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o man i hate offending people (off topic)

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Posted a status on facebook saying " to all my pregnant facebook friends that are having boys, please consider not circumcising him. Please do the research before you decide'
Well my cousin called me all upset thinking i was judging her because her lil man is cut. He had a med reason for it and i dont judge anyone for there personal choices. I just want to make people look into it before just doing it. :(
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:18 AM
Replies (21-30):
Proud2BWeird
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:28 AM
I just didn't want people figuring it doesn't matter if they have this done to their child because "he can have it undone"!




Quoting Mrsfarr:

That's why "repaired" is in quotes.

I'm sure science has a way to replace the nerve endings but the last surgery my husband had on his penis didn't end so well (humor!) so we probably won't look into that.



Thank you for your kind thoughts.




Quoting Proud2BWeird:

No, circumcision can NOT be undone. Restoration can help provide protection for the glans, but the 20,000 nerve endings removed through circumcision will NEVER be regained.





I hope your husband's restoration is as successful as possible.






Quoting Mrsfarr:

Just wanted to say this part:







2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably







Is inaccurate in the definition as circumcision can be "repaired" it's called foreskin restoration. My husband does it because we both hate that babies are needlessly cut for mostly aesthetic reasons. And his circumcision left him without much sensation; restoration fixes that.







The end.








Quoting SaraSnider:

I try not to word things to where she would get upset but i she is a little sensitive right now. I didn't think she would even think bad about something she did 16months ago.









I use mutilate just because it best word choice for the surgery I'm my eyes. I know that it might make people upset but reading the true definition of the word it fit, im sorry it you got offended. I know everyone has there reasons for doing it, i just hope everyone that does it did look into it first.









mu·ti·late (my t l- t ) tr.v. mu·ti·lat·ed, mu·ti·lat·ing, mu·ti·lates 1. To deprive of a limb or an essential part; cripple. 2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably: mutilate a statue. See Synonyms at batter 1 . 3. To make imperfect by excising or altering parts.










Quoting AngryBob:

i didn't find your status to be offensive at all, and i circumcised my first, and i'm going to circ my second. however, when you use the word MUTILATE (once again, i realize you didn't use it in your status, and it wasn't offensive), how exactly do you expect people to react?

as far as your sil goes, sounds like she wanted to keep him uncut, but wasn't able to, like when a mom wants to bf, and can't, and feels guilty. people use fb all the time to post passive/aggressive statuses, and she may have thought you were targeting her. just reassure her that you don't judge her, that you applaud her efforts in being the best mom she can be, and that you love her. if no one else contacted you feeling offended, then i'd say she was just feeling guilty. i bet you had an informative discussion on fb. hopefully no one started an argument.






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Mrsfarr
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Oh, I didn't even see it that way! (sudden clarity exclaimation, not anger exclaimation)

I'm all over here just going on about the benefits of restoration not even realizing that. I'm just used to talking to people who have sensitivity issues and suggesting to try it to regain some intimacy.


Quoting Proud2BWeird:

I just didn't want people figuring it doesn't matter if they have this done to their child because "he can have it undone"!








Quoting Mrsfarr:

That's why "repaired" is in quotes.


I'm sure science has a way to replace the nerve endings but the last surgery my husband had on his penis didn't end so well (humor!) so we probably won't look into that.





Thank you for your kind thoughts.






Quoting Proud2BWeird:

No, circumcision can NOT be undone. Restoration can help provide protection for the glans, but the 20,000 nerve endings removed through circumcision will NEVER be regained.







I hope your husband's restoration is as successful as possible.








Quoting Mrsfarr:

Just wanted to say this part:









2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably









Is inaccurate in the definition as circumcision can be "repaired" it's called foreskin restoration. My husband does it because we both hate that babies are needlessly cut for mostly aesthetic reasons. And his circumcision left him without much sensation; restoration fixes that.









The end.










Quoting SaraSnider:

I try not to word things to where she would get upset but i she is a little sensitive right now. I didn't think she would even think bad about something she did 16months ago.











I use mutilate just because it best word choice for the surgery I'm my eyes. I know that it might make people upset but reading the true definition of the word it fit, im sorry it you got offended. I know everyone has there reasons for doing it, i just hope everyone that does it did look into it first.











mu·ti·late (my t l- t ) tr.v. mu·ti·lat·ed, mu·ti·lat·ing, mu·ti·lates 1. To deprive of a limb or an essential part; cripple. 2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably: mutilate a statue. See Synonyms at batter 1 . 3. To make imperfect by excising or altering parts.












