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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Don't make the mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding.

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM
  • 75 Replies
1 mom liked this

"One of the most powerful arguments many health professionals, government agencies and formula company manufacturers make for not promoting and supporting breastfeeding is that we should "not make the mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding". Even some strong breastfeeding advocates are disarmed by this "not making mothers feel guilty" ploy.

It is, in fact, nothing more than a ploy. It is an argument that deflects attention from the lack of knowledge and understanding of too many health professionals about breastfeeding. This allows them not to feel guilty for their ignorance of how to help women overcome difficulties with breastfeeding, which could have been overcome and usually could have been prevented in the first place if mothers were not so undermined in their attempts to breastfeed..."

from: http://kellymom.com/bf/advocacy/bf_and_guilt_01-00/

 

Do you agree?  Have you experienced this?

 

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mckinneymom918
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:14 PM
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I don't think anyone should ever feel guilty for lack of knowledge, especially by someone else. No matter what. Even when knowledge is gained, knowing you could have done something different, you didn't know you could have or should have, etc- a mom is usually hard enough on herself when she learns something could have been different/better with their child.
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doulala
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:16 PM

I know that I feel badly when I don't offer the best (healthiest, safest) when I have it readily available to me (esp for free).     I would feel very guilty if I didn't give breastmilk to my children!

briebaby123
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:16 PM
3 moms liked this

I feel horrible for those mothers...and I feel kind've guilty, but I judge them for not even attempting to nurse!!

eagerforbaby
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:16 PM
3 moms liked this
Sometimes ff moms will say even when you just acknowledge that breast is best that you are judging bashing or trying to guilt them. I think they themselves feel the guilt, so they lash out. I was forced by the nicu to supplement with formula. I knew it wasn't what was best for my baby, and still to this day feel guilt when I think about it, and it's been months since she's had a drop of formula. I also think the only way for bfing rates to improve is for drs to be honest about the benefits of breast feeding, without worrying about hurting feelings. My ob told me I need to lose weight, it wasn't pleasant to hear, but he's my dr and its his job to give me advice to make me as healthy as possible.
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eatyourveges
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:20 PM
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I had to switch to formula for my oldest when he was three months because I literally dried up overnight from stress. I still feel guilty about it.

I think we should advocate breast feeding but there is no need to make moms feel guilty, we all do that enough to ourselves without anybody else's help, kwim?


Quoting eagerforbaby:

Sometimes ff moms will say even when you just acknowledge that breast is best that you are judging bashing or trying to guilt them. I think they themselves feel the guilt, so they lash out. I was forced by the nicu to supplement with formula. I knew it wasn't what was best for my baby, and still to this day feel guilt when I think about it, and it's been months since she's had a drop of formula. I also think the only way for bfing rates to improve is for drs to be honest about the benefits of breast feeding, without worrying about hurting feelings. My ob told me I need to lose weight, it wasn't pleasant to hear, but he's my dr and its his job to give me advice to make me as healthy as possible.

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AutymsMommy
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with that mothers should not be guilted into breastfeeding. I'm not sure I want anyone doing anything regarding children, purely out of guilt. Recipe for eventual disaster.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














annaica
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree some people are extremely sensitive when any breastfeeding information is shared.  I do not know why exactly per person's experience but I think it's perfectly acceptable to give correct information without worrying about feelings being hurt.

Quoting eagerforbaby:

Sometimes ff moms will say even when you just acknowledge that breast is best that you are judging bashing or trying to guilt them. I think they themselves feel the guilt, so they lash out. I was forced by the nicu to supplement with formula. I knew it wasn't what was best for my baby, and still to this day feel guilt when I think about it, and it's been months since she's had a drop of formula. I also think the only way for bfing rates to improve is for drs to be honest about the benefits of breast feeding, without worrying about hurting feelings. My ob told me I need to lose weight, it wasn't pleasant to hear, but he's my dr and its his job to give me advice to make me as healthy as possible.

 

lifeforchrist
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:25 PM
2 moms liked this

I think they feel guilty all on their own. It seems like when you present proof that formula has dangers, and breast is best they want to defend it to the death. I think formula moms should change their attitutde. No one's making you feel guilty, if you chose formula you chose a worse product than breastmilk. It's just a fact.

eagerforbaby
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:25 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree and would never judge a mom or make them feel guilty. My point is a lot of the time the guilt comes from the ff mom, and they may take information the wrong way and feel judged when it was not the intent. On CM I have seen bf moms bash ff moms (not really in here) I wouldn't ever do that.


Quoting eatyourveges:

I had to switch to formula for my oldest when he was three months because I literally dried up overnight from stress. I still feel guilty about it.



I think we should advocate breast feeding but there is no need to make moms feel guilty, we all do that enough to ourselves without anybody else's help, kwim?




Quoting eagerforbaby:

Sometimes ff moms will say even when you just acknowledge that breast is best that you are judging bashing or trying to guilt them. I think they themselves feel the guilt, so they lash out. I was forced by the nicu to supplement with formula. I knew it wasn't what was best for my baby, and still to this day feel guilt when I think about it, and it's been months since she's had a drop of formula. I also think the only way for bfing rates to improve is for drs to be honest about the benefits of breast feeding, without worrying about hurting feelings. My ob told me I need to lose weight, it wasn't pleasant to hear, but he's my dr and its his job to give me advice to make me as healthy as possible.


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Sunflower_rn
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I have to say I have been on the judged end, when I had my first child I was 16 and I was not comfortable breast feeding. there is so much stress and confusion for a young mom, so much to learn and understand and without great support you just do what you can that is best. now 16 years later and as a pediatric nurse I understand the importance of breast feeding, etc and I breastfed my 5 week old, no problem. but back then the medical professionals and everyone were pressuring me and yes judging me as an ignorant young mother, and that is not okay. a mother has to do what she is comfortable doing to succeed and providing the best for her child. my 16 year old son is fine, no allergies, healthy as can be so not breast feeding him did not cause any negative effect on him. hope that doesn't piss people off but just try to look from someone else's perspective. I know from the trials and tribulations I have faced trying to learn to bf my newest addition I could have never when I was 16, it was already stressful enough. I know teen moms who do and are successful, but again it is an individual thing. k that's my two cents lol

ok let me say unless breast feeding would have prevented the 16 year old from being annoying trying to wake his baby sister and the fact that he talks all the time :/ 

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