Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

My MIL is insisting that my dd needs puree's to start with because she doesn't know how to chew yet and of course no teeth yet but I can't actually give her any evidence that BLS is better. BLS is what I'm going to do but does anyone have any links that tell you WHY BLS is better? I looked it up but didn't find anything that was really convincing ... for her anyway.

Thanks!

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:34 AM
Replies (21-26):
piwife
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 5:31 PM
I don't see why you have to explain yourself to her. Just let her know you did your research and you know why is better.( it teaches portion control)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mitzi31
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:54 AM

Exacly! That's what I need. Info to show her and read with her and I really think she'll at least see my reasoning. She's so worried about dd choking on whole food and she feels baby don't have teeth and aren't able to chew yet and that you have to go through the purees first so they develope swallowing food since the only thing they've ever swallowed was liquid. Of course I tried to explain that it should just be a reaction to swallow food. I feel we're all born with the swallowing reflex so it's a matter of getting them to learn to chew the food. Basically I suck at telling people why I'm doing something cause I can never remember the exact reasons why in terms anyone else can understand. I can't remember word for word and I end up screwing it up and it sounds bad. Also she would never tell me I CAN'T do something. I'm totally alfa in our relationship but it does mean something to me to have her blessings on things that have to do with dd since she's been so supportive and she's never argued with me before on anything and I believe I can change her mind with all this good info! Thank you again!!!


Quoting maggiemom2000:

It does sound like she may be receptive to new info. Next time it comes up, tell MIL your plan, and ask her if she is interested in reading some info on it, and learning about some of the research that has been done. The first article I gave you a link to is research that was just made public 11 months ago.

Quoting coreym:

If she cares and has been supportive, I personally would tell her how much it means to me and how I appreciate it. I would assure her that ive done my research and this is the choice I am making and I hope she can continue to support me, and offer to answer any questions she has if she is interested.

Quoting Mitzi31:

I agree but they're here all the time it seems like. She's normally really good and agrees with everything I do. I was actually surprised. She's been the only real support I've had with BFing. My family's all about FF cause it's easier and I can leave her with them and go out... Of course I don't want to go out but that's the way they are. None of them will EVER babysit her that's not an issue. Sounds bad but I'd leave DD with a total stranger before I'd leave her with anyone in my family....

And I used to gives reasons why I don't do cereals and such to my family before but now I don't bother cause they just get upset thinking I'm saying they were bad parents cause they gave their babies cereals. They don't even bother trying to understand why I don't they just think I'm being mean/wrong. The only reason I care about MIL is cause she's all about what's best for our dd. She really does care and if I can give her real true information I think that'll make her see that it's best. All she knows is what was best 35 years ago.



Quoting MommyO2-6631:

I don't see why it's her business or why you're trying to jump thru hoops to prove that your choice is acceptable. Tell her this is what i'm doing and you can like it or not but the subject is not up for discussion.... you're the mom. And saying "yes" to everything like pp said may in her mind give her the go ahead to feed her this stuff whenever she baby sits so imo not a good idea.







Mitzi31
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Lol, what is that about? I just don't get it. Everything is personal with them. They all think they know best and what's even the funniest part is we ALL have issues. Like health issues. Not bad or anything but stuff like intestinal problems/IBS and so on... Stuff that when it comes to feeding a baby THEY think THEY did best. HA!! I don't want to point fingers but when they make ME feel like I'm a bad mother I'll bring that up and that shuts em' up for a min... Then they just try to say feeding beans with fat back and buttered mashed potatoes at 3 months didn't cause that... Of course I've got research to prove that could say otherwise and then they leave it along for a while lol. I'm not trying to bash what they did.. I just want to do things differently. AND there's new research out that shows lots of things that they didn't even KNOW back then. My mom gave ALL of us honey in our bottles at 3 mo old. lol. We didn't die so she said there was no way there was anything wrong with honey for infants!! lol.

Kay, sorry, I'll stop venting now! If you ever want to talk about that stuff feel free! lol


Quoting littlemonaghan:

Are we related? You just described my entire family.

