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Maternity leave ends today :( Kinda long, sorry but I need help!

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Sorry for the long post but I have to vent: UGH!  I go back to work tomorrow and I'm worried about my mom (caregiver) wasting BM.  She's already done it once, 5 oz. down the drain b/c she "forgot" to put it back in the freezer when I told her she wouldn't need it (before it thawed of course).  I've told her how much to feed A, given her the info about the 1-1.25 oz. per hour rule.  I even told her that when hubs practiced with a bottle a few times, since there will be times he'll be with her instead of my mom, that she only took 3 oz. and anything more she'd spit it up.  Last weekend we had a wedding in Michigan about an hour away and when I called to check on A she told me she took almost 5 oz and was still crying.  AAAH!  When we went to pick her up my mom said she had to change her b/c she spit up a ton and soaked her outfit!  DUH, you gave her TOO much!  She just won't listen to me.  I know I'm only working 2-3 days per week for 4-5 hours at a time but I'm stressed about it already!  I'm also worried about pump output and not being able to keep up. Sorry again about the length, just had to get it off my chest!  Thanks :)

CafeMom Tickers
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Replies (11-18):
ncoates04
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2012 at 11:46 AM
When I went back to work I didn't have a set schedule...when home I fed on demand but when at daycare dd was on a schedule....if dd ate at 930 and I got to the at 1030, I would still nurse her wgen I got to the daycare to "top her off" and then started the 2 hours from then. The first few days she was kinda fussy and they tried to tell me she needed more...I stood my ground and told them no...within the first week she adjusted fully and was a happy playful baby......nurse right before you leave, write down the times she needs fed each day you work and only leave what's needed
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gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 29, 2012 at 12:05 PM

Tia,. if you don't get mom toeing the line then you'll be paying for formula, and that's more pricey than child care. Leave her ONLY enough for the day... in fact, short her a little. It will force her to be more careful. And no, it WILL NOT hurt baby! Baby will make up for it. Tank baby up before you go and baby probably won't need a single drop.

I would start investigating other options though.. churches, neighborhood moms, maybe even an alternate schedule so you or dad are the caregivers if mom cannot be trusted.

luvhubandbabys
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Can u put the milk in bottles. Like if u need 3... 3oz bottles give her that. Then she can just heat them up. That's all she gets for the day so tell her feed a bottle every 3 hrs or so.. (whatever it is). Tell her to keep them in the fridge until baby needs to eat. Don't give her access to extra.
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Tia84201
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 12:30 PM

the problem the first time was that she took the extra from the bottle she needed for the next feeding.  I mean yes, she had too much at hand to begin with bc i ran out of freezer room here and sent it to her house, but i didn't expect her to take from another bottle for a later feeding.  I told her what she takes and she always says that when A's at her house she takes more.  I'm going to talk to her about pacing feedings tomorrow so we won't have this problem.

Quoting luvhubandbabys:

Can u put the milk in bottles. Like if u need 3... 3oz bottles give her that. Then she can just heat them up. That's all she gets for the day so tell her feed a bottle every 3 hrs or so.. (whatever it is). Tell her to keep them in the fridge until baby needs to eat. Don't give her access to extra.


mom2boyz8811
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with what everyone is saying but you may need to have a heart to heart with mom. My mom is my caregiver too. I am so grateful that she does this for me and I don't want to be disrespectful but there are times when we disagree about baby care and I have to say this is how I want to do things. She has never gone against my wishes but I have to be very clear about feeding issues. She did not understand about milk supply and demand, having formula fed me and my sisters. Make sure mom knows how important breastfeeding is to you and that her actions can jeopardize it. Talk to her about why she thinks she needs more milk when she is with her. Help her strategize some other ways to soothe when baby gets fussy. Above all keep communication lines open.
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luvhubandbabys
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 12:59 PM
Well good luck I babysat for a bf baby before and that's what her mom did. Sometimes grandmoms think they know it all also. Id be firm with her about the rules.

Quoting Tia84201:

the problem the first time was that she took the extra from the bottle she needed for the next feeding.  I mean yes, she had too much at hand to begin with bc i ran out of freezer room here and sent it to her house, but i didn't expect her to take from another bottle for a later feeding.  I told her what she takes and she always says that when A's at her house she takes more.  I'm going to talk to her about pacing feedings tomorrow so we won't have this problem.

Quoting luvhubandbabys:

Can u put the milk in bottles. Like if u need 3... 3oz bottles give her that. Then she can just heat them up. That's all she gets for the day so tell her feed a bottle every 3 hrs or so.. (whatever it is). Tell her to keep them in the fridge until baby needs to eat. Don't give her access to extra.


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holly85
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 1:15 PM
I just got used to others not knowing too much and pumped extra so I would always have plenty in the freezer. I don't know howthey act when I am gone so I never said too much about how much they ate. I'm sure your mom is not trying to harm thebaby & she will figure it out.
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melindabelcher
by mel on Oct. 29, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Only send what she needs no more. And leave it in appropiate sized slow flow bottles.
Baby should never get more then 3oz in one sitting.
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