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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

I just want my body back

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 4:13 PM
  • 15 Replies

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for her.

I've been struggling on and off with PPD and have just been focusing on nursing my dd, who is now 5 1/2 months. 

I'll be honest. I tried to give her a bottle of formula, but she absolutely refused it (even when I wasn't home). I would have tried BM, but when she's not nursing, I'm chasing around my 3 year old or running errands. I just can't find the time to pump. 

Lately, I feel crowded. I've constantly got someone on or near me, and I just need a break. The comfort nursing is driving me crazy. My 3 year old son is always fighting for my attention. Then dh gets home and he wants to be around me, too. It's gotten to the point where I stay up super late at night so I can have some alone time while everyone's sleeping, but then as soon as my head hits the pillow dd is crying to be fed. By the time morning comes around, it takes everything I have to get out of bed and do the whole day over again.

I know it's for selfish reasons, but I'm going a little crazy here. There has to be some kind of balance where dd can still be breastfed and I can still have an hour or two a day of calm, quiet, ME time.

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 4:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
asaffell
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 4:18 PM

Tell your husband you need a morning. Honestly. Pump when you nurse her on the other side and just go away and read a book or something for a few hours. He and baby will have to make it. There's no reason you CAN'T have me time, it's just not going to happen - you have to make it happen.

ChocolateJunky
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 4:20 PM


I wish it were that easy. I should have mentioned he usually works 7 days a week. I'm the main caregiver in the house. He does what he can when he's home in the evenings.

ETA: That is a good idea about pumping while I feed her. I'll have to get a different pump, though, because I'm still using the pulnger one I got from the hospital. My only issue here is that dd is very fidgety and distracted when she eats, but I'll give it a shot.

Quoting asaffell:

Tell your husband you need a morning. Honestly. Pump when you nurse her on the other side and just go away and read a book or something for a few hours. He and baby will have to make it. There's no reason you CAN'T have me time, it's just not going to happen - you have to make it happen.



aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:44 PM
5 moms liked this
When he gets home, hand him the baby and go take a bath and relax. Feed her right before you hand her off so she won't need to eat. Tell him not to bother you unless there's blood or flames.
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catholicmamamia
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:52 PM

Let him take over for a while.. nothing wrong with mama taking a little time to relax and breathe! 


                
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gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:36 PM

Yep. When he gets home, hand baby over and GO. He can handle it. And nope, no mercy for him working seven days a week. I've done that too, two jobs... and STILL did my share when I got home! 

You never really get your body back... but you can catch an hour here and there.

mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:52 PM
1 mom liked this
While I am trying to keep little ones alive, dh needs to step it up and take care of himself a bit more. I've got 4 kids, about 3 yrs apart, and I totally hear you about feeling touched out. I often feel used and used up. I feel like the only one who can feed the baby and the only one who can figure out how to put a hotdog in the microwave for a minute. I deeply resent my dh getting whiny considering he gets to sit in front of the tv while I never seem to sit down ever. The first 6 months at least, dh needs to take care of himself and help more with the older ones, especially at our ugly bedtime here. I agree that he needs to take the kids for a couple hours on his own. I used to hand my dh the baby and "get ready for bed" and an hour later I'd get the baby back. Sometimes he/she cried the whole time, sometimes slept (ESPN with dad can do that), sometimes played. But I got my break before tackling my night shift.
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fortressmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 12:30 AM

Will your kids nap at the same time? I would start looking to get them on the same nap schedule so you can have some quiet time every day. When my 2 oldest kids were little that was my saving grace. My 2nd DD was super high needs and I had to have that time to function even remotely normally. I literally lived for nap time each day so I could rejuvinate for the rest of the day. It will eventually even out, it just may take a little while longer.

ChocolateJunky
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:44 AM
It helps knowing I'm not the only person who feels this way at times. I think I may be going through a breastfeeding burnout.


Quoting mostlymaydays:

While I am trying to keep little ones alive, dh needs to step it up and take care of himself a bit more. I've got 4 kids, about 3 yrs apart, and I totally hear you about feeling touched out. I often feel used and used up. I feel like the only one who can feed the baby and the only one who can figure out how to put a hotdog in the microwave for a minute. I deeply resent my dh getting whiny considering he gets to sit in front of the tv while I never seem to sit down ever. The first 6 months at least, dh needs to take care of himself and help more with the older ones, especially at our ugly bedtime here. I agree that he needs to take the kids for a couple hours on his own. I used to hand my dh the baby and "get ready for bed" and an hour later I'd get the baby back. Sometimes he/she cried the whole time, sometimes slept (ESPN with dad can do that), sometimes played. But I got my break before tackling my night shift.

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ChocolateJunky
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM
I wish! My oldest is impossible to get down for a nap. Sometimes we put a movie on and he will relax for a little bit.


Quoting fortressmom:

Will your kids nap at the same time? I would start looking to get them on the same nap schedule so you can have some quiet time every day. When my 2 oldest kids were little that was my saving grace. My 2nd DD was super high needs and I had to have that time to function even remotely normally. I literally lived for nap time each day so I could rejuvinate for the rest of the day. It will eventually even out, it just may take a little while longer.


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BlessedMammaof2
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:58 AM
I feel for you. I'm nursing my son who will be two on Monday and am due with number two in late May. I fear I may not get a break between breastfeeding the two. I cannot fathom breastfeeding for four or more years straight which is likely where I am headed. Though fortunately for me I can set limits at his age.

My suggestion would be to express your feelings to your spouse. It is not unreasonable to expect him to help with both kiddos so you can take even half an hour to an hour to yourself.
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