Every patenting choice I made is somehow an insult to them and they way their raised us.



Quoting Mitzi31:

I agree but they're here all the time it seems like. She's normally really good and agrees with everything I do. I was actually surprised. She's been the only real support I've had with BFing. My family's all about FF cause it's easier and I can leave her with them and go out... Of course I don't want to go out but that's the way they are. None of them will EVER babysit her that's not an issue. Sounds bad but I'd leave DD with a total stranger before I'd leave her with anyone in my family....

And I used to gives reasons why I don't do cereals and such to my family before but now I don't bother cause they just get upset thinking I'm saying they were bad parents cause they gave their babies cereals. They don't even bother trying to understand why I don't they just think I'm being mean/wrong. The only reason I care about MIL is cause she's all about what's best for our dd. She really does care and if I can give her real true information I think that'll make her see that it's best. All she knows is what was best 35 years ago.



Quoting MommyO2-6631:

I don't see why it's her business or why you're trying to jump thru hoops to prove that your choice is acceptable. Tell her this is what i'm doing and you can like it or not but the subject is not up for discussion.... you're the mom. And saying "yes" to everything like pp said may in her mind give her the go ahead to feed her this stuff whenever she baby sits so imo not a good idea.






littlemonaghan
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh mine does it with everything...because I breasted, apparently I was telling them they did a horrible job giving us formula

I use cloth diapers so if course that means they are evil moms for using disposables

I did Blw which is me saying that they were so stupid!

I extended rear face so when they turned our carsest a around at 1 year I'm calling them bad parents

It's everything. Cosleeping, diapers, breast milk, solids, toys, tv, sugar, clothes, baby wearing, flu shots, the list never ends lol

Which is why I now yes them to death...but I live 3000 miles away so they can't really do anything lol

Sry if there are typos I'm mobile and don't feel like going back to proofread


Quoting Mitzi31:

Lol, what is that about? I just don't get it. Everything is personal with them. They all think they know best and what's even the funniest part is we ALL have issues. Like health issues. Not bad or anything but stuff like intestinal problems/IBS and so on... Stuff that when it comes to feeding a baby THEY think THEY did best. HA!! I don't want to point fingers but when they make ME feel like I'm a bad mother I'll bring that up and that shuts em' up for a min... Then they just try to say feeding beans with fat back and buttered mashed potatoes at 3 months didn't cause that... Of course I've got research to prove that could say otherwise and then they leave it along for a while lol. I'm not trying to bash what they did.. I just want to do things differently. AND there's new research out that shows lots of things that they didn't even KNOW back then. My mom gave ALL of us honey in our bottles at 3 mo old. lol. We didn't die so she said there was no way there was anything wrong with honey for infants!! lol.

Kay, sorry, I'll stop venting now! If you ever want to talk about that stuff feel free! lol



Quoting littlemonaghan:

Are we related? You just described my entire family.



Every patenting choice I made is somehow an insult to them and they way their raised us.







Quoting Mitzi31:

I agree but they're here all the time it seems like. She's normally really good and agrees with everything I do. I was actually surprised. She's been the only real support I've had with BFing. My family's all about FF cause it's easier and I can leave her with them and go out... Of course I don't want to go out but that's the way they are. None of them will EVER babysit her that's not an issue. Sounds bad but I'd leave DD with a total stranger before I'd leave her with anyone in my family....

And I used to gives reasons why I don't do cereals and such to my family before but now I don't bother cause they just get upset thinking I'm saying they were bad parents cause they gave their babies cereals. They don't even bother trying to understand why I don't they just think I'm being mean/wrong. The only reason I care about MIL is cause she's all about what's best for our dd. She really does care and if I can give her real true information I think that'll make her see that it's best. All she knows is what was best 35 years ago.




Quoting MommyO2-6631:

I don't see why it's her business or why you're trying to jump thru hoops to prove that your choice is acceptable. Tell her this is what i'm doing and you can like it or not but the subject is not up for discussion.... you're the mom. And saying "yes" to everything like pp said may in her mind give her the go ahead to feed her this stuff whenever she baby sits so imo not a good idea.








Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mitzi31
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:48 PM

lol, don't worry about typos.

Yep, exactly the same! Unfortunately I live much closer to my family and they can see that I don't do the things they think is right. Plus its been very hard for me in the past to yes them cause I want to argue my reasoning but I've found thats it's no use. I just try not to bring it up anymore so that will hopefully prompt them to not bring it up.

I've been trying to get DH to move much further away but he likes it here. :-( lol


Quoting littlemonaghan:

Oh mine does it with everything...because I breasted, apparently I was telling them they did a horrible job giving us formula

I use cloth diapers so if course that means they are evil moms for using disposables

I did Blw which is me saying that they were so stupid!

I extended rear face so when they turned our carsest a around at 1 year I'm calling them bad parents

It's everything. Cosleeping, diapers, breast milk, solids, toys, tv, sugar, clothes, baby wearing, flu shots, the list never ends lol

Which is why I now yes them to death...but I live 3000 miles away so they can't really do anything lol

Sry if there are typos I'm mobile and don't feel like going back to proofread


Quoting Mitzi31:

Lol, what is that about? I just don't get it. Everything is personal with them. They all think they know best and what's even the funniest part is we ALL have issues. Like health issues. Not bad or anything but stuff like intestinal problems/IBS and so on... Stuff that when it comes to feeding a baby THEY think THEY did best. HA!! I don't want to point fingers but when they make ME feel like I'm a bad mother I'll bring that up and that shuts em' up for a min... Then they just try to say feeding beans with fat back and buttered mashed potatoes at 3 months didn't cause that... Of course I've got research to prove that could say otherwise and then they leave it along for a while lol. I'm not trying to bash what they did.. I just want to do things differently. AND there's new research out that shows lots of things that they didn't even KNOW back then. My mom gave ALL of us honey in our bottles at 3 mo old. lol. We didn't die so she said there was no way there was anything wrong with honey for infants!! lol.

Kay, sorry, I'll stop venting now! If you ever want to talk about that stuff feel free! lol



Quoting littlemonaghan:

Are we related? You just described my entire family.



Every patenting choice I made is somehow an insult to them and they way their raised us.







Quoting Mitzi31:

I agree but they're here all the time it seems like. She's normally really good and agrees with everything I do. I was actually surprised. She's been the only real support I've had with BFing. My family's all about FF cause it's easier and I can leave her with them and go out... Of course I don't want to go out but that's the way they are. None of them will EVER babysit her that's not an issue. Sounds bad but I'd leave DD with a total stranger before I'd leave her with anyone in my family....

And I used to gives reasons why I don't do cereals and such to my family before but now I don't bother cause they just get upset thinking I'm saying they were bad parents cause they gave their babies cereals. They don't even bother trying to understand why I don't they just think I'm being mean/wrong. The only reason I care about MIL is cause she's all about what's best for our dd. She really does care and if I can give her real true information I think that'll make her see that it's best. All she knows is what was best 35 years ago.




Quoting MommyO2-6631:

I don't see why it's her business or why you're trying to jump thru hoops to prove that your choice is acceptable. Tell her this is what i'm doing and you can like it or not but the subject is not up for discussion.... you're the mom. And saying "yes" to everything like pp said may in her mind give her the go ahead to feed her this stuff whenever she baby sits so imo not a good idea.










Juliet8826
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I really like the book Baby Led Weaning. From personal experience we love baby led solids in part because she did learn to chew first. She is a really good really careful eater now and I think that learning to chew before learning to swallow is key in learning to eat safely. I think that her dexterity is better than most kids her age too because of the BLS. She was picking pomegranate seeds out of the pomegranate and feeding them to herself at about 13 months and that sort of thing. I credit the BLS because she just gets so much practice and has the motivation of feeding herself to propel her to want to learn how to handle things better. She even feeds herself with a fork now! I mean, she doesn't do it perfectly by any means but that seems pretty good for a 15 month old!!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN