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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Why I can't go & hang out with the other moms....

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:03 PM
  • 87 Replies
1 mom liked this
It was warm last week so DS & I went for a walk & there were other families (moms mostly) out with their kids. This was the biggest group I've ever seen outside - maybe 7-8 moms, at least 3-4 with little babies and toddlers.

Besides their crotch dangling baby carriers (ugh), which were bad enough, when I wasn't playing with DS (um 15 minutes maybe? - none of the other moms were playing with their kids), the following bad advice came up:
- give cereal at 4 months - it's okay
- bfing moms giving bottles because they don't want to sit & nurse
- bfing moms giving babies 6 oz bottles (6 month old)
- one mom told another its okay to mix fomula & bm in a bottle
- a discussion about oversupply & how the mom just couldn't deal so she quit
- how they pump so their husband can give a bottle & 'bond' with the baby

I did meet one mom who is nursing her 3 year old & we ended up chatting for a bit while we helped our two kids play.

I added in my comments at the beginning, then gave up because the moms just listened to the advice they wanted to hear.
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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
audmom1218
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:24 PM
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Oy. I find the same problem! I went on a moms day outing where you were supposed to leave your kid with a sitter for some pampering. I sent dd with my dad (he rarely gets to see her so I was ok with that part) but our "pampering" was going to tgi Fridays for overpriced drinks, and discussing who we (they) have/are cheating on their SOs with and how much of a headache having children is! Definitely my last MOMS day with that group'
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JenB1983
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah.....some of that is irritating, but I'm failing to see the big deal about daddies getting to feed their babies......

S/O gives DD a bottle of pumped milk a couple times a week. No issues with supply or anything, I just pump that feeding he gives her.
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Cruz-s-mommy
by Amanda on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:36 PM
Same problem, all my friends irl are like this, I can't seem to get a break finding a mommy friend whose parenting style is remotely similar to mine... no one seems to care what the facts are. SMH :-(
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GoodyBrook
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd love to find a play group for DS1.  I just don't want to deal with the other mothers!  :)

mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:53 PM
2 moms liked this
Me, too. I'm the "crunchy hippie freak mom". Statistically speaking its about what I expect.
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mckinneymom918
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:06 PM
Ugh, when I quit work, I tried to find a group for my (now) 4 year old... I wasn't even pregnant or nursing and couldn't stand the moms!
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katinahat
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:11 PM
12 moms liked this

Lol. I don't see a horrible terrible mother in any of those things. Misinformation or different choices than my own, sure. But it IS bonding for a father to feed his child. My husband and daughter bond when she sits next to him and he shares his dinner with her-- it's part of what helped build a bond when he came back from deployment and she had no idea who he was.

I guess, if you can't tolerate opinions that differ from your own, it would be best not to join moms groups. 

____________________________________________________________

Christian, vaccinating, fun-loving, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, positive disciplining, nerdy, extended rear-facing, bookworm, creative, outdoorsy, autodidactic, friendly family.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa

MommyO2-6631
by Leslie on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:18 PM
2 moms liked this
I feel like people are starting to see me this way too.... but i don't feel crunchy! I feel like i'm normal and they're strange lol


Quoting mostlymaydays:

Me, too. I'm the "crunchy hippie freak mom". Statistically speaking its about what I expect.

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audmom1218
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this
She never said they were horrible mothers, just that she didn't feel like she fit in or had anything in common with them due to their bad advice.


Quoting katinahat:

Lol. I don't see a horrible terrible mother in any of those things. Misinformation or different choices than my own, sure. But it IS bonding for a father to feed his child. My husband and daughter bond when she sits next to him and he shares his dinner with her-- it's part of what helped build a bond when he came back from deployment and she had no idea who he was.

I guess, if you can't tolerate opinions that differ from your own, it would be best not to join moms groups. 


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katinahat
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I just took it as a negative judgement since their different choices disqualified them for her friendship. If someone felt that they couldn't hang out with me anymore because I extended breastfeed or because I babywear, I would feel negatively judged. 

I don't know. I think that you can always find something in common with someone, if you're trying to. Personal opinion.

Quoting audmom1218:

She never said they were horrible mothers, just that she didn't feel like she fit in or had anything in common with them due to their bad advice.


Quoting katinahat:

Lol. I don't see a horrible terrible mother in any of those things. Misinformation or different choices than my own, sure. But it IS bonding for a father to feed his child. My husband and daughter bond when she sits next to him and he shares his dinner with her-- it's part of what helped build a bond when he came back from deployment and she had no idea who he was.

I guess, if you can't tolerate opinions that differ from your own, it would be best not to join moms groups. 




____________________________________________________________

Christian, vaccinating, fun-loving, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, positive disciplining, nerdy, extended rear-facing, bookworm, creative, outdoorsy, autodidactic, friendly family.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa

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