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Help! I want to be successful this time around

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:40 PM
  • 8 Replies

Okay back story first. I had my daughter when I was 21 (I'm now 26) I really wanted to breastfeed, but honestly I didn't know about the amounts of resources out there. When she was born via csection when they brought her to the room after she was done doing the bath stuff etc with dad in nursery and I was out if recovery she immediately latched on. Once the hospital saw that they never said anymore about my breastfeeding. It was like they figured I knew everything about it just because she latched well. The only thing they did keep pressuring me on was to feed her every 2 hours but at 2 hours it was a waste of effort because she seemed to hit about every 3 hours . I followed her cues. I did have colostrum in the hospital and  Once I left the hospital my milk fully came in and things were great for a little while, but soon discovered she was colic. This was stressful. Her dad, my now ex husband was not very supportive when it came to feeding. I didn't know any moms who breastfeed except my sister but it was like she never had issues with it. I kept having issues and I was afraid to seek help but mostly didnt know where to seek help. My supply started drying up at 2 weeks old, I continued to breast feed her exclusively until 3 weeks old when I finally gave her a bottle of formula, it was like I was starving her. I know I wasn't eating the diet I should. I know I didn't need to be trying to pump and feed. I've learned a lot since then but I still feel like I have a lot learn, a lot. I stopped breastfeeding. 

My repeat csection is on Friday, yes day after tomorrow. I desire more than anything to be sucessful at breastfeeding. Thinking about my first daughter makes me feel like I failed her in so many ways. The hospital I am delivery at this time is very pro breastfeeding and they have a lactation consultant that will visit me everyday and as much as I need. I already have her number ands have met with her. I feel much more prepared, but I'd still love any advice anyone has to offer. Just from the basic simplest thing to any tips you might have or wisdom you could share. Anything about day to day what I need to be doing to ensure being successful, diet stuff, water intake, supplements I should take regardless, supplements I might need if I have supply issues. Basically help! 

In advance thanks for reading this long rambling post of me and thanks for any advice you leave me. :)


by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:40 PM
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Replies (1-8):
shortyali
by Alicia on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:54 PM
My only advice is to trust your body to do what it needs to do. It sounds like you have a support system set up now and you can always come here with questions also. Just keep nursing. Know that the more milk removed means more milk produced.
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ljpaszek
by Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:02 PM

That's something else I found I was doing wrong was actually emptying s that more would be produced the nex let down. And yes ai have a much better support system

Quoting shortyali:

My only advice is to trust your body to do what it needs to do. It sounds like you have a support system set up now and you can always come here with questions also. Just keep nursing. Know that the more milk removed means more milk produced.



gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:46 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting ljpaszek:

Okay back story first. I had my daughter when I was 21 (I'm now 26) I really wanted to breastfeed, but honestly I didn't know about the amounts of resources out there.

Not surprising.... there's so much emphasis on baby "stuff" and not on what baby truly cares about... eating! I am personally in favor of barring all pregnant women from Babies R Us till they complete a good care and feeding class. **grin**

When she was born via csection when they brought her to the room after she was done doing the bath stuff etc with dad in nursery and I was out if recovery she immediately latched on. Once the hospital saw that they never said anymore about my breastfeeding. It was like they figured I knew everything about it just because she latched well. The only thing they did keep pressuring me on was to feed her every 2 hours but at 2 hours it was a waste of effort because she seemed to hit about every 3 hours . \

On demand. NO timing at all.

I followed her cues.

Excellent.

I did have colostrum in the hospital and  Once I left the hospital my milk fully came in and things were great for a little while, but soon discovered she was colic.

"Colic" is merely a medical term for "we don't know what's wrong with the baby but we MUST have a medical term." And usually colic symptoms are related to fast legtdown of milk from mom's breast. On kellymom.com you'll find a great article on fast letdown.