Quoting AngryBob:

i didn't find your status to be offensive at all, and i circumcised my first, and i'm going to circ my second. however, when you use the word MUTILATE (once again, i realize you didn't use it in your status, and it wasn't offensive), how exactly do you expect people to react?

as far as your sil goes, sounds like she wanted to keep him uncut, but wasn't able to, like when a mom wants to bf, and can't, and feels guilty. people use fb all the time to post passive/aggressive statuses, and she may have thought you were targeting her. just reassure her that you don't judge her, that you applaud her efforts in being the best mom she can be, and that you love her. if no one else contacted you feeling offended, then i'd say she was just feeling guilty. i bet you had an informative discussion on fb. hopefully no one started an argument.







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momalee40
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:27 PM
No offense taken, I also watched a procedure. Poor little guy was strapped down naked to a board, arms and legs spread out , he was cold and obviously scared and screaming his little head off ! I cried with him. Made me sick just like the first time i held a puppy for a tail docking at the Vet i worked for. Its just not necessary to put a child through that !
SaraSnider
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:21 PM
I guess her and dh was in it a bit so she was having a bad night.
I just think a penis is perfect the way it comes.. Seeing that why i use mutilate (3)


Quoting AngryBob:




Quoting SaraSnider:

I try not to word things to where she would get upset but i she is a little sensitive right now. I didn't think she would even think bad about something she did 16months ago.



I use mutilate just because it best word choice for the surgery I'm my eyes. I know that it might make people upset but reading the true definition of the word it fit, im sorry it you got offended. I know everyone has there reasons for doing it, i just hope everyone that does it did look into it first.



mu·ti·late (my t l- t ) tr.v. mu·ti·lat·ed, mu·ti·lat·ing, mu·ti·lates 1. To deprive of a limb or an essential part; cripple. 2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably: mutilate a statue. See Synonyms at batter 1 . 3. To make imperfect by excising or altering parts.


Quoting AngryBob:

me personally? very little offends me. but i do recognize when things CAN be offensive, which is why i pointed it out. you didn't offend me in the least. i've heard much worse on this site alone lol ;)

i know women who have had babies years previously, yet still held guilt over things they perceive as mistakes, such as allowing a doctor to pressure them into an induction or c-section, or formula feeding. years! and they are still guilty. sixteen months is no time at all. her son is still a baby, she gave birth to him yesterday, in her eyes.

i think most people would disagree with your definition. the word mutilate has a negative stigma attached to it. you use it when you horribly disfigure a limb. circ'ing isn't depriving the penis of "and essential part" or "crippling", or even "making imperfect". it is strictly used for shock value. after circumcision, a penis is still perfectly capable of performing its natural functions (unless a doctor really fucked up - that's a mutilation! meat grinder, anyone?) but we're talking semantics, and that's not really important, so moving on.

point is, from her perspective, you held a big red sign pointed at her, and told her YOU HORRIBLY DISFIGURED YOUR INNOCENT, PERFECT SON!!!!! who knows, she could have been extremely hormonal that day, or had just gotten into a fight with her dh, or some old lady at the store gave her a dirty look, i don't know. i'm just saying that she could have gotten offended. are you doing a good thing by trying to educate the masses? absolutely. and you weren't even talking to her! you're clearly addressing pregnant women (unless she's pregnant, then i've screwed up again lol.)

sometimes we forget what we are saying can be taken in a harsher light than we intended. we forget that moms that are chopping pieces of their sons' genetalia are real people, too, with real feelings, not impassive, unfeeling depraved souls. we're all moms, trying to be the best we can be. if she WASN'T offended (or feeling guilty), i'd wonder what else she lets slip by her notice without caring.

like i said before, if she was the only one offended, it's just because her circumstance is different, and she took it the wrong way. being on the other side of the penis-chopping debate, i see nothing wrong with your status at all. if no one else got offended, then you did it right. hugs to your sil.


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SaraSnider
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:25 PM
But he cant get the nerves back, so it wont but the same as if he was never cut


Quoting Mrsfarr:

Just wanted to say this part:



2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably



Is inaccurate in the definition as circumcision can be "repaired" it's called foreskin restoration. My husband does it because we both hate that babies are needlessly cut for mostly aesthetic reasons. And his circumcision left him without much sensation; restoration fixes that.



The end.




Quoting SaraSnider:

I try not to word things to where she would get upset but i she is a little sensitive right now. I didn't think she would even think bad about something she did 16months ago.





I use mutilate just because it best word choice for the surgery I'm my eyes. I know that it might make people upset but reading the true definition of the word it fit, im sorry it you got offended. I know everyone has there reasons for doing it, i just hope everyone that does it did look into it first.





mu·ti·late (my t l- t ) tr.v. mu·ti·lat·ed, mu·ti·lat·ing, mu·ti·lates 1. To deprive of a limb or an essential part; cripple. 2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably: mutilate a statue. See Synonyms at batter 1 . 3. To make imperfect by excising or altering parts.






Quoting AngryBob:

i didn't find your status to be offensive at all, and i circumcised my first, and i'm going to circ my second. however, when you use the word MUTILATE (once again, i realize you didn't use it in your status, and it wasn't offensive), how exactly do you expect people to react?

as far as your sil goes, sounds like she wanted to keep him uncut, but wasn't able to, like when a mom wants to bf, and can't, and feels guilty. people use fb all the time to post passive/aggressive statuses, and she may have thought you were targeting her. just reassure her that you don't judge her, that you applaud her efforts in being the best mom she can be, and that you love her. if no one else contacted you feeling offended, then i'd say she was just feeling guilty. i bet you had an informative discussion on fb. hopefully no one started an argument.




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SaraSnider
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:27 PM
I didn't have my son cut either. If when he is 18 he wants to then fine his choice.


Quoting momalee40:

I worked in l& d for 2 yrs as a secretary but could hear babies crying when they were doing a circumcision. I knew it was a diff cry than just uncomfortable. My son was not done and his dad agreed as he wasnt either and he has had no problems, he is 15 now. Some argue that they wont remember it and its easier to do it when they are babies, i think having a part of your body removed surgically should be a decision you make when you are older. Its their body, shiuld be their choice,( isnt that the same argument pro choice gives for abortion? )

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SaraSnider
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I just wish she didn't think i was pointing it at her. I so wasn't i have like 3 pregnant girls on fb that don't know what they are having yet. I hope my status can help make them look it up.


Quoting mamabens:

If SHE was offended that's on HER. You present your opinion & you did it more tactfully than many I see so if she was offended that is her problem.


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SaraSnider
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:33 PM
Ya but she still sounded a bit upset at me.


Quoting IansMommy2012:

Awe that sucks :( did you talk to her and say that's not how you ment it? :(( I feel the same. I hate accidently offending it just ruins your day :/

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SaraSnider
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:36 PM
Love how you put this!


Quoting Proud2BWeird:

Of course it's not just discomfort, it's agony!







*momalee, note this isn't directed at you*







Imagine someone giving you a lollipop, and then proceeding to rip off your fingernail. Would that be uncomfortable, or incredibly painful?







Now let's say they use an injected anesthetic, but only numbs one side of your fingertip. Does anyone imagine that would be much better?







At birth the foreskin is adhered to the glans just the way your fingernail is adhered to your fingertip.







Most doctors admit to using no anaesthetic when performing circumcisions.







The doctors that do use anaesthetic don't wait for the anaesthetic to take full effect (about 20-30 minutes) to proceed.







The anaesthetic that is used, if any, is the dorsal penile block. This, as it's name implies, only numbs the dorsum (back) of the penis.







Nurses are instructed to tell parents that their son "slept right through it", even if the baby screamed the entire time.







Studies show that when a baby appears to be asleep during the procedure, they've actually retreated into themselves- a form of shock. Their little brains are trying to escape from the torture they're being forced to endure.







We all love our children, and need to know the facts about anything we choose for them. I am dismayed by the number of parents who won't do the research, or only look at what supports their decision.





This is serious, unnecessary, cosmetic surgery that removes a healthy body part.









Quoting momalee40:

I worked in l& d for 2 yrs as a secretary but could hear babies crying when they were doing a circumcision. I knew it was a diff cry than just uncomfortable. My son was not done and his dad agreed as he wasnt either and he has had no problems, he is 15 now. Some argue that they wont remember it and its easier to do it when they are babies, i think having a part of your body removed surgically should be a decision you make when you are older. Its their body, shiuld be their choice,( isnt that the same argument pro choice gives for abortion? )



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SaraSnider
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:40 PM
Ya i have watched 2 videos and they made me sick. I had to turn the sound off. As for the puppies i bet that was hard to handle.


Quoting momalee40:

No offense taken, I also watched a procedure. Poor little guy was strapped down naked to a board, arms and legs spread out , he was cold and obviously scared and screaming his little head off ! I cried with him. Made me sick just like the first time i held a puppy for a tail docking at the Vet i worked for. Its just not necessary to put a child through that !

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