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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

First generation breastfeeder *rant*

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 12:55 AM
  • 44 Replies
So no one in my family beside my 85 yo grandmother has nursed a child, my sister and my dh's sisters did for a few weeks after birth but went to formula pretty quick. So my mil's attitude is "I never did it so I have nothing to say". My mother on the other hand has lots to say. Every time I visit with her and my father, it's a steady stream of comments ranging from letting me know how spoiled my 4 month old is to telling me he's hungry or how I should start him on cereal. He should be sleeping through the night, I was on solids by now. Instead of trying to be supportive I feel like she's judging, constantly. I'm joining the llli meeting in my town next month and enjoy reading your posts on here ladies! If it wasn't for you I don't know if I could have made it this long. How do you deal with uninformed relatives? I just try to give her the correct info but she never seems to "believe me" like I'm making this stuff up. So frustrating!
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by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 12:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Mar. 23, 2013 at 12:58 AM
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You give her a choice. "If you want to see me, you need to either learn or to stop the comments. If you can do neither, then I cannot see you."

GremlinMom
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:03 AM
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My mother. Ug! But I kind of insisted on being casual about nursing in her home at visits and it has calmed down. Especially now that he is old enough to be on solids and thoroughly enjoys them "/ lol basically outdid her nursing and information and all she did was brag her outdated info and well... I'm on 9 months of successful nursing, nursed through his first teeth, nurse with solids, and date my husband with a nursling. I win :)
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MaryJarrett
by Mary on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:06 AM
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This quote, "I understand that we disagree on the topic of infant feeding, so I've decided I won't engage you in conversations about that. Please keep off that topic, or I'll be forced to avoid conversing with you at all. That's not what I want, but if you don't know respect my choices, that is what I will do. Now, let's change the subject." 
It seems like you've given her the correct information, and she's refusing to accept it. The best thing to do from now on is NOT entertain any comments regarding feeding the baby. At all.  

lillybug222
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:13 AM
Honestly, just ignore the comments.
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Zazayam
by Nicki on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:13 AM
3 moms liked this

I ignore them, and threaten to squirt them when they question my milk supply. "How do you know she's getting anything?" always annoys me. Mine is also apparently spoilled. Just smile and nod, and keep up the good work!

aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:31 AM
This.
I was lucky. My mom was the first generation breastfeeding mom and dealt with all of that. I grew up seeing my older sisters nurse their babies. It was normal in our family.


Quoting gdiamante:

You give her a choice. "If you want to see me, you need to either learn or to stop the comments. If you can do neither, then I cannot see you."

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MumsTheWord571
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:35 AM
1 mom liked this
This exactly. I first tried to educate, then said either drop the comments or I won't come back until they're weaned. The stopped the comments. My mom even educated herself and my sisters are saying they will be nursing their next child (they FF the first ones) one is 6 mo pregnant now & asks questions all the time. Also my 19 yr old niece is nursing her DD with my advice we talk by text nearly daily to reassure her. I even went to the hospital to teach her to latch.


Quoting gdiamante:

You give her a choice. "If you want to see me, you need to either learn or to stop the comments. If you can do neither, then I cannot see you."


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justone_jen
by Jen on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:50 AM
I gave up explaining myself. And, for the most part, the comments have stopped. Frankly, I would tell my mom to shut up and drop it, but we have that kind of relationship.
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MommyO2-6631
by Leslie on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:37 AM
I would just tell her you were tired of the comments and then leave. Maybe next time she'd get the hint
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Ms.Pteranodon
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:42 AM
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Bwahaha. I like your approach. If you dot shut up I will squirt you!


I'm a first generation nurser as well. Whenever in around family I just hear their never ending stories about why they couldn't nurse.





Quoting Zazayam:

I ignore them, and threaten to squirt them when they question my milk supply. "How do you know she's getting anything?" always annoys me. Mine is also apparently spoilled. Just smile and nod, and keep up the good work!


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