This was stressful. Her dad, my now ex husband was not very supportive when it came to feeding. I didn't know any moms who breastfeed except my sister but it was like she never had issues with it. I kept having issues and I was afraid to seek help but mostly didnt know where to seek help. My supply started drying up at 2 weeks old,

What made you think that? The ONLY sign of drying up is a lack of dipes. NOTHING else matters. Nothing at all.

In week one, you change 1 dipe per day of life, and you look for two quarter sized poops per day. In week two, 6-8 changes per day.

Baby will lose about 12% of birthweight in a c-section, and won't regain until you begin the second week. So by two weeks old look for baby to be about 4-6 ounces above lowest weight. Baby MAY be at borth weight, may not be.

I continued to breast feed her exclusively until 3 weeks old when I finally gave her a bottle of formula, it was like I was starving her. I know I wasn't eating the diet I should.

Doesn't matter what you eat as long as it's not arsenic. **grin**

I know I didn't need to be trying to pump and feed. I've learned a lot since then but I still feel like I have a lot learn, a lot. I stopped breastfeeding. 

It happened.

My repeat csection is on Friday, yes day after tomorrow.

Send Dad to the bookstore for a copy of "So That's What They're For" by Janet Tamaro. You can have it finished in a day; it's a fast read. Bookmark this group and kellymom.com. Don't spend another instant worrying about anything but "how to feed" because it's your most important assignment as far as baby is concerned. Dad gets to worry about the rest.

I desire more than anything to be sucessful at breastfeeding. Thinking about my first daughter makes me feel like I failed her in so many ways.

She got ONE DROP... you were a success.

The hospital I am delivery at this time is very pro breastfeeding and they have a lactation consultant that will visit me everyday and as much as I need. I already have her number ands have met with her. I feel much more prepared, but I'd still love any advice anyone has to offer. Just from the basic simplest thing to any tips you might have or wisdom you could share.

Listed above.

Anything about day to day what I need to be doing to ensure being successful,

Nurse on demand. Count dipes.

diet stuff, water intake,

Eat to hunger. Drink to thirst.

supplements I should take regardless,

Prenatal vitamins.

supplements I might need if I have supply issues.

We'll worry about that when you actually HAVE supply issues. You've got enough to be worried about already.

Basically help! 

Relax. Do your reading. And whenever you have a newly pregnant friend, tell her to work on the care and feeding knowledge before ANYTHING else. Baby doesn't care if the nursery is done in Winnie the Pooh or World of Warcraft; baby cares about eating! **smile**

In advance thanks for reading this long rambling post of me and thanks for any advice you leave me. :)

You're going to do fine.


ljpaszek
by Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:01 PM

Thank you, you've eased a lot of my worries and offering some great advice. I will check out the book and Kellymom.  The main thing that made me think I was drying up was like I said I started trying to pump and feed all at once way too soon, I had no need to even be pumping as I was/am a stay at home mom and she never really went with a sitter until she was 3 months old! So what I was pumping or lack there of, plus her weight loss and failure to regain, mixed with colic(me thinking maybe she is hungry and not getting enough). I don't remember there being a diaper issue and no one even mentioned that as a good sign. I know that at about 2 months (already on formula) until she was eating food she had constipation issues, but I don't remember any diaper issues in the first few weeks! Your making me think I gave up too soon, but that also gives me some hope that I can...wait will do it this time. Again thank you so much for the time and effort you spent replying to me.

Quoting gdiamante:


Quoting ljpaszek:

Okay back story first. I had my daughter when I was 21 (I'm now 26) I really wanted to breastfeed, but honestly I didn't know about the amounts of resources out there.

Not surprising.... there's so much emphasis on baby "stuff" and not on what baby truly cares about... eating! I am personally in favor of barring all pregnant women from Babies R Us till they complete a good care and feeding class. **grin**

When she was born via csection when they brought her to the room after she was done doing the bath stuff etc with dad in nursery and I was out if recovery she immediately latched on. Once the hospital saw that they never said anymore about my breastfeeding. It was like they figured I knew everything about it just because she latched well. The only thing they did keep pressuring me on was to feed her every 2 hours but at 2 hours it was a waste of effort because she seemed to hit about every 3 hours . \

On demand. NO timing at all.

