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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Never thought I'd still be bfing...

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:04 PM
  • 16 Replies

 Here we are, 20 months later and I can't see an end approaching. I really just wanted to go for one year but then saw no reason to quit. But now....we are ok at the moment because Daddy is deployed, but come July it seems that it will interfere with my marriage. DS still co-sleeps, still has not slept through the night and I feel like he wont be in his own bed any time soon. I need advice. Anyone else going through this or has and successfully gotten through it? I told my husband I would have DS in his bed prior to him coming home. I just don't know....

toddler tantrum

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cabrandy03
by Brandy on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:10 PM

I never thought I'd be breastfeeding or bedsharring this long either (my daughter just turned 2).  While my dh dosn't love the fact dd still sleeps with us he recognizes that it's best for now so he's okay with it.  Maybe try to get him on board with bedsharring....I read a great article the other day about the benefits of bedsharring past infancy, I'll see if I can find it for you.  Bedsharring dosn't have to negatively effect a marriage.  Once dd is asleep dh and I can slip away for a little while if we need some private time.  If you feel you really want to get him in his own bed start slowly.  Get a toddler mattress or twin mattress and put it right next to your bed for a while.  Once he's comfortable there move it across the room, then you can work on moving him to his own room. 

MaryJarrett
by Mary on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:13 PM
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Look up Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning method. It's a good place to start the transistion into his own sleep space. I would start NOW. That gives you more time to get him to a good place so he doesn't associate the negative (he'll think of moving to his bed that way-not that it is) change with daddy's return. Ya know? Good luck! And YAY for nursing this long! and YAY for your DH coming home! :) 

MaryJarrett
by Mary on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:14 PM

Oh, and maybe your DH would be ok with DS being in his own bed, but still in your room? That may be another option. 

cabrandy03
by Brandy on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:14 PM

http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/five-benefits-cosleeping/

Here's a link to the article I mentioned

Aandie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:29 PM
This is what I did, I told my dd that she could have milk in the morning when the sun comes up. She usually makes it from 9pm to 5am.


Quoting MaryJarrett:

Look up Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning method. It's a good place to start the transistion into his own sleep space. I would start NOW. That gives you more time to get him to a good place so he doesn't associate the negative (he'll think of moving to his bed that way-not that it is) change with daddy's return. Ya know? Good luck! And YAY for nursing this long! and YAY for your DH coming home! :) 


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maggiemom2000
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:42 PM

I'm still nursing my 3 1/2 yr old and it does not interfere in my marriage in any way!

If you want to night wean and move DS out of your bed before DH comes home this summer that is 100% doable. When DD was about 14 months I started putting her to bed in her crib in her room (right next to mine). She would sleep there for a few hours, then when she first woke to nurse I'd bring her into my bed for the rest of the night to nurse. Starting at about 18 months I stopped nursing her to sleep. She started sleeping in her crib longer before coming into my bed. At 24 hours I use D.r Jay Gordon's method to night wean her, then I stopped bringing her into my bed during the night. She would still wake up once or twice during the night and I would need to go pat her back and turn on her music, then she went right back to sleep. I made the rule that she could come in my bed and nurse when the sun came up.

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

K8wizzo
by Kate on Feb. 21, 2013 at 9:06 PM

We use the "when the sun comes up" rule, too.  For both of our boys, one nursing as a toddler and one not, we transitioned them out of our bed and onto a mattress on the floor next to it around 20-22 months.  They snuggled and/or nursed and then laid down in their spot to fall asleep.  They were allowed to get up and come in bed with us when the sun came up.  Having them in our bedroom wasn't an issue as far as marriage and they ended up heading to their own room sometime around age 2.5.

GE1
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 9:30 PM

I didn't think that I would be nursing for more than a year either but I am. DS is only 13 1/2 months. We used to cosleep for months but the trouble was he would stay up till 11pm and wake up at 8 however wake up almost every hour becuse he did not have any place to move around and we had a hard time sleeping too. He would sleep if we help him then but then when we moved him so that we could go to bed we would wake up. Then after his bedtime routine we started putting him in his crib awake. He was about 11 1/2 months by then. he would fight hard to stay awake and cry. I would sit by his crib and rub his back and wait till he would fall asleep. After 3 night he stopped fighting so hard and we all started to sleep better. I nurse during the night and we put him back to bed. He rolls around as much as he wants and doesn't push us out of bed so that we can sleep too. Only problem is that after 5 or 6am he will not go back in his crib. So we co sleep from then every morning. He also naps in his crib too and not in my lap and sleeps longer and well.

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Feb. 21, 2013 at 9:58 PM
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Weaning from the breast wont wean him from cosleeping or help sleeping hrough the night...dr jay gordon can help with the cosleeping thing

BlessedMammaof2
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:10 PM
My son is 23 months old, still breastfeeding and we bedshare. But both DH and I are comfortable with our arrangments and it does not interfere with our relationship.

You can certainly work on night weaning or transitioning him to his own bed or room but I would work on one or the other and not both. Niether ending co-sleeping nor night weaning will gurantee he will STTN.

We night weaned simply because I'm 27 weeks pregnant and needed too for my own sanity and comfort. It was difficult at first but doable.
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