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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

I don't understand....

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:52 AM
  • 34 Replies

I am in this group for advice and support when it comes to breastfeeding.   I feel that it is advice and support that is truly needed for many women who make the choice to breastfeed.  

I cannot seem to wrap my head around all of the judgement that is directed toward any woman who chooses (or is unable) to breastfeed.   

Women on here who judge those who do not breastfeed -- why?  

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
beachlove512
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:03 AM
12 moms liked this

If a woman truly cannot breastfeed, I won't judge BUT if she's choosing not to because she doesn't feel like it or has some other dumb excuse then I will. To be fair, on other boards, I've seen FF moms get really defensive and attack BF moms so it goes both ways. Tbh, what bothers me is when women don't even try to breastfeed, they just automatically go to FF when it isn't necessary.

audmom1218
by Silver Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:03 AM
2 moms liked this

No judgement from me on people who CHOSE not to breastfeed, but I do heavily direct judgement to professionals who perpetuate myths who either sabotage an otherwise healthy BF relationship, or lead moms to never try because they are afraid they won't succeed.  

Ptitchou
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this
My only malcontent is of the misinformation that runs rampant. People trust their doctors and nurses and are fed such terrible advice.

And I formula fed my first after three months. So I don't judge. But I did so, knowing and admitting I wasn't giving my child the natural nutrition I should have, that I had planned to. I was never one to give excuses. I gave up. I tried hard, got a lot of help but still gave up.
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gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this

The vent posts do pop up from time to time and I do ask that they be redirected to journals. We don't exist to complain about others.

Feel free to report abuse when you're bothered by a post. I can't guarantee the CafeMom admins will do anything about it, though.

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:04 PM
8 moms liked this

Though some judge, I think women are honestly confused why otehrs do not breastfeed.  There are so many excuses and many wome who choose not to BF dont understand the first thing about the risks of formula and it confuses many women why if you choose to do something you dont know the first real thing about it.

That being said, I was a FFing mom twice.  I still dont understand why women often refuse to even TRY to BF, does it make me kinda judge them? In a way, but it makes me sad more than anything because both the mom and baby are missing out.  I realize after FFing 2 and BFing 2 what I missed out o when I FF.

I feel bad for moms who can not physically BF.  It makes me so sad.  The number who can not BF at all is very very low...its not all or nothing yet the number of moms who "couldn't" Bf is very very high on CM

Beccahairlady
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I try not to judge. I find it very hard to understand why women who are capable don't give it their all for their children. I know there is a small percentage who truly can't because of insufficient tissue. I try not to get upset and just focus on the fact that my two kids had the best food made just for them by my body.

Sebbiemama
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 1:35 PM

Parenting decisions are very emotional and personal things to begin with. And when you throw in how breastfeeding is tied to some very strong maternal instincts (in some - not every woman has the exact same feelings and instincts) you can see how some people breastfeeding proponents can turn nasty. And then the formula feeding (for any reason) moms get defensive in response and some get angry at breastfeeders. And then the boobie-battle is ON!

It's human nature to want to be right. And when we make a decision we should think that we are right! But it's not always within everyone's reach to accept that some people make completely opposite decisions and it is okay and right for them. 

Personally, as long as a kid gets fed and loved, I couldn't care less how you do it. I want to breastfeed but that's a personal decision that is between me and my babies. BUT there are other, completely different parenting topics that I do get my panties up in a bunch about... Hey, I'm not perfect. 


beachlove512
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 1:57 PM

I agree, I think there are some women who say they "can't" BF but in reality it's just that they "won't." I do know of one person in particular who literally could not BF. She had IGT and felt the worst guilt over FF. I'm not going to judge people like her because that situation was truly out of her hands. 

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Though some judge, I think women are honestly confused why otehrs do not breastfeed.  There are so many excuses and many wome who choose not to BF dont understand the first thing about the risks of formula and it confuses many women why if you choose to do something you dont know the first real thing about it.

That being said, I was a FFing mom twice.  I still dont understand why women often refuse to even TRY to BF, does it make me kinda judge them? In a way, but it makes me sad more than anything because both the mom and baby are missing out.  I realize after FFing 2 and BFing 2 what I missed out o when I FF.

I feel bad for moms who can not physically BF.  It makes me so sad.  The number who can not BF at all is very very low...its not all or nothing yet the number of moms who "couldn't" Bf is very very high on CM



Zazayam
by Nicki on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't judge, I don't really care what people feed their kids as long as they're being taken care of. Of course I think breast is best but it's not really my business if you don't do that.

I'm not trying to argue, but I haven't seen a whole lot of judgment here.. I see people questioning and trying to talk people out of feeling like they "can't" do it. A lot of reasons people can't breastfeed are fixable.

MommyO2-6631
by Leslie on Mar. 31, 2013 at 4:02 PM
Don't judge the women that off.... but there's a difference in trying and not succeeding and being so lazy that you don't try. Like my cousin.... she bf in the hospital. Told me that first night that when she gets home she's going to stop because she doesn't like the way it feels. She didn't even try to make it work.
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