I followed her cues.

Excellent.

I did have colostrum in the hospital and  Once I left the hospital my milk fully came in and things were great for a little while, but soon discovered she was colic.

"Colic" is merely a medical term for "we don't know what's wrong with the baby but we MUST have a medical term." And usually colic symptoms are related to fast legtdown of milk from mom's breast. On kellymom.com you'll find a great article on fast letdown.

This was stressful. Her dad, my now ex husband was not very supportive when it came to feeding. I didn't know any moms who breastfeed except my sister but it was like she never had issues with it. I kept having issues and I was afraid to seek help but mostly didnt know where to seek help. My supply started drying up at 2 weeks old,

What made you think that? The ONLY sign of drying up is a lack of dipes. NOTHING else matters. Nothing at all.

In week one, you change 1 dipe per day of life, and you look for two quarter sized poops per day. In week two, 6-8 changes per day.

Baby will lose about 12% of birthweight in a c-section, and won't regain until you begin the second week. So by two weeks old look for baby to be about 4-6 ounces above lowest weight. Baby MAY be at borth weight, may not be.

I continued to breast feed her exclusively until 3 weeks old when I finally gave her a bottle of formula, it was like I was starving her. I know I wasn't eating the diet I should.

Doesn't matter what you eat as long as it's not arsenic. **grin**

I know I didn't need to be trying to pump and feed. I've learned a lot since then but I still feel like I have a lot learn, a lot. I stopped breastfeeding. 

It happened.

My repeat csection is on Friday, yes day after tomorrow.

Send Dad to the bookstore for a copy of "So That's What They're For" by Janet Tamaro. You can have it finished in a day; it's a fast read. Bookmark this group and kellymom.com. Don't spend another instant worrying about anything but "how to feed" because it's your most important assignment as far as baby is concerned. Dad gets to worry about the rest.

I desire more than anything to be sucessful at breastfeeding. Thinking about my first daughter makes me feel like I failed her in so many ways.

She got ONE DROP... you were a success.

The hospital I am delivery at this time is very pro breastfeeding and they have a lactation consultant that will visit me everyday and as much as I need. I already have her number ands have met with her. I feel much more prepared, but I'd still love any advice anyone has to offer. Just from the basic simplest thing to any tips you might have or wisdom you could share.

Listed above.

Anything about day to day what I need to be doing to ensure being successful,

Nurse on demand. Count dipes.

diet stuff, water intake,

Eat to hunger. Drink to thirst.

supplements I should take regardless,

Prenatal vitamins.

supplements I might need if I have supply issues.

We'll worry about that when you actually HAVE supply issues. You've got enough to be worried about already.

Basically help! 

Relax. Do your reading. And whenever you have a newly pregnant friend, tell her to work on the care and feeding knowledge before ANYTHING else. Baby doesn't care if the nursery is done in Winnie the Pooh or World of Warcraft; baby cares about eating! **smile**

In advance thanks for reading this long rambling post of me and thanks for any advice you leave me. :)

You're going to do fine.




gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting ljpaszek:

 The main thing that made me think I was drying up was like I said I started trying to pump and feed all at once way too soon, I had no need to even be pumping as I was/am a stay at home mom and she never really went with a sitter until she was 3 months old! So what I was pumping or lack there of,

Normal pump output is half an ounce to two ounces. But pump output only refelcts your response to the pump, nothing else. There are women who can nurse twins and not get one drop from the pump.

plus her weight loss and failure to regain, mixed with colic(me thinking maybe she is hungry and not getting enough).

Normal newborns are bottomless pits... always seeming hungry!

I don't remember there being a diaper issue and no one even mentioned that as a good sign.

