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SIL Good New/Bad News (Edit)

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SIL had a c-section (said her 36 week exam hurt too much and she was too swollen to birth normally) two days ago. Because of the c-section baby boy had fluid in his lungs and they kept him on oxygen in an incubator for over 12 hours. They also gave formula because of "low blood sugar." Good news is that the first feeding apparently went well. Last time I talked to her she said that she planned on only BF until 6 weeks. I hope it works out for her. It saddens me that she has so much faith in the medical system that she doesn't even ask if she has any other options or question what they're doing. I know, perhaps those interventions were necessary and I am wrong, but I still wonder. It also sucks knowing that she could have pumped for him. The nurses are supposed to be IBCLC's, so I would expect that they would have brought that up to her. Well, at least I know what hospital I won't be having my next baby at if I am in Wa state at that time, or at least going in with a birth plan. I also don't have all the information, so this is only based on what I have found out on FB and from family in text messages. Sadly in my family it's pushed that medical professionals know everything and I know that if I corrected any piece of information (like formula is needed for low blood sugar) I will be met with "well you're not the doctor!" I'm doing my best not to say anything. My SIL and brother are also worried about his temperature regulation being out of the incubator (he was 7lbs 11oz). I wish someone would tell them about how skin to skin helps with this!

Added: This is the type of situation where I wish people didn't just blindly accept stuff, but questioned their care. I'm not looking for women to make the decisions that I want them to make, but rather to be more involved in their care rathe than be passive and trusting what the doctors say implicitly.


ETA: I have a question can babies be held if they're on a nasal cannula? Anyone know? I'm not looking to start an argument or anything with my SIL (don't even plan to bring it up unless she asks which I doubt), but I am curious.


ETA2: BABY was NOT a preemie and was taken out of the isolette after 12 hours.



by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:23 AM
Replies (11-16):
AKmom11
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:36 PM
Oh ok. I got the idea the baby was in the NICU. But yes I agree that every mom should at least try to pump and breastfeed. It can be a fight in the beginning but so worth it!

Quoting MonicaV1982:

The baby wasn't a preemie for one and also my issue is not that she allowed formula, but that she never even questioned if it was really needed. And just for the record I had to give formula in the beginning too.



Quoting AKmom11:

With this every situation is different. And going through it as a mom is the single most difficult thing ever. My baby was born at 34 weeks. I am a FTM and wasn't able to produce right away. My baby was able to get donor milk through the hospital but they only offer it to preemies under 36 weeks. Once she hit 36 weeks it would have been formula and she had a few feedings of partial formula because I wasn't producing enough. It wasn't what I wanted but we had no choice. Luckily it didn't last long. They are going through a lot I am sure. And lots of information thrown at them fast. Many decisions to make. It might not be that they are misinformed but need help and support during this time so they go with what they think is best from the resources and info they have. Not saying anyone is right or wrong in this situation. Just saying I do understand. My SIL made me feel awful about myself as a mother because I bottle fed my preemie breastmilk. No formula at all once we got home. But we were working on the latch thing and she needed to get her weight up. We had a plan to drop every other bottle feeding til they were all from breast. She didn't understand. Fought me. Talked about me. Told me i was wrong. Misinformed. That my baby needed to eat from the breast only. My baby is 6 months old and exclusively breast fed. Still takes bottles of BM while I'm at work since I work fulltime and we are still going strong. That's longer than my SIL made it with any if her 3 kids. And she didn't work at all with her babies. Every situation is different. They will figure it out. But right now, they need support.




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MonicaV1982
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:40 PM


Well, she is able to BF him from tap. He was taken off the oxygen after about 12 hours. I was just asking because I thought that holding skin to skin and trying to BF even with the cannula could be an option. I'm planning to try for another by April and want to learn what I can from others' situations so that I can either avoid them or make the best of them by being ready. :)

Quoting AKmom11:

Oh ok. I got the idea the baby was in the NICU. But yes I agree that every mom should at least try to pump and breastfeed. It can be a fight in the beginning but so worth it!

Quoting MonicaV1982:

The baby wasn't a preemie for one and also my issue is not that she allowed formula, but that she never even questioned if it was really needed. And just for the record I had to give formula in the beginning too.



Quoting AKmom11:

With this every situation is different. And going through it as a mom is the single most difficult thing ever. My baby was born at 34 weeks. I am a FTM and wasn't able to produce right away. My baby was able to get donor milk through the hospital but they only offer it to preemies under 36 weeks. Once she hit 36 weeks it would have been formula and she had a few feedings of partial formula because I wasn't producing enough. It wasn't what I wanted but we had no choice. Luckily it didn't last long. They are going through a lot I am sure. And lots of information thrown at them fast. Many decisions to make. It might not be that they are misinformed but need help and support during this time so they go with what they think is best from the resources and info they have. Not saying anyone is right or wrong in this situation. Just saying I do understand. My SIL made me feel awful about myself as a mother because I bottle fed my preemie breastmilk. No formula at all once we got home. But we were working on the latch thing and she needed to get her weight up. We had a plan to drop every other bottle feeding til they were all from breast. She didn't understand. Fought me. Talked about me. Told me i was wrong. Misinformed. That my baby needed to eat from the breast only. My baby is 6 months old and exclusively breast fed. Still takes bottles of BM while I'm at work since I work fulltime and we are still going strong. That's longer than my SIL made it with any if her 3 kids. And she didn't work at all with her babies. Every situation is different. They will figure it out. But right now, they need support.






K8wizzo
by Kate on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:59 PM

Babies can be held on nasal cannula, but there are other issues that factor in.  My oldest was a 35-weeker and we were able to hold him first when he was 24 hrs old (he was under an oxygen hood before that and we could touch him but not pick him up).  He only tolerated being held for 1-2 minutes at a time at first and then his oxygen saturation would drop (sign of stress) and we'd have to put him back in his isolette.  The first time we each got to do skin-to-skin with him was amazing, but that was several days later after he stopped showing so much stress when he was touched and held.

K8wizzo
by Kate on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:02 PM

Legally in some states, NICU babies can not be fed orally while they're on oxygen.  Just something to be aware of.

I was able to feed Andy bottles while he was on oxygen after his respiration rate was down to an okay range, but not directly breastfeed until after he was off the oxygen.  That will differ from hospital to hospital and state to state.

Quoting MonicaV1982:


Well, she is able to BF him from tap. He was taken off the oxygen after about 12 hours. I was just asking because I thought that holding skin to skin and trying to BF even with the cannula could be an option. I'm planning to try for another by April and want to learn what I can from others' situations so that I can either avoid them or make the best of them by being ready. :)

Quoting AKmom11:

Oh ok. I got the idea the baby was in the NICU. But yes I agree that every mom should at least try to pump and breastfeed. It can be a fight in the beginning but so worth it!

Quoting MonicaV1982:

The baby wasn't a preemie for one and also my issue is not that she allowed formula, but that she never even questioned if it was really needed. And just for the record I had to give formula in the beginning too.



Quoting AKmom11:

With this every situation is different. And going through it as a mom is the single most difficult thing ever. My baby was born at 34 weeks. I am a FTM and wasn't able to produce right away. My baby was able to get donor milk through the hospital but they only offer it to preemies under 36 weeks. Once she hit 36 weeks it would have been formula and she had a few feedings of partial formula because I wasn't producing enough. It wasn't what I wanted but we had no choice. Luckily it didn't last long. They are going through a lot I am sure. And lots of information thrown at them fast. Many decisions to make. It might not be that they are misinformed but need help and support during this time so they go with what they think is best from the resources and info they have. Not saying anyone is right or wrong in this situation. Just saying I do understand. My SIL made me feel awful about myself as a mother because I bottle fed my preemie breastmilk. No formula at all once we got home. But we were working on the latch thing and she needed to get her weight up. We had a plan to drop every other bottle feeding til they were all from breast. She didn't understand. Fought me. Talked about me. Told me i was wrong. Misinformed. That my baby needed to eat from the breast only. My baby is 6 months old and exclusively breast fed. Still takes bottles of BM while I'm at work since I work fulltime and we are still going strong. That's longer than my SIL made it with any if her 3 kids. And she didn't work at all with her babies. Every situation is different. They will figure it out. But right now, they need support.







MonicaV1982
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:07 PM

baby wasn't in the nicu and wasn't a preemie.

Quoting K8wizzo:

Babies can be held on nasal cannula, but there are other issues that factor in.  My oldest was a 35-weeker and we were able to hold him first when he was 24 hrs old (he was under an oxygen hood before that and we could touch him but not pick him up).  He only tolerated being held for 1-2 minutes at a time at first and then his oxygen saturation would drop (sign of stress) and we'd have to put him back in his isolette.  The first time we each got to do skin-to-skin with him was amazing, but that was several days later after he stopped showing so much stress when he was touched and held.



K8wizzo
by Kate on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:09 PM

Sorry.  36 weeks, oxygen, and incubator in the OP threw me off.

Quoting MonicaV1982:

baby wasn't in the nicu and wasn't a preemie.

Quoting K8wizzo:

Babies can be held on nasal cannula, but there are other issues that factor in.  My oldest was a 35-weeker and we were able to hold him first when he was 24 hrs old (he was under an oxygen hood before that and we could touch him but not pick him up).  He only tolerated being held for 1-2 minutes at a time at first and then his oxygen saturation would drop (sign of stress) and we'd have to put him back in his isolette.  The first time we each got to do skin-to-skin with him was amazing, but that was several days later after he stopped showing so much stress when he was touched and held.




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