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Nursing past 2.5 years Q

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 5:49 PM
  • 11 Replies

So, I know this is going to be different for each child, but I am just wondering when other tots have been able to "wait" for the next nursing session.?

My daughter will be 3 in May (33 mo now) and when the desire hits, it still needs to be met NOW. Even like, "let me go pee first" is met with major dysfunction. LOL.

So when have other children learned or been able to wait? And are there any tips or tricks to distract them from nursing for a minute or two while you finish what you are doing? Thanks all!

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 5:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kris_PBG
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 5:51 PM
My kids ability to wait increased with age.

By 18 months (snd definiteky by 2) I would say they "got it" if I needed them to wait.
K8wizzo
by Kate on Feb. 18, 2013 at 5:51 PM

We set limits sometime after Nathan's 2nd birthday to only being able to nurse on wake-ups and lay-downs.  There's no reason that she can't wait for an acceptable time to nurse.  Just tell her that you'll nurse as soon as xyz is done or after you go potty.  If she throws a fit, she doesn't get to nurse until she's asked nicely and waited nicely for you to finish your next thing.

Ammie25
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:34 PM

Hmph, sounds like my daughter is spoiled when it comes to nursing! I can't get NOTHING done!!

Well, I don't know if I would limit her to wake ups and lay downs only because she doesn't nap anymore. And to limit her that much would practically be weaning her because she nurses pretty often when we are just sitting at home.

But I do need to start making her wait more often. It would be nice to have her be able to wait til, say, we get home, when we are at playgroup.

Any tips on working with her to "learn" to wait?

MaryJarrett
by Mary on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:41 PM
1 mom liked this

I just treat the nursing tantrums like I would any other tantrum. I set them in their beds, safely, and finish doing what I have to do. I come back and check on them often, but I stick to my guns. They learn that when mommy says not now, no, after _______, that she means it, and the tantrums stop, no matter if it over nursing, reading a book, or whatever. A tantrum is a tantrum. That's how I do it. I start that at about 18 months to 2 years old, with nursing. I always do that with any other tantrum no matter the age. Before 18 months to 2 years or so, I try to nurse on demand because it is so important nutritionally. 

MamaCeleste0722
by Celeste on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:45 PM

A little before 2 is when I started placing limits on my twin boys. I was feeling touched out, so settling limits helped me feel better about continuing. Like Mary said, I treated tantrums about nursing, the same as any other tantrums. In addition, I did distractions, by keeping them busy so that they'd "forget". I also shortened their sessions (when I count to 10, nah nahs are all done!). 

After that, they were nursing about 3x's a day 

Ammie25
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:56 PM

Thanks ladies. This helps alot. :)

K8wizzo
by Kate on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:13 PM

No need to limit it that much if you don't want to.  It worked for us because it ended up being about 4 feedings a day at that point.

You can definitely work on delaying.  No, you can't nurse now, but you can nurse after we pick up the toys/when we get home from playgroup/after Mommy finishes the dishes.  You can set a timer as well and nurse after it beeps.  You could also designate a special nursing spot and only be available to nurse in that spot--at our house the spots were the couch and my bed.  After a certain age we just didn't nurse anywhere else and if I didn't want to nurse at any point in time, I just didn't sit down in those spots.

A tantrum is a tantrum is a tantrum.... there's nothing so magical about nursing that makes it exempt from manners and discipline.  In fact, my nursling started having timeouts learning nursing manners long before my baby who was bottlefed (we stopped biting behavior when it started at the ripe old age of 5 months).  

Quoting Ammie25:

Hmph, sounds like my daughter is spoiled when it comes to nursing! I can't get NOTHING done!!

Well, I don't know if I would limit her to wake ups and lay downs only because she doesn't nap anymore. And to limit her that much would practically be weaning her because she nurses pretty often when we are just sitting at home.

But I do need to start making her wait more often. It would be nice to have her be able to wait til, say, we get home, when we are at playgroup.

