confession

[amesstobemade]

I have a confession.... I absolutely HATE getting on here and seeing people bitch about their MIL... or this family member or that family member! But now I completely understand why they do it. I was in their shoes yesterday when my MIL told me when my baby is crying at age 3mo she will check in my diaper bag to see what food I sent for her!! Mind you I am not due until May. Then she went on to say that sometimes a mothers milk is just no good. Its bad. I damn near died!! This lady is suppose to babysit for me when I go back to work. While I think she will respect my wishes... it scares me to death to think she might not, if that's her mind set about baby food that early and breast milk can be bad! OMGGGG

[mama-smurf]

Sorry girl. I know how you feel. My bfs grandma is same way. Has me afraid to go back to work or anything.

[melindabelcher]

Yikes with a mindset like that i'd be shocked if she followed your wishes

[ruby_jewel_04]

If that is how she thinks I can bet money that she won't follow your wishes at all. You might want to start looking for someone else to baby sit.

[MommyO2-6631]

You need to sit down and have a serious talk to with her about what your wishes will be and if she can follow them to a "t". If not you will have to look for another baby sitter. Don't tell her that until you decide if baby can be left with her or she may lie just to get more grandbaby time

*edited to say:
Also tell her that ebf baby stool is cery distinctive and you will be able to tell of she is given something she was not supposed to have (like formula or table foods)

[amesstobemade]

I will def. be talking to her and I am so glad ebf baby's stools are  very distinctive. That might be my only saving grace. & like others.. she is a free babysitter... but it won't be worth it if she doesnt follow my direction.

[mostlymaydays]

You might need to lay it out for her like its straight from the doctor orders. Like "My doctor has advised no more than 2-3 ounces in a 2 hour time period", "the doctor was very adamant: no solids of any type before 6 months", etc to respect your wishes. These types will usually turn their noses up at pages and pages of research, so keep it simple but back yourself up as needed. If she comes at you with another opinion, respectfully tell her to print you up some research and you'll read it.

Solid foods was the biggest issue I had with my inlaws. They were dying to feed the baby "real food". The very day I told them my one baby had some applesauce my FIL wanted to give the baby some spareribs and mashed potatoes in a restaurant. When my son was older and I was trying to get him to finish an apple before they gave him chips, my FIL asked me if I was just doing "health food". It was an apple, not some flax granola wheat grass smoothie.

[maggiemom2000]

When you set ground rules with MIL one thing that often works well is to use baby's doctor as an excuse. Look at the AAP guidelines, and consider that your baby's doctor. Example:

"baby's doctor says it is very important that baby has nothing but breastmilk for the first 6 months. No water, no foods, only breastmilk."

The good news is you have some time to gradually slip in some information to MIL. Acting surprised is another good way, "Wow, I was surprised to learn that breastfed babies only need 1-1.25 ounces of breastmilk for every hour I'm at work. Breastmilk so perfectly meets babies needs that they need less if it than formula babies need, and it never increases as baby gets bigger! Isn't that amazing MIL?!"

[stargaze281]

hi, I think you should explain to her face to face your rules have to respected. You are the momma so you are in charge, not her. So if she cant respect your wishes that you will find someone else. Because at this time in your life you dont need criticism you need support. Try it.

[MamaDee83]

*giant facepalm* Well, I guess it's time to make sure that she knows if you suspect she has been feeding the baby food behind your back (you will know by the diapers - baby poop smells HORRIBLE once they start eating solids or have formula, especially if you are used to the breastmilk poops!), she will start seeing her grandchild less. Not her baby, yours, and there is so much information out there now about how mother's milk is GREAT!

[mostlymaydays]

Yes, telling her with the approach like just learned it too very much diffuses her potential defensiveness, the "your way versus her way" feeling she might feel. ;-)

Quoting maggiemom2000:

When you set ground rules with MIL one thing that often works well is to use baby's doctor as an excuse. Look at the AAP guidelines, and consider that your baby's doctor. Example:

"baby's doctor says it is very important that baby has nothing but breastmilk for the first 6 months. No water, no foods, only breastmilk."

The good news is you have some time to gradually slip in some information to MIL. Acting surprised is another good way, "Wow, I was surprised to learn that breastfed babies only need 1-1.25 ounces of breastmilk for every hour I'm at work. Breastmilk so perfectly meets babies needs that they need less if it than formula babies need, and it never increases as baby gets bigger! Isn't that amazing MIL?!"