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breastfeeding and visitation....what to do ..long to give u background info!!!

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:11 AM
  • 76 Replies

this is for my daughter and granddaughter .....

some back ground when she found out she was preg he wanted abortion she said no way so he left her tthe only comtact he made through out her preg was to ask her to give baby up for adoption said if vshe didnt he wanted nothing to do with baby well she had her shes 2 weeks today in hospitalhe called her and started throwing out i have rights wnated to see her she said no not till i heal hes been calling texting saying hes getting custody ..she got avisitation letter in mail heres where we r confused is all written out by him but dosent say where he wants vittation when ect how do u respond? also she talked to him last night and said he can come here a visit he said no i want her alone and the same amout oftime u have her she is EXCLUSIVLY BREASTFEEDING she told him he said his moms a nurse and she can have formula while shes there ...absolutly not does she ever want her to have that isint it her right for baby to never have formula or is it rreally what ever court decides and have to give up bf a 2 week old and deal with the after effects of formula everytime he has her ....makes me as a grandmother mad he never was there i was ..now she may have to give up what is so very important to her and baby i have 4 kids and never ever used formula and bf till 3 or 4 .......HELP ANYONE :(

by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
shannonw79
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this
It will need to go in front of a judge. Until it does she doesn't have to send the baby. It would be in her best interest to offer some kind of visitation, even if its there with her so she can feed the baby. Tell her to do it through email or text so she has proof.
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3grls1wildboy
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:23 AM

so how does she respond to visitation papers ??do u go to family court ? theres not even a addres as to whre to send it ..

aimhawk
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:26 AM

She needs to get in contact with someone about custody, a lawyer even. If the visitation form isn't official then she needs to make sure she files immediately for full custody.

Titana
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:38 AM
She needs to speak with a lawyer and file for full custody. She also needs to allow for some type of visitation but on her terms at the moment. Also, file for child support. But first and def ASAP speak with a lawyer.
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fortressmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:58 AM
3 moms liked this

Without a judge's orders, he cannot make demands.  Seeing as she's EBF, they will be short supervised visits most likely.

ForeverInLove
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:06 AM
3 moms liked this
First off, he has no rights right now, unless they are married. He is not on the birth certificate unless he has already been to the hospital and signed forms with your daughter.
Second, make sure what she says for visitation is in writing to him, so that she can show the courts that she tried to give him visitation time, but he refused.
Third,.start collecting literature on why breastfeeding, exclusively, is in the child's best interest. Include rates of formula fed children having illness to breastfed babies. Include stuff about rates in cancer,.and how breastfeeding even lowers a breastfed baby's chance of breast cancer. Include literature on how offering a bottle prior to six weeks can be detrimental to a breastfeeding relationship.
If this all goes to court, she'll have literature to back her reasons, and prevent any overnight stays. I'd also tell the courts that she wants him to take a course ok breastfeeding prior to visitation, so he can learn how to properly handle breast milk, feed a breastfed baby, and learn the benefits.
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3grls1wildboy
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:22 AM

so if he has no rights and is not on bc how how the courts issue visitation what if the babys not his not in this case but if it was can anyone file for visitation we have talked to lawer andhe said if hes already filed then wait that was fri and sat she got temporay visitation papers so is it now to lateto file for ful custody how does that get granted does he have to be an unfit person ...the lawyer said he doesnt usually handle custody bu also said he good at what he does and has alot of resorses but she doest want to be steered in wrong direction and loose custody ...bc we have never delt with custody i feel like im letting her down not knowing where to strt a what to do ....

Quoting ForeverInLove:

First off, he has no rights right now, unless they are married. He is not on the birth certificate unless he has already been to the hospital and signed forms with your daughter.
Second, make sure what she says for visitation is in writing to him, so that she can show the courts that she tried to give him visitation time, but he refused.
Third,.start collecting literature on why breastfeeding, exclusively, is in the child's best interest. Include rates of formula fed children having illness to breastfed babies. Include stuff about rates in cancer,.and how breastfeeding even lowers a breastfed baby's chance of breast cancer. Include literature on how offering a bottle prior to six weeks can be detrimental to a breastfeeding relationship.
If this all goes to court, she'll have literature to back her reasons, and prevent any overnight stays. I'd also tell the courts that she wants him to take a course ok breastfeeding prior to visitation, so he can learn how to properly handle breast milk, feed a breastfed baby, and learn the benefits.


3grls1wildboy
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:24 AM

with this visitation notice she can still file for custody?

Quoting Titana:

She needs to speak with a lawyer and file for full custody. She also needs to allow for some type of visitation but on her terms at the moment. Also, file for child support. But first and def ASAP speak with a lawyer.


gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:29 AM


Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

this is for my daughter and granddaughter .....

some back ground when she found out she was preg he wanted abortion she said no way so he left her tthe only comtact he made through out her preg was to ask her to give baby up for adoption said if vshe didnt he wanted nothing to do with baby

Tough luck dad. You want nothing to do with a baby then get a vasectomy. Or maybe a penisectomy. Is there any written proof of his demands?

well she had her shes 2 weeks today in hospitalhe called her and started throwing out i have rights wnated to see her she said no not till i heal hes been calling texting saying hes getting custody ..

LAWYER UP.

she got avisitation letter in mail heres where we r confused is all written out by him but dosent say where he wants vittation when ect how do u respond?

YOU do not. Your lawyer does. Make NO moves without an attorney.

also she talked to him last night and said he can come here a visit he said no i want her alone and the same amout oftime u have her she is EXCLUSIVLY BREASTFEEDING she told him he said his moms a nurse and she can have formula while shes there ...

Your daughter should not have ANY words with him AT ALL until she has seen an attorney.

absolutly not does she ever want her to have that isint it her right for baby to never have formula or is it rreally what ever court decides and have to give up bf a 2 week old and deal with the after effects of formula everytime he has her ....makes me as a grandmother mad he never was there i was ..now she may have to give up what is so very important to her and baby i have 4 kids and never ever used formula and bf till 3 or 4 .......HELP ANYONE :(

She needs a lawyer. The problem is not the breastfeeding because she can pump for visitation. Although most judges won't give dads overnights with a newborn.

She needs a lawyer NOW.

gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, she can. Did she put his name on the birth certificate? If not, he gets no rights. If she did, then he does have some rights. Especially if he's paying child support.

You NEED to see a lawyer. Seeign one is not an option, it's mandatory or you might have the child taken away.

What letterhead is on the visitation letter? If it's anther lawyer, it has no legal nidning. It must be from a COURT and it will outline everything.

See a lawyer... start looking in the phone book for one NOW or call your bar association or leagal aid society for a referral now. Get in front of an attorney today before the close of business.

Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

with this visitation notice she can still file for custody?

Quoting Titana:

She needs to speak with a lawyer and file for full custody. She also needs to allow for some type of visitation but on her terms at the moment. Also, file for child support. But first and def ASAP speak with a lawyer.



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