Any tips on working with her to "learn" to wait?


Ammie25
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:19 AM

Thanks! i like the idea of having a certain place that we sit to nurse. I would have to find a comfy spot for that, because basically, anytime I sit or lay down anywhere, it's like I am sending out boobie-monster signals, and the boobie monster comes running.

Delaying is going to be fun...but at least I know from everyone's input here that the tantrums are inevitable...so I can just expect them. :)

Quoting K8wizzo:

No need to limit it that much if you don't want to.  It worked for us because it ended up being about 4 feedings a day at that point.

You can definitely work on delaying.  No, you can't nurse now, but you can nurse after we pick up the toys/when we get home from playgroup/after Mommy finishes the dishes.  You can set a timer as well and nurse after it beeps.  You could also designate a special nursing spot and only be available to nurse in that spot--at our house the spots were the couch and my bed.  After a certain age we just didn't nurse anywhere else and if I didn't want to nurse at any point in time, I just didn't sit down in those spots.

A tantrum is a tantrum is a tantrum.... there's nothing so magical about nursing that makes it exempt from manners and discipline.  In fact, my nursling started having timeouts learning nursing manners long before my baby who was bottlefed (we stopped biting behavior when it started at the ripe old age of 5 months).  

Quoting Ammie25:

Hmph, sounds like my daughter is spoiled when it comes to nursing! I can't get NOTHING done!!

Well, I don't know if I would limit her to wake ups and lay downs only because she doesn't nap anymore. And to limit her that much would practically be weaning her because she nurses pretty often when we are just sitting at home.

But I do need to start making her wait more often. It would be nice to have her be able to wait til, say, we get home, when we are at playgroup.

Any tips on working with her to "learn" to wait?



midjet117
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this

my daughter is the same way, shes 3. it drives me bonkers, but i still make her wait. you just gotta keep on it, she'll eventually learn. the thing that bugs me the most is when she runs up to me and shouts BOOBIE! 

JTE11
by Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:19 PM

DD just turned two and we have established three nursing sessions per day that we do as a matter of routine. Any other nursing sessions that she initiates, she gets in MY time, unless she is sick or hurt or scared or something immediate. She likes to ask me for it when I'm in the middle of doing something else like cooking because she naturally wants attention if I'm giving something else attention. But I'm not about to just stop cooking and nurse so I'll say "Yes! You can have milk, right after I finish (whatever)."  Sometimes there is drama  and screaming but she is two and will not die from not nursing, or from having a fit, or from waiting, for that matter. I try to be understanding adn let her know I know she wants to nurse right now(!) and that I WILL nurse her but I just need to finish doing what I'm doing. I ask her if she would like to have a drink in a cup and a snack while she waits. Sometimes she says yes, sometimes she just has a fit. I just let her have her fits and over time they have decreased because she knows that if I am busy  I am not just going to drop everything adn tend to her. She now knows that she can stand there and scream at me and she won't get nursed any sooner, she'll just get put into her room, and still not nursed.  I don't let her fits (and they can be spectacular) change what I was going to do.  So that's my first tip, don't be afraid of tantrums, and to remove her from you if she persists in having a fit. The second tip I have is that she might be hungry or thirsty so maybe offer a drink and a snack. She may not want it but sometimes my DD asks to nurse because she is thirsty or hungry so I will give her a drink and/or a snack and then if she still wants to nurse after that I'll give it to her. The third thing is just be consistent. Don't drop everything to avoid a fit one day and then insist she wait the next. That will only increase the wailing. Kids need to learn patience. It's hard and they hate it but  an almost three year old can wait to be nursed, and is old enough to do so most times without causing a scene. The fourth thing is to try to let her know that you know she wants it, and that it's hard to wait but that you promise you will nurse her as soon as you are done. I always try to be understanding of my DD's feelings, even if I can't give her what she wants at the time and it has helped stop some tantrums, and has over time made her able to actually hear a "not now" answer and get annoyed but not flip out.

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