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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

how do i convince dh that he has it easy

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He can't feed the baby.
He hasn't changed a diaper.
He hands him to me whenever Corbin gets fussy.
He takes showers without bringing in the carseat and baby.
He doesn't wake up at night with Corbin.

But he's pissed off he didn't get enough sleep.
Because he went to a bar last night.
Poor dh.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:46 AM
Replies (31-40):
Kimbyann
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:05 PM
By working on it I mean saving money


Quoting gdiamante:

Kimby... you will never change him. Men like that DO NOT CHANGE. 

He's KICKED YOU OUT? Why the hell did you go back?

Have you gone for marriage counseling? Go yourself if he won't go with you. Because I suspect he was not at a bar last night. There may have been alcohol, but not at a bar.

This is 2012, not the 1930s. But I'll tell you this: My grandparents lived in the 1930s and their wives were as much partners to them as anyone. They did NOT live by the rules your idiot husband lives by, not by ANY means.

Quoting Kimbyann:

I cooked dinner and waited for him to get home from work...and waited.... and waited... 4hrs later he comes in saying he didn't call cause I would be upset.

and I live in the 1930s. I dont have a job to pay bills so its his house and his rules. If I tell him where to sleep I'd be outside. Its happened before.

He's one rude SOB. But I'm working on it.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
betsy9023
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:33 PM
I tell my dh the same thing. He complains he didn't sleep good the night before but was interrupted sleep. I wake up with baby numerous times a night. Ughhh men.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Funny you should mention that, Amber... our pastor talked about this at last night's service and had some basic advice.

1. "That was then, this is now." Even Jesus countermanded some Mosaic law in favor of the pragmatism of his times.

2. Jesus commanded two simple things: Love God, and love your neighbor as yourself. Do that and you can forget EVERYTHING else!

3. St Augustine put it even more simply: Love God, and do what you want. Because if you TRULY love GOd, you'll do nothing that pisses him off. Like not loving your neighbor as yourself.

The Ten Commandments are basically loving God and loving your neighbor as yourself. All those 618 rules in the rest of the Old Testament? Outdated as the buggy whip!

Quoting Amberleigh81:

 Also, if you are Christian, the whole "women, obey your husbands" has a REALLY IMPORTANT 2nd part "... and husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church."

Would your husband DIE for you? Does he put your needs above his? THIS is a Biblical husband. Don't let him lie to you. :(
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't wait that long. Find a shelter in your area. He kicked you out once, and that opens the door to worse in the future. Get out IMMEDIATELY. Like YESTERDAY.

This is for the protection of yourself and your child. You may know I work in news. Too many times I see stories of women who don't leave when they should, and the women and children end up dead or otherwise victimized.

Example: http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/sep/25/two-deputies-shot-lakeside/ 

Don't give him time to find your money or to really hurt you.

Quoting Kimbyann:

By working on it I mean saving money

mollysmom328
by Stephanie on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:17 PM

hhmm. . . I'd leave in a heartbeat than stay with an asshole of a husband.  Even if it meant finding a shelter.

Quoting JamieLyn822:

His "rules?" And he actually kicked you out of your home? Why on earth did you marry someone like this? I hope is kinder to your child, but it doesn't sound like it. :(


Quoting Kimbyann:

I cooked dinner and waited for him to get home from work...and waited.... and waited... 4hrs later he comes in saying he didn't call cause I would be upset.

and I live in the 1930s. I dont have a job to pay bills so its his house and his rules. If I tell him where to sleep I'd be outside. Its happened before.

He's one rude SOB. But I'm working on it.




Quoting Amberleigh81:

Wow. If he were my husband, he would (1) have a frying pan impression in his forehead and (2) be sleeping outside because the couch is too good for him!





What in the HELL is he doing going out to a bar all night when y'all have a two week old baby??? Then complaining??? Awww heeeeellll no!





Tillymommie
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow let my DH talk to him! lol. DH goes to school, works FT on night shift, helps me with the house and goes to the gym to work out all while finding time to help me with the kids too. He gets pissy with guys like your DH.

Autumn355
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Me too!!!
Dh is good about taking ds so I can shower or something, but not so good at soothing.
He just says "sorry babe, I dont have the right plumming"
Then he wonders why im too tired to have sex at the end of the day!!


Quoting Lorraine2674:

Funny how nothing seems to really change for the hubby/SO's ... Mammas do all the work and they complain about being neglected but god forbid they help out....

Sorry cant help but I can join in on the rant :-).

HUGS

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
pampire
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:47 PM

I like this idea.  I'm also partial to hitting him with a frying pan.  You can also pump enough milk to last alllllll day, and once you have that much stored away, leave the house so he has no choice but to man up and care for his damn child.

Seriously, if he doesn't wide up do not have more children with him.  You will resent him and your marriage and children will suffer.

Quoting shortyali:

DH did that once. So the next night everytime DD needed to be fed he woke up with me, changed her diaper and I made him stay awake with me while I nursed and put her to bed. It took just 1 night then he stopped complaining about lack of sleep.


MommaBandy
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:18 AM

 I would wake my husband everytime I had to get up with both my kids. Even if he didn't stay awake or get out of bed he knew I was getting up and I'd wake him again when I'd return to bed just because. He also complained about not getting enough sleep and never got up with the kids.

Mitzi31
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:55 AM

I'd make as much noise in the house as possible to make sure he doesn't sleep after that. I'm a very understanding and kind person person BUT I'd refuse that treatment. He helped make the baby. The first 2 weeks after dd was born I was such a hormonal basketcase. I don't see how you have been able to handle that. I'd have caused such a scene, lol.

Good luck to you!

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