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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

So ticked off an hurt right now

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:00 AM
  • 32 Replies
I have talked about BF my daughter since I found out I was expecting . I have also expressed to my husband several times that I want to BF our baby. Well she is 6 days old and is obviously goin through a growth spurt which means she Will be hurry more often causing her to be extra fussy because breastmilk doesn't flow like a bottle and it doesn't last as long as formula. Well I was just nursing going on about an hour in a half my husband starts complaining asking how long does breastmilk last, how long do I plan on BF and why does she keep crying. My feelings are really hurt I keep trying to explain the importance of breastmilk and getting full supply in so that she will get full in one feeding. So I did a NO NO to shut him the hell up and keep the peace...I gave her formula(please don't be mean)she drank about 1.75 oz after nursing for over an hour. I hate giving her formula she always pukes after it and drinks way to much. So as I was trying my post she pukes and it came out of her mouth and nose so now I don't want to lay her down....UGH a part of me wants to stand my ground and another part wants to give in just to keep the peace. I am so torn, hurt, confused, and angry all at the same time.
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by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
justone_jen
by Jen on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:08 AM
13 moms liked this
hugs.

Babies cry. I would've made the bottle of formula, handed it to him and said, "Maybe this will stop your bitching. Drink up!" while I continued to nurse baby.
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Clei420
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:10 AM
I am so frustrated right now. I am fighting my tears. All I want is the best for our baby and he wants a easy fix.

Quoting justone_jen:

hugs.



Babies cry. I would've made the bottle of formula, handed it to him and said, "Maybe this will stop your bitching. Drink up!" while I continued to nurse baby.
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polkaspots
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell him to leave you alone if he's not going to help. You shouldn't be the one giving bottles in the first place. Get comfy with baby and just nurse. Fighting about it isn't going to help, and giving in is going to make it harder for you and baby.
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justone_jen
by Jen on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:16 AM
1 mom liked this
Breathe, mama. The first weeks are hard, and your hormones only compound everything. There is no easy fix, because nothing is broken! It's normal for babies to cry. It's easy to get caught up thinking you're doing something wrong, because we all have this idea that our babies are crying BECAUSE we're doing something wrong. The reality is that babies are screaming monsters, even with the best mamas.

You can ask him to educate himself and you can provide information to help him understand. I think you need to tell him you need his support to be successful and that his comments are making you feel like you are incapable.
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Cruz-s-mommy
by Amanda on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:17 AM
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What?!? Why does it matter if shes nursing that long, you can sit and talk or watch a movie together. Also you can wear her in a sling and nurse while you go for a walk or something.

Not trying to be mean but why would you give her formula directly after nursing? That will just stretch her tummy and teach her to overeat, also possibly to have nipple confusion and a flow preference. And FYI to your DH, she would cry whether she was breastfed or not, she's a baby and babies cry!

Sorry your goin through this, but your DH needs to man up ( not trying to dis on him, but if he wants best for your DD, he will) and ditch the formula, nurse on demand.
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justone_jen
by Jen on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:17 AM
2 moms liked this
And throw the formula out or donate it to avoid temptation. You need baby at the breast for every feeding to ensure supply.
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GoodyBrook
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:19 AM
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I deal with stressful situations MUCH better when I'm by myself.  If he's upset at the baby being fussy and hungry, why don't you take the baby into your bedroom and take a nursing holiday away from your DH.

Keep doing your best, mama!

jjchick75
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this! Get rid of the formula and the bottles! If isn't there, it can't be given. Stand your ground and nurse your baby!


Quoting justone_jen:

And throw the formula out or donate it to avoid temptation. You need baby at the breast for every feeding to ensure supply.



kelmia2
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:10 AM

In the long run BFing will be easier, they don't feed as long or as often, you just have to get past the early days. He might just be getting frustrated because he wants to help but can't so instead he's making it worse.If your really confident in what your doing it might help him back off and calm down. I always looked it like I'm the mother its my job to feed the baby and I'll decide how I'm going to feed my baby- I suppose I looked it like it was my turf. My partner is very happy that i breast feed but he did get frustrated a couple of times in the early days and suggested formula. 

mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:37 AM
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My husband read the article "101 reasons to Breastfeed" and after that he did any and everything he could to make sure our babies never got formula. The health risks of using formula are too great to chance just to keep peace when dad's issues have no logical or medical support. It really makes me sad when we hear a dad is undermining a new mom's confidence and efforts and bullying her into making choices where the child pays the price. Print that article I mentioned and hand it to him and tell him you love his baby too much to *not* breastfeed and you hope he does too. And your baby very clearly isn't tolerating formula so he can't try and say its just as good.

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