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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Sooo frustrating!

Posted by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:14 AM
  • 22 Replies
1 mom liked this
To hear my MIL say everyday that my daughter isn't getting enough of my milk, only because she's 7 weeks old and cries all the time. Shut the hell up. She's growing and stupid comments like those don't help me (or her). She hit an all time low this morning when she told me that my breast milk doesn't have enough nutrients, or else she would not want to eat so much. She has a great diaper count.

I can't say shit, either. I have to be the good little girl and keep my mouth closed, because *I* didn't have four kids. *I* didn't breastfeed two of four kids (for only two months), and *I* don't know shit about raising kids. This isn't my first rodeo, bitch. My 2 year old son seems to be perfectly healthy, and I didn't need her help to raise him.
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by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:23 AM
*sigh*. So she would prefer you overfed the baby into a deep formula coma? 7 weeks is still pretty rough, all the supply and demand stuff still working out as baby hits those lively growth spurts, about exactly what you're describing.

She sounds toxic, undermining and sabotaging. If you can't say anything to her, can you avoid her, for like, the next couple years?
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mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:26 AM
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It doesn't matter if she had a dozen kids, this is YOUR KID and YOU are the mother now and all of these decisions are yours to make.

Unless your baby has dry diapers, you ARE making enough milk. And the nutrition is perfect, too.
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Octobermom2012
by Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:36 AM

Omg that is frustrating! I would want my husband to say something to her, especially since she's putting you down. Otherwise, she'll keep doing it. If he doesnt, I think its perfectly ok to tell her to back off in a nice way. 

aydensXmommy
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:40 AM
She had already pressured me to break down and formula feed. I felt so horrible for doing it, but at that point in time, we had had no power for 3 days, and waking up to a freezing cold house with just as cold nipples... I was in tears trying to feed her, so at that point, she had to eat somehow. I only pump for the day, so I don't store anything. Now, if she doesn't have a bottle, MIL keeps on about how unpleasant my daughter is to be around because she cries all the time. I keep trying to tell her she's not as bad as she thinks, that she IS going through a growth spurt, but there again, I don't know anything. I am continuing to assortment, but she will only have one 2 oz bottle at NIGHT because she sleeps better. And *I* feed her before then.

And yes, my MIL is a vile woman. I love her, but I can't stand her most of the time. She just lost her job, too, so that beautiful break I had from during day? Gone. Hubby and I can't move out until we either find someone to move in with us, or we hit the lottery anytime soon. It'll happen eventually, but he hasn't had this job very long.


Quoting mostlymaydays:

*sigh*. So she would prefer you overfed the baby into a deep formula coma? 7 weeks is still pretty rough, all the supply and demand stuff still working out as baby hits those lively growth spurts, about exactly what you're describing.



She sounds toxic, undermining and sabotaging. If you can't say anything to her, can you avoid her, for like, the next couple years?
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aydensXmommy
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:42 AM
Lucky him, he's not here to deal with it. He's an over the road trucker, and he doesn't talk to his mom, even when he is home. She is one if those people that the more that is said to her, the worse of a person she is towards me.

Quoting Octobermom2012:

Omg that is frustrating! I would want my husband to say something to her, especially since she's putting you down. Otherwise, she'll keep doing it. If he doesnt, I think its perfectly ok to tell her to back off in a nice way. 

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mamabens
by Miranda on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:45 AM

Uh, I would NOT be the good little girl & my mil knows it. I do not keep my mouth shut. She'd know real quick to shut up. I'm sorry she's being that way....

 BabyFruit Ticker


mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:55 AM
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Ugh. I can tell you that I would very much resent my husband for leaving me with her like that, especially when he won't/can't tell her she needs to respect your parenting. It would be very difficult for me to maintain the marriage with those boundary and respect violations.

I love my MIL. she thinks everything we do is crazy but she never questions me and follows my rules with my kids. But I could NEVER live with her. You can't find a cheap 2br apartment or house to rent? I know my marriage and sanity would not survive your situation.


Quoting aydensXmommy:

She had already pressured me to break down and formula feed. I felt so horrible for doing it, but at that point in time, we had had no power for 3 days, and waking up to a freezing cold house with just as cold nipples... I was in tears trying to feed her, so at that point, she had to eat somehow. I only pump for the day, so I don't store anything. Now, if she doesn't have a bottle, MIL keeps on about how unpleasant my daughter is to be around because she cries all the time. I keep trying to tell her she's not as bad as she thinks, that she IS going through a growth spurt, but there again, I don't know anything. I am continuing to assortment, but she will only have one 2 oz bottle at NIGHT because she sleeps better. And *I* feed her before then.



And yes, my MIL is a vile woman. I love her, but I can't stand her most of the time. She just lost her job, too, so that beautiful break I had from during day? Gone. Hubby and I can't move out until we either find someone to move in with us, or we hit the lottery anytime soon. It'll happen eventually, but he hasn't had this job very long.




Quoting mostlymaydays:

*sigh*. So she would prefer you overfed the baby into a deep formula coma? 7 weeks is still pretty rough, all the supply and demand stuff still working out as baby hits those lively growth spurts, about exactly what you're describing.





She sounds toxic, undermining and sabotaging. If you can't say anything to her, can you avoid her, for like, the next couple years?
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mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:00 PM
But back to the crying baby, has she always been high needs, or is this new behavior? How are her diapers, how is her gain? Second babies often seem to be more difficult.

Have you tried weaning the baby in a sling? How is your hungry baby or crying baby anything her HER to complain about while you are there meeting the baby's needs?
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aydensXmommy
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:23 PM
She's always been fussy, so definitely nothing new. Around 3 weeks it became so hard to deal with her and my son, because she was definitely going through a growth spurt. I am pretty sure she's going through another one, since she's almost 8 weeks. Her diaper count is beautiful. I don't like waking her when she is asleep to change her, so sometimes she'll have two soaked dipes a day, her poop is runny and a nice yellow shade. I did not get to BF my son, so this is a whole new experience for me, but I wish she wouldn't act as though I'm stupid. I do research,I know what I'm looking for to catch if she isn't getting what she needs.



And she's just like my son with weight gain - slow. She was 8.3 lbs at birth, and dropped to 7.3 at one week. At her two week weight check, she was 7.9 lbs. When she was almost six weeks, I had to take her to the hospital, and even after her being sick for nearly two weeks, she was at 8.4 lbs. She doesn't have baggy skin and she isn't acting lethargic or anything, so I know she's ok with her weight. She's just a tall, tiny baby, so her weight gain isn't as significant than if she were a couple inches shorter (she was 22" at birth).

I have been trying to find a sling or wrap, but don't have the money I would like to spend on one right now. Where should I look to find a cheap sling, because I can't find them anywhere.

Oh, and I just made a new pediatrician switch, too. Their pediatrician want very supportive if BF'ing, and that's important knowing her doctor had my back on my choices.


Quoting mostlymaydays:

But back to the crying baby, has she always been high needs, or is this new behavior? How are her diapers, how is her gain? Second babies often seem to be more difficult.





Have you tried weaning the baby in a sling? How is your hungry baby or crying baby anything her HER to complain about while you are there meeting the baby's needs?
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gsdlover
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:24 PM

The crying all the time thing means NOTHING!!  My 6 week old never stops crying and he has gained 3 1/2 lbs, and 3 1/4 inches since birth.  Not to mention he sometimes exceeds 12 diapers a day a they ALL have poop in them.  His doctor said she wasn't even going to bother asking how often he eats since he is CLEARLY doing fine.  Crying is most certainly not an indicator of breastmilk amount/quality.

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