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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Jealousy issues

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:07 PM
  • 16 Replies
Do you think that your kids (if you have more than one) experience jealousy or can experience jealousy if you breastfeed you second child longer than your first? That is probably my biggest concern with nursing my youngest full term, since I only nursed my first for 8 months. I'm worried that when they get older my oldest may think I love his brother more or something like that. Silly I know but it's something that I think about. Am I the only one?
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:30 PM

NOPE, I BF my oldest 12 weeks, next 5 weeks then my 3rd for 3 years 6 months and am still nursing at 2 years 9 months, my older kids know why they werent Bf as long and are extremely pro BFing now.  NO jealousy

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:31 PM
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I always tell my kids when I knew better I did better..

Thoughtfulmommy
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:33 PM
I also breastfed my first for 8 months and I plan on going a full year with my daughter. I really haven't thought about one thinking I loved the other more. As long as you show them both that you love them on a daily basis, I don't think either will care. If it does come up in the future, you could explain why you bf them for different amounts of time. Also, I think kids are a little wierded out by the thought that they breastfed when hey were babies, lol, so by the time they realize how natural and healthy it is, I am sure you will have figured out the best way to discuss it if need be.
BennyBaby09
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:40 PM
Well my oldest is only 4 but he knows he was breastfed as a baby. We have talked about it and he sees me nurse my youngest. I know there is no jealousy now over breastfeeding because the concept of time (months, years) is still a little hard for him to grasp. I guess I just worry he will think I didn't love him as much as his brother who will nurse much longer than he did. Perhaps I am just over thinking things lol.
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melindabelcher
by mel on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:46 PM
My first I didnt bf second still nursing 38mo. Third 10mo+.
It's no biggie. bf doesnt determine how much I love my kids :)
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mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM
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My kids are all about 3 years apart so the older one had moved on and they weren't competing over the same resources. The jealousy and fighting starts when the younger one starts grabbing the older ones' TOYS, but the milk has nothing to do with that. 


Kids have no realistic understanding of "time". You can nurse for 8 months or 3 years and one time frame doesn't feel more substantial to them than the other. And if years down the road they ask questions, just explain that you did your very best with each of them with the tools and information you had at the time and learned and improved and changed with each one. There is no way to raise each one exactly the same. Each of them thinks the others have it better.

PolishMamma2
by Marta on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:15 PM

 No your not the only one, If I could go back 6 years ago when my DD was born I would do things diff 100 times over. But its all learning experiences. I think the only time they truely get jealous is when you have to stop nursing one to nurse the other, like forsed weaning because of a new baby. If that ever happends to me I will just Tandem nurse, that way it will ease jealousy.

PolishMamma2
by Marta on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM

      Maya Angelo.... I love that quote, have it up on my fridge!

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

I always tell my kids when I knew better I did better..

 

aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:36 PM
Exactly!

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

I always tell my kids when I knew better I did better..

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Gruntlings
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:55 PM

Every kid breastfeeds for a different amount of time. My middle child breastfed for less time than my oldest did. They don't really have to know how long you breastfed each for unless they ask when they're older. And you can always tell them that you learned more between your first and your second and that is how things work. That there are some benefits and some trade-offs to being the first, the second, etc. And that it doesn't mean you love one of them more than the other.

-Sarah
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Sarah is a mom to three and a moderator in the "Breastfeeding Moms" group. She runs Nurshable.com where she blogs about finding joy in gentle parenting.


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