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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

How to wean a 3 year old..?

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:59 PM
  • 14 Replies

 My little girl is getting close to 3 1/2, and I am pretty much ready to wean.  I feel a little sad about it of course, but she still wakes me to nurse 2-3x a night, and has to nurse to sleep also.  So I can never go anywhere or do anything with friends or go out with hubby at night for very late either because she needs me and hubby and my mom are scared to watch her haha.  She has alwasy been very stubborn about it and when she doesn't get it, she pretty much throws a fit.  She's ALWAYS nursed to sleep, and always wakes 2-3x a night and wants it right away also.  She now sleeps in her own bed, but usually comes into our bed in the night because I don't want to have to keep going in her bedroom.  Soooo..... I could use some advice on how to wean her, if anyone has any?  I honestly feel a little guilty about forcing her to quit, which is probably ridiculous, but I guess it's a mom thing. 

Thank you!

 

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:08 PM
Its hard when they are so attached. Its up to you what you want to do, remember breastfeeding is a relationship between you and her, both need to be considered. If you decide you dont wantvto wean, i would encourage you to give into nursing because of a fit. If you decide to wean, thats ok, no nees to feel guilty for either decision.
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SewingMamaLele
by Leanne on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:12 PM

You can just nightwean and let her fully wean on her own (or NOT... 3.5 is definitely nothing to scoff at!).

For nightweaning, talk to her about it first.   Tell her (at her level, where ever she is) that she's not going to be able to nurse to sleep anymore... talk about it every night for a week or a few days to prepare her.   Then, follow through.   She throws a fit, treat it like a fit.   She cries... hold her and comfort her.   Sit next to her bed and rub her back and talk/sing to her.   etc... She'll calm down eventually.   Then, wear 3 shirts to bed and pat her back to sleep when she wakes.   

fairybaby55
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:35 PM

 

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

You can just nightwean and let her fully wean on her own (or NOT... 3.5 is definitely nothing to scoff at!).

For nightweaning, talk to her about it first.   Tell her (at her level, where ever she is) that she's not going to be able to nurse to sleep anymore... talk about it every night for a week or a few days to prepare her.   Then, follow through.   She throws a fit, treat it like a fit.   She cries... hold her and comfort her.   Sit next to her bed and rub her back and talk/sing to her.   etc... She'll calm down eventually.   Then, wear 3 shirts to bed and pat her back to sleep when she wakes.   

 Thanks so much for this reply...  it really helped a lot.  :) 

fairybaby55
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:37 PM

 

Quoting Precious333:

Its hard when they are so attached. Its up to you what you want to do, remember breastfeeding is a relationship between you and her, both need to be considered. If you decide you dont wantvto wean, i would encourage you to give into nursing because of a fit. If you decide to wean, thats ok, no nees to feel guilty for either decision.

 Thank you for this reply.  It's so hard to wean for me bevause she may be our last baby...  but yet I do think it's probably time, too.  I think no matter when I do it I'll be sad.  Siigghhh.... 

MusherMaggie
by Platinum Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:44 PM
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Google Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning method-- very good way to do it.
Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:49 PM
i know the feeling. This one i thought woild be our last but then i got pregnant again. We are in the process of weaning, and its still hard because hes so attached.

I did talk to a friend though who pretty much let her son self wean around age 4. He was down to nursing maybe every other day, she had a talk with him and encouraged him to wean. She said that he was such a big boy now, and she noticed he liked hot chocolate, so she said, well, what about when you feel like nursing, i can get you hot chocolate instead? He agreed happily and she said it was a satisfying feeling having nursed and stoppinf when itvwas mutual. So weaning can have so many mixed emotions, because it is saying goodbye to something special, but can open the way for new special things......i thjnk im giving myself a peptalk here! Lol


Quoting fairybaby55:

 


Quoting Precious333:

Its hard when they are so attached. Its up to you what you want to do, remember breastfeeding is a relationship between you and her, both need to be considered. If you decide you dont wantvto wean, i would encourage you to give into nursing because of a fit. If you decide to wean, thats ok, no nees to feel guilty for either decision.

 Thank you for this reply.  It's so hard to wean for me bevause she may be our last baby...  but yet I do think it's probably time, too.  I think no matter when I do it I'll be sad.  Siigghhh.... 


