiful .Honestly what is wrong with keeping covered instead of not being covered?You get to breastfeed and your breasts are not exposed...who loses with this attitude it is a win win situation?

~Tia

Ginnygurl97
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:40 AM
Thank you :-)


Quoting FebPenguins:

IMO: It is YOUR baby who YOU carried for 9 months. So many think breastfeeding is all about baby. Mom and her feelings are involved too, not to mention the hormones! We were created to nurse our young, just like every other mammal in this world! I recently read a bf article that mentioned that when our breasts are unable to be nursed from, it sends signals to the brain that baby died! What a concept! If you feel the need to bf (which you should) for you~ DO IT! I believe in you!!


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Ginnygurl97
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:42 AM
And that's exactly how I feel. Unfortunately those around me don't. :-/


Quoting MomTiara19:

Hi,


I breast fed one of my children and felt the experience was natural and beautiful.Yet I covered my breast in public with a towel while feeding.I am ALL  for breastfeeding but not exposing my breasts.If I lived in a nudist colony maybe this would be ok.Showing your breast in public is exposure....breastfeeding is beautiful .Honestly what is wrong with keeping covered instead of not being covered?You get to breastfeed and your breasts are not exposed...who loses with this attitude it is a win win situation?


~Tia


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BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this
Honestly my husband didn't want me bf and nursing in public. Well dd is 5 months old and this summer I walked around a zoo nursing. And dh helped me tuck the cover around so little wiggly worm didn't expose me. I've nursed at pools all summer and no one honestly had any clue. Actually yesterday we had a home inspection done i forgot bottled but had my cover. Well I had to talk to the inspector plumber realtor all while bf. no one seed to even give me a second look.

Bottom line. You can pump and your bf can feed him I do it lady bottle if the night or the bottle while I'm at the gym. Gives me a break I get to have me time. But when I'm home dh rarely gives a bottle.
Your nf will get used to it and when he hears his child crying and upset he won't care what ya do he will just want his baby happy.
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Rlambert6002
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I would breastfeed my baby whenever and wherever I wanted to. My mother thinks the fact that I've always breastfed my babies openly in front of my other children is the most awful thing. I don't care though. I figure I gave birth to them and it's my choice. Her remarks used to bother me but now it just goes in one ear and out the other.

mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:13 AM
3 moms liked this
Just tell them "I'm doing what's best for the BABY. Period. No one else's issues are more important than the baby's". For real? A grown up is still going to say they want the fun of giving the baby a bottle when the bottle might cause problems for baby and mama? I'd have no problem telling the naysayers to back away, even to disappear if need be. BABY COMES FIRST. If you think that way, everything will be fine.
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mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:20 AM
3 moms liked this
And while I've breastfed 4 babies in public, no one has ever seen my breasts. I dressed to accommodate the baby or had my sling with me so I was super discrete. And the only people who seem to get really ruffled are the ones who are actually staring and staring. I think it's pretty rude to stare at people, no matter what they're doing!
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