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Nighttime struggles...horribly bad !! Update

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 9:09 PM
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Hi all I don't post much here but I need help or to vent, or I don't know! I work full time as a nanny and go to school online full time , my daughter is 10months and I have a three and a half year old...saying I have a full plate is a huge understatement. Anyways Clem my daughter, was great at nursing to sleep being laid down between 8:30 and 9 after nursing to sleep and would sleep to 11 ish and then I would feed her and either bring her into bed and co sleep or lay her back down, it just depended on if I was staying up for homework or not. Away yes this has long since disappeared and now I am lucky if I get her to lay down for 15 mins at a time and this will go on all night unless I bring her into bed with me, I have tried not bf when I know she isn't hungry, dh has tried cuddling with her in bed but nothing works she just wants me! Wich I love but I am going to fail school if this keeps up I am resenting breastfeeding. At a year and a half old I stopped bf my son because I started having panic attacks, he was a lot like Clem but I could do homework with him in my arms, with her I can't because she wasn't both arms around her. She hates swaddling btw. Anyways if she would take formula I would go that way right now and I hate saying that but I am so stressed and just done! I do not want to do CIo but I don't know what to do ladies! I can't do this much longer becuase I can't pay two thousand out of pocket to re take a class ! I can't quit working we need money and my hours just increased because of summer and will increase to 50 hours a week int so weeks ( right now I am at 40 hrs). Help!! Someone please!! :(


UPDATe

thank you for all the responses so far and all the ideas and support. Last night went ok she slept about 40 mins then woke up I nursed her to sleep then laid her down on a blanket in the living room so I could do homework. She slept there for an hour and a half ish. By this time I was ready for bed so I jsut brought her into bed with me when she woke up ( I laid down next to her on the floor and cuddled for a bit and she woke up). Today I am trying one of the suggestions of feeding her more often during the day. Still don't have a set game plan for the future but I was able to get my small homework assignments done so its a start!

August 2012 Babies Group Mod- Christine- Due August 6th

by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 9:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Wyokrys
by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 9:13 PM

It kinda sounds like to me that she has you wrapped around her finger. Maybe you are going to need to lay her down and just let her cry for a little while until she knows its time for bed. Remember she is crying because she is mad not hurt, you know she is safe.  Make mom daughter time for her earlier. 

MusherMaggie
by Platinum Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 9:15 PM
A lot of milestones happen at ten months, which can be unsettling for a baby, no matter what the feeding method is. Can you leave the house to study and let dad take care of her?
polkaspots
by Gold Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 9:20 PM
Is the problem that you don't want her in bed with you, or that you're not in bed already when she wants to be in bed with you? I didn't quite get that. If she's wanting to sleep with you during your sleep time I don't see the issue. I do understand if you have more stuff to do and you can't get anything done because you're laying with her.
It doesn't sound like you really have a choice in the matter, aside from trying to get everything done before her bedtime(which I would imagine you're tried already). It sounds like your only choice practically is stop letting her know you're they're at night.
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Kathy489
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 9:23 PM
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Babies pick up on Mom's stress, so she probably senses your frustration and feeds off from it. I went through not being able to put my son down, too. He also wouldn't sleep for more than about 20 minutes without wanting to be picked up again. I don't think it's about being spoiled. It's about what the baby needs. Some of them are content to be left alone, and others need more affection and security. I don't have any answers. Just keep holding her, be as calm as you can be, and do what you can do as you go. You'd be surprised how we can improvise with one hand while we hold a child in the other. Try reading and doing your homework out loud so she can hear your voice. Maybe that would help to soothe her.

CByxbe
by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:03 PM



Quoting Kathy489:

Babies pick up on Mom's stress, so she probably senses your frustration and feeds off from it. I went through not being able to put my son down, too. He also wouldn't sleep for more than about 20 minutes without wanting to be picked up again. I don't think it's about being spoiled. It's about what the baby needs. Some of them are content to be left alone, and others need more affection and security. I don't have any answers. Just keep holding her, be as calm as you can be, and do what you can do as you go. You'd be surprised how we can improvise with one hand while we hold a child in the other. Try reading and doing your homework out loud so she can hear your voice. Maybe that would help to soothe her.


Hi, I was able to do this with my son but I cannot do that with her, I use an iPad, laptop, and pencil and paper so I need my hands. She won't sleep if I do my homework with her she hits the computer and throws my papers and kicks the ipd. 

August 2012 Babies Group Mod- Christine- Due August 6th

CByxbe
by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:05 PM



Quoting polkaspots:

Is the problem that you don't want her in bed with you, or that you're not in bed already when she wants to be in bed with you? I didn't quite get that. If she's wanting to sleep with you during your sleep time I don't see the issue. I do understand if you have more stuff to do and you can't get anything done because you're laying with her.
It doesn't sound like you really have a choice in the matter, aside from trying to get everything done before her bedtime(which I would imagine you're tried already). It sounds like your only choice practically is stop letting her know you're they're at night.


The biggest problem is I need to do homework at night and I cannot do it when she is wake. She wants me to Cosleep with her, ideally I wouldn't be cosleeping at all anymore but all I really want is time to do homework so I need her to go to bed at a decent time and sleep ! :(

August 2012 Babies Group Mod- Christine- Due August 6th

CByxbe
by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:07 PM

Quoting MusherMaggie:

A lot of milestones happen at ten months, which can be unsettling for a baby, no matter what the feeding method is. Can you leave the house to study and let dad take care of her?

I don't have time to do this....the only time to do homework is late at night and dh goes to bed early because he has to be up at 2:3o a.m. Most days. I was taking we'd. Mornings to leave the house and do homework but with my changed schedule I can't do this anymore. I have o time to get my homework done.

August 2012 Babies Group Mod- Christine- Due August 6th

CByxbe
by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:09 PM



Quoting Wyokrys:

It kinda sounds like to me that she has you wrapped around her finger. Maybe you are going to need to lay her down and just let her cry for a little while until she knows its time for bed. Remember she is crying because she is mad not hurt, you know she is safe.  Make mom daughter time for her earlier. 


Haha I am not sure if youa re right but you might be! I hate CIO, we tried with my son and it was horrible. I did it a few times with Clem when I would have to get ready int he morning for work and she refused to nap, but I hated it then too. However I am not sure what else to do, I don't want to wean but I am not sure how much longer I can keep bf. my son became a better sleeper once I cut bf out however he was one and half.

August 2012 Babies Group Mod- Christine- Due August 6th

K8wizzo
by Kate on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:10 PM

Can you put her in a sling or mei tai so that she's snuggled against you and you still have your hands free?  How often are you feeding her during the day?  My DS went through a stage when he was up 10-12 times per night nursing and I figured otu that it was because he was busy and not nursing enough during the day so he was trying to make up for it at night.

Emadele
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:12 PM
How about some sort of wrap or carrier? Leaves your hands/arms free but keeps her close like she wants to be. Can even feed in them.

Married to Russell (7/27/09), Momma to Haydn (5/27/10) and Donavyn (8/1/12).
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