Now you know. **smile**

I know that at about 2 months (already on formula) until she was eating food she had constipation issues, but I don't remember any diaper issues in the first few weeks! Your making me think I gave up too soon, but that also gives me some hope that I can...wait will do it this time. Again thank you so much for the time and effort you spent replying to me.

ljpaszek
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:15 AM
2 moms liked this

Thought I'd share :)! We had some latching issues but worked that out thanks to a really great lactation consultnt and nursing has been sooo great :). I have been so relaxed with doing it :). Thanks for all the supportive words and advice. I hope it continues to go well as she was just born early yesterday morning (via csection as I think I mentioned). My colostrum is great and I'm hoping my milk comes in soon! We should be headed home tomorrow, although my original release wasn't suppose to be until Monday. Thanks again ladies

mckinneymom918
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:17 AM
I also was unsuccessful with my son. i think our biggest downfall was his tongue was a little short, and he wasn't able to get a great latch, anyway I've and have gone on to ebf my 3 month old with the exception of 2 bottles of expressed milk while hubby and I went out.

Have support, not just in your husband, but your mom, your best friend. A few people who you can turn to, because a lot of people see what happened before as "failure". I had several people actually say to my face, "you think it's going to work with her?" I mean really? After what happened with my son, do you really think if I thought I was going to fail I'd skip it all together? Or maybe I just like failure in my life?! Don't let the stupidity of others bring you down.

Kellymom.com is a HUGE wealth of information. Go there first if you have a question, think you have a problem, etc.

What has helped me the most is charting feedings and diapers, even 3 months in, I'm scared she's not getting enough. I've got an app on my phone, and it's always with me, so it's not a huge deal.

What no one stressed to me before was the importance of the number of diapers. I blame myself, but also the drs, because I think formula could have been prevented if I would have known even only that info, and was able to change strategies at the first sign of a problem.

So this time, I walk into delivery (lol!) with info coming out my butt: counting diapers, good latch techniques, etc. and when she's born, she latches right on and haven't turned back.


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ljpaszek
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:05 AM

I completely agree, no one told me about the diaper thing either! It would have been the most reassuring thing they could have said!!! Well I have never and still don't live near family so their opinion doesn't really matter to me (military, he is out now but we didn't move near either of our families, also I don't have a relationship with my mom). Luckily I have had zero negative Nancy's telling me I couldn't do it this time around.  

As far as charting I use my iPhone a lot and I had already found an app to track with before I had her. I've been using it since the first feeding and first diaper and it helps Sooo a much. The hospital for their purposes is also having us track via paper but finding the paper and the pen etc is a hassle compared to entering it in my phone that is always with me anyway.

My confidence is off the charts as today and her night feedings were a really great sucess and I'm just starting to get engorged! I haven't had a fear yet that it isn't enough. We have a great latching and great feeding routine (as in what we do each time, not when we do it) established that I have the confidence I can EB this time. I'm not questioning it now and all the fears I had from my OP seem so silly.

Thank you for the encouragement and advice.I am glad you and your daughter are being so sucessful 3 months out! 

Quoting mckinneymom918:

I also was unsuccessful with my son. i think our biggest downfall was his tongue was a little short, and he wasn't able to get a great latch, anyway I've and have gone on to ebf my 3 month old with the exception of 2 bottles of expressed milk while hubby and I went out.

Have support, not just in your husband, but your mom, your best friend. A few people who you can turn to, because a lot of people see what happened before as "failure". I had several people actually say to my face, "you think it's going to work with her?" I mean really? After what happened with my son, do you really think if I thought I was going to fail I'd skip it all together? Or maybe I just like failure in my life?! Don't let the stupidity of others bring you down.

Kellymom.com is a HUGE wealth of information. Go there first if you have a question, think you have a problem, etc.

What has helped me the most is charting feedings and diapers, even 3 months in, I'm scared she's not getting enough. I've got an app on my phone, and it's always with me, so it's not a huge deal.

What no one stressed to me before was the importance of the number of diapers. I blame myself, but also the drs, because I think formula could have been prevented if I would have known even only that info, and was able to change strategies at the first sign of a problem.

So this time, I walk into delivery (lol!) with info coming out my butt: counting diapers, good latch techniques, etc. and when she's born, she latches right on and haven't turned back.




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