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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

How would you handle this???

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:17 AM
  • 10 Replies

So my brother is getting married next weekend in a town (minneapolis mn) about 1hr away and I had set up with a friend to watch dd for 2-3 hrs at the hotel while my husband and i go to the family dinner and ceremony about 1 block away.  My brother and sister in law are having a cocktail wedding so after a family dinner (where they allowed kids) we were suppose to go to another room at the restaurant for the 1/2 hr ceremony and following cocktail reception where kids are not allowed.

I just got an email with some BIG changes yesterday (one wk away from the wedding) stating that we are going for family pics on the other side of town via (taxi, shuttle, or ?) transportation has not been determined yet. Then right after pics walk one city block to a different restaurant for family dinnerand then straight to ceremony/reception site across town. 

Here's my problem I had daycare set up with a girlfriend who lives in the area for later hrs and for 2/3 hrs only, now i would need care for earlier and longer like 4.5/5 hrs.  My girlfriend doesnt know my dd very well or vice versa. The rest of my family will be at the wedding and her regular daycare people are in another town, plus my dd is 4 months old and bf but does take a bottle.

Her other cousins are older and are being watched by my other sis-n-laws mother.  My brother doesnt like children. But I think it's soooo unfair to me to change plans last minute. I'm thinking about keeping things the same with my girlfriend and just skipping the pics and dinner and just going to the ceremony, if they don't allow us to bring dd?  We could always grab a family pic after the ceremony or before the official pic time? There is no wedding party, so i dont see the big deal.  I'm dissappointed, but they can't change plans last minute.  Any suggestions?

update: just found out they are allowing my future sil niece to go to the wedding she is like 10 though, but still i wonder how my other sil feels, my niece & nephew are 3.5, 12 & 13.....but i think they wanted a break from the kids. Still kind of pisses me off 







by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cnlsmommy
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:23 AM
I have to agree with your solution. It's his wedding and he can change plans at anytime, but there could be consequences to his actions. I would expect him to be pissed off with any decision you make, so I wouldn't even concern myself with his reaction. Maybe it would be possible to have your friend join you at the picture site so you can have your lo part time there but you have someone to hand lo off to when you are needed to be in pics?
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LHummel
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:02 AM

You have a breast fed 4 month old. She is your priority and rightly so. You need to do what you are comfortable with. Also what is even possible for you to do. I know this is a different situation but. I was my sisters matron of honor and was pregnant. Long story short I gave birth 2 days before the wedding. She had a no kids policy and lots of picture plans. I was nursing so pictures happened when I was done nursing and my daughter was at the wedding. People (even family) cant expect you to have a kids free solution to everything even their wedding. Its an important day for sure. I myself would leave your plans as they are if they dont want your daughter there. 

shortyali
by Alicia on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:07 AM
My brother and sil had a no child policy also until I found out my sil's niece was in the wedding and going to be there the whole time. Plus the wedding was nye. I informed them I would like to be there for the wedding but I was bringing my 10 month old with me. If they didn't like that then I wouldn't be there. I wasn't going to pay extra for a sitter on nye just so they could exclude my DS1.
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BabyPink07
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:20 AM


OMG!!! how were you IN a wedding TWO days after giving birth! Props to you. 


OP- I would bring her along. I was in a similar situation. My BIL was getting married, and my SIL was mad that we were going to send the kids out of town for her wedding, but they weren't invited to the reception, just the ceremony (as if two year olds can sit through a wedding). We had child care, and her son got a fever at the last minute. We told him the kids go, or I don't ( I offered to stay behind). He was super pissed! his wife was livid, but what was I going to do? I wasn't going to risk my daughter getting sick. If I were you, I'd take a wrap, stick her in it, and not let her go. I get why kids aren't allowed, but yours is gloing to sleep through it all anyways. Or just not go ;)

Quoting LHummel:

You have a breast fed 4 month old. She is your priority and rightly so. You need to do what you are comfortable with. Also what is even possible for you to do. I know this is a different situation but. I was my sisters matron of honor and was pregnant. Long story short I gave birth 2 days before the wedding. She had a no kids policy and lots of picture plans. I was nursing so pictures happened when I was done nursing and my daughter was at the wedding. People (even family) cant expect you to have a kids free solution to everything even their wedding. Its an important day for sure. I myself would leave your plans as they are if they dont want your daughter there. 



LHummel
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:27 AM


I think maybe I was on a birthing high? Haha. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. So many people at the wedding did though. Also I was medicated. I followed doctors orders to the letter as well. I had a great time.

Being a military wife changed me a ton. I just go with the flow to the extreme now. Otherwise I would die of anxiety. 

Quoting BabyPink07:


OMG!!! how were you IN a wedding TWO days after giving birth! Props to you. 


OP- I would bring her along. I was in a similar situation. My BIL was getting married, and my SIL was mad that we were going to send the kids out of town for her wedding, but they weren't invited to the reception, just the ceremony (as if two year olds can sit through a wedding). We had child care, and her son got a fever at the last minute. We told him the kids go, or I don't ( I offered to stay behind). He was super pissed! his wife was livid, but what was I going to do? I wasn't going to risk my daughter getting sick. If I were you, I'd take a wrap, stick her in it, and not let her go. I get why kids aren't allowed, but yours is gloing to sleep through it all anyways. Or just not go ;)

Quoting LHummel:

You have a breast fed 4 month old. She is your priority and rightly so. You need to do what you are comfortable with. Also what is even possible for you to do. I know this is a different situation but. I was my sisters matron of honor and was pregnant. Long story short I gave birth 2 days before the wedding. She had a no kids policy and lots of picture plans. I was nursing so pictures happened when I was done nursing and my daughter was at the wedding. People (even family) cant expect you to have a kids free solution to everything even their wedding. Its an important day for sure. I myself would leave your plans as they are if they dont want your daughter there. 





IrishIz
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Changing plans like that is kind of ridiculous. Do what works for you.
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BridgetMc
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this
From the beginning I would have said my breasted baby is attached to me at all times. We're a package deal so its either us together or none at all.
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jjchick75
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 2:47 PM


Me too! I would stick with the original plan and if they don't like it..oh well!

Quoting BridgetMc:

From the beginning I would have said my breasted baby is attached to me at all times. We're a package deal so its either us together or none at all.



gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:35 PM

Stick with your original plans; tell them you've got childcare arranged to the original plans and cannot change them now; that you're sorry you won't be able to be in the family pictures but you don't know what else to do.

Throw it in THEIR court to come up with an accomodation. If your brother has half a brain he'll tell you to bring the baby for the pictures.

BTW... I see disaster ahead for this wedding. The worst ones are the ones that take a long time between ceremony and food. People remember that stuff.

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:40 PM

I would call them and explain how the change in plans messed up my attempts to abide their wishes.  They might make an exception for you since the baby is so young, or at least tell you what parts they really want you there for so you can try to fix up new plans.  I think when most people say "No kids" what they really mean is they don't want a bunch of screaming toddlers.  Offer to sit in the back and step out if the baby fusses?

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