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custody issues please help :-(

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:14 PM
  • 53 Replies
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 1 1/2. I can not take it anymore. We have been having issues since the beginning of our relationship. My daughter is almost 4 months. I am tired of doing everything on my own. He does not do nothing for her. Does not even hold her for 10min without me begging him. He is lazy do not want to spend time with us so we are always stuck in the house since do not have transportation. Even when we do he is always gone like he is now and when I ask to ride its a problem. He comes home plays his video games sleep and talk on the phone. I pay over half of the house bills. All of the household items I brought. And of course my daughter items was mostly me. When he does have money he spends it on people or unnecessary things. For example last week video games. I can not even buy for myself anymore.

Now when I can not take it anymore. He so want to serve me with some papers which he has not yet saying I can not leave with his child. he also has another child who is two and her my and I talk yesterday and told me she went through the same thing I went to. He does not do nothing for his older child either. I want to leave and go home I am from south Carolina but we are in Florida now. He has family and friends here and I have nothing. When he has a problem he always goes to his aunt but me no one to turn. My family is 9 hours away. I have help and support there.

When he gets mad he breaks things. We are in a new place and today he broke the door now I can not get my deposit back.

What can I do??? I want the best for daughter and I ??? I want to graduate and get my degree but I do not trust anyone watching my daughter family is best. I do not even trust him because he screams at her for just moving around. He has a anger issue.

His called me and told me somebody need to go before someone gets hurt and she hung up which was weird.

What are the Florida law for moving??? Will they stop me and yes his name is on the birth certificate?? Just want what's best!!!!

Sorry for venting
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KMS8907
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:30 PM
1 mom liked this

hun, if you want to leave and go home, you need to do it now before he does serve you with something for custody. Right now, if you leave there is nothing to do but he will eventually take you to court to arrange for visitation and what not. But if you can prove hes abusive and violent then you might be able to avoid him all together. Or at least he will only be allowed supervised visits if any.

lazyd
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:31 PM

Dont mean to be mean, but your post doesnt sound like you have good english skills?  How old are you?  It sounds like you picked a real "winner".  I would save your half of the money and buy bus tickets and LEAVE!!!!!  Or ask for your family to send you some money right away and LEAVE right away!!!  It doesnt matter that your BF's name is on the birth certificate.  If he wants custody/visitation than he will have to go to court and file the paperwork.  You can do what you want with your child.  Your baby is YOURS.  And in order to file for custody/visitation your BF will have to do a DNA test (im not sayin that your BF isnt the father - it is standard procedure).  Go to florida and file for child support.  This will automatically be taken out of his paycheck.  And if your BF fights for custody/visitation, than he will actually have to take care of his daughter and it sounds like he cant be bothered to do that, so he probably wont waste his time filing the paperwork.  Is the other mom of his older child gettin child support??  If your BF has to pay child support for both kids, than he wont have the money to buy/play video games.  PLEASE LEAVE NOW!  I dont care if you dont have the money.  Take what you can carry and call a cab and go to the nearest women's emergency shelter (look this up online, every city has one).  That way you'll than have time to collect your thoughts/things/money.  You are in an ABUSIVE relationship.  The best thing for your daughter is to take care of her needs and she doesnt need to be around an abusive father.  How do you pay for half of the house bills - do you work??  Cuz it doesnt sound like it - you state that you are stuck in the house all the time.   

RitzCrackerz
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:31 PM

Never been in this situation but I would say to pack up only the things you need and get out before he knows. Once your with your family start the paper work to get full custody of the child. Get yourself and your child out before something happens. 

KMS8907
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:38 PM
5 moms liked this

I dont think attacking her english skills or her choice of partner is helping the situation. Shes asking for advice on what to do. Not criticism.

Quoting lazyd:

Dont mean to be mean, but your post doesnt sound like you have good english skills?  How old are you?  It sounds like you picked a real "winner".  I would save your half of the money and buy bus tickets and LEAVE!!!!!  Or ask for your family to send you some money right away and LEAVE right away!!!  It doesnt matter that your BF's name is on the birth certificate.  If he wants custody/visitation than he will have to go to court and file the paperwork.  You can do what you want with your child.  Your baby is YOURS.  And in order to file for custody/visitation your BF will have to do a DNA test (im not sayin that your BF isnt the father - it is standard procedure).  Go to florida and file for child support.  This will automatically be taken out of his paycheck.  And if your BF fights for custody/visitation, than he will actually have to take care of his daughter and it sounds like he cant be bothered to do that, so he probably wont waste his time filing the paperwork.  Is the other mom of his older child gettin child support??  If your BF has to pay child support for both kids, than he wont have the money to buy/play video games.  PLEASE LEAVE NOW!  I dont care if you dont have the money.  Take what you can carry and call a cab and go to the nearest women's emergency shelter (look this up online, every city has one).  That way you'll than have time to collect your thoughts/things/money.  You are in an ABUSIVE relationship.  The best thing for your daughter is to take care of her needs and she doesnt need to be around an abusive father.  How do you pay for half of the house bills - do you work??  Cuz it doesnt sound like it - you state that you are stuck in the house all the time.   


 BabyFetus Ticker

Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:53 PM
I dont know the laws, but you are not married so i assume you can just leave, but you may also want to seek legal advice.as well.
mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:55 PM
Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I thought without a formal custody arrangement, if mom runs with the baby the dad can charge her with kidnapping, the same as if he took off with the baby. Crossing state lines can get messy.

I'd find safe shelter ASAP and see a lawyer first thing Monday morning about an emergency petition for full custody.
jackiewal10
by Silver Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this

But, not if she's just visiting.  He can't stop her from going to see her family, even if her visit lasts 2 months or something.  If she goes "not intending to stay" then there isn't anything he can do about it.  He can come to HER if he wants, be he can't force her back to Florida.  The same would hold true for him at this point.  It's his child as well. It isn't kidnapping because there ISN'T a formal agreement.  If there was an agreement, THEN it would be kidnapping. 

The emergency custody is a good idea.  I don't even think you need to see a lawyer for that.  I think it's just paperwork at the courthouse.

Quoting mostlymaydays:

Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I thought without a formal custody arrangement, if mom runs with the baby the dad can charge her with kidnapping, the same as if he took off with the baby. Crossing state lines can get messy.

I'd find safe shelter ASAP and see a lawyer first thing Monday morning about an emergency petition for full custody.


K8wizzo
by Kate on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:55 AM

Again, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that was only when mom and dad are married.

Regardless, get yourself safe and get a lawyer NOW.

Quoting mostlymaydays:

Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I thought without a formal custody arrangement, if mom runs with the baby the dad can charge her with kidnapping, the same as if he took off with the baby. Crossing state lines can get messy.

I'd find safe shelter ASAP and see a lawyer first thing Monday morning about an emergency petition for full custody.


TRS4
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:27 AM
1 mom liked this

i would go to the bartered women's shelter it would help ur case for showing that he is dangerous they will also help u get a restranig order u need to get one if u want  prove he is dangerous they can also help to get u out of town and know  what the laws are concerning ur situation

mom2astar
by Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 5:06 AM
I did have some pictures of it my marks he left after he hit me but I deleted them thinking he was going to change. I also had pictures of broken furniture but also delete. We had a case open with department of children family when my baby was a few weeks old and he thought they were friendly did not know they were writing anything down. But he admit of hitting me and pushing me down while pregnant. So they had him down for domestic violence and said he need counseling. Does this count



Quoting KMS8907:

hun, if you want to leave and go home, you need to do it now before he does serve you with something for custody. Right now, if you leave there is nothing to do but he will eventually take you to court to arrange for visitation and what not. But if you can prove hes abusive and violent then you might be able to avoid him all together. Or at least he will only be allowed supervised visits if any.


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