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maggiemom2000
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:59 PM
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If you say no and she throws a fit, does she then get to nurse? If so, then that is your first step. No means no. If you are going to give in then do not say no in the first place. Not saying no can actually be a good place to start. When they hear no, it can make them ask even more, cling tighter. Sometimes they feel more secure and do better letting go when they are not told that they can't.

If she always want it right now, another starting place is practicing really short delays. "I'm going to get a drink of water, then wwe will sit down and nurse." Gradually, try longer delays.

I suggest you focus on getting her night weaned, this is the best how to info: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Hubby and your mom need to "man up" and have the courage to put her to bed. You plan a night out with a friend and leave dad home to do bedtime. 

My DD is 3 1/2 and still nursing. Just this last week I took nursing before bed out of our bedtime routine. I started at  18 months to nurse her and rock her as the last step in our bedtime routine, but then put her in her crib awake. You can start that now. Do your usual routine but only nurse for a set time, then she gets into bed. I have 5 little songs I sing to her (Twinkle twinkle, etc.) while she nurses in the rocking chair, then after I sing the last song she gets in bed. I sit in there with her so she is not left alone.

My DH is usually at th e fire station a few nights a week but last week when I realized he would be home 5 nights in a row I told him, you're on! He put her to bed every night for 5 nights in a row (she complained the first 2 nights). On night 6 when he was gone she was upset that Papa was not there to put her to bed! I told her we would still rock and sing but I would not nurse her. That was the beginning of me putting her to bed w/o nursing.

Pick one thing at a time, like putting her to bed awake OR night weaning. Tackle one, then when that one is routine start the next.

You don't have to quit altogether, just get to the point where dad can put her to bed, and/or grandma so that you and DH can go out one evening.

I think part of the reason I;m still okay with my soon to be 4 yr old still nursing is that I am not tied down. I CAN be gone at bedtime, I can leave for the day, and know she will be fine. DH and I actually went away overnight alone togehter for the first time since she came home, last month. the kids stayed with grandma and did great!

SewingMamaLele
by Leanne on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:07 PM
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Julia reminded me... with DS2 (who nightweaned at 2.5) I took him to get a "big boy cup" (foogo straw cup) and put milk in that for him at bedtime so he'd have it when he woke up (and so I knew he wasn't hungry).    It only lasted a month or two and then he was fine without it (or I would have switched it out for water).

fairybaby55
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:31 PM
1 mom liked this

 That's really sweet.  Maybe we can figure out something like that, too. 

Quoting Precious333:

i know the feeling. This one i thought woild be our last but then i got pregnant again. We are in the process of weaning, and its still hard because hes so attached.

I did talk to a friend though who pretty much let her son self wean around age 4. He was down to nursing maybe every other day, she had a talk with him and encouraged him to wean. She said that he was such a big boy now, and she noticed he liked hot chocolate, so she said, well, what about when you feel like nursing, i can get you hot chocolate instead? He agreed happily and she said it was a satisfying feeling having nursed and stoppinf when itvwas mutual. So weaning can have so many mixed emotions, because it is saying goodbye to something special, but can open the way for new special things......i thjnk im giving myself a peptalk here! Lol


Quoting fairybaby55:

 


Quoting Precious333:

Its hard when they are so attached. Its up to you what you want to do, remember breastfeeding is a relationship between you and her, both need to be considered. If you decide you dont wantvto wean, i would encourage you to give into nursing because of a fit. If you decide to wean, thats ok, no nees to feel guilty for either decision.

 Thank you for this reply.  It's so hard to wean for me bevause she may be our last baby...  but yet I do think it's probably time, too.  I think no matter when I do it I'll be sad.  Siigghhh.... 


 

jkj767
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:45 PM

I just weaned my 22 month old a few days ago. He got to a point he would slap and kick while nursing and it was time to say goodbye. I told him he was a big boy now and he drank all of mummy's milk just like he was supposed to. He cried the first day but it was easy by day 3. I noticed by day 4 (today and he hasn't asked once) it is also on the farmers almanac site as one of the best days to wean, check it out, I really think it may have helped!

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