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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

I feel like I'm failing at Breastfeeding....Help

My son will be 2 months this Thursday.... I've been doing my best to strictly breastfeed. Sometimes though I have to leave him, and I try pumping and I just can seem to get enough. I'm only pumping like 3oz a session. When I'm actually just feeding him he seems to eat enough, so why can't I pump enough. It's hard on me because I have to work so pumping is a must I think, and it seems like I cant hardly get any out of the left boob as I do the right. I drink lots of water, I've been eating much healthier. What is wrong. I feel stressed out, sad, I just want to cry I'm so frustrated, and the idea of quitting or giving him formula just makes me feel horrible and guilty. I really want to stick with the breastfeeding.. I'm feeling so discouraged

by on Jun. 15, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Replies (31-40):
Steph_G.
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 9:30 PM

I work full time, it feels wrong to say that when I am gone from 7am to 6pm that he should just eat as little as possible and "famine" while he waits on me.


Quoting gdiamante:

The idea is first, that bottles are only to be given when mom's not present, and second, that the bottle is merely a tide-over and NOT to fill him up. Baby should be HUNGRY when mom gets home. The breast is feast. The bottle is supposed to be famine. This is supply protection.  If you give five ounce bottles constantly you will eventually run into problems because then he'll nurse less at the breast, thus slowing supply.

Think of the bottle as the slice of toast you have when running out the door, and the breast as the Denny's Grand Slam. You want baby to take less at the bottle so he continues to stimulate your supply.

Quoting Steph_G.:

why would you so emphatically say that baby shouldn't get more than 3 ounces? My son is 7 weeks old and he consistently eats 4-5 ounces at the breast. (I've had him weighed before and after eating at a breast feeding support group every week), why when giving him a bottle would I force him to stop at 3 ounces?



gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Jun. 15, 2013 at 9:36 PM

I understand. But you should also know it's really common for babies to refuse to take even one ounce, for even that many hours! It's known as reverse cycling.

He's getting just what he needs and not any more. Often they actually need less! Daily total need is 24-30 ounces anyway.

The slow feeding is to protect your supply for as long as possible. I've been in groups like these for years, and without fail the moms who run into trouble are the ones who give their babies really big bottles.

I worked ten hour days myself, and mine never got more than 12 ounces in that period of time. He wouldn't take more than three ounces at a time, and often would take less. And yet he tanked up at the breast. No issues.

There are some tricks, too. The bottles are fed SLOWLY... never off the newborn nipple ever. and after every ounce the baby is given a good burp. The bottle is also held parallel to the floor. It should last a good 20 minutes.

Quoting Steph_G.:

I work full time, it feels wrong to say that when I am gone from 7am to 6pm that he should just eat as little as possible and "famine" while he waits on me.

Quoting gdiamante:

The idea is first, that bottles are only to be given when mom's not present, and second, that the bottle is merely a tide-over and NOT to fill him up. Baby should be HUNGRY when mom gets home. The breast is feast. The bottle is supposed to be famine. This is supply protection.  If you give five ounce bottles constantly you will eventually run into problems because then he'll nurse less at the breast, thus slowing supply.

Think of the bottle as the slice of toast you have when running out the door, and the breast as the Denny's Grand Slam. You want baby to take less at the bottle so he continues to stimulate your supply.

Quoting Steph_G.:

why would you so emphatically say that baby shouldn't get more than 3 ounces? My son is 7 weeks old and he consistently eats 4-5 ounces at the breast. (I've had him weighed before and after eating at a breast feeding support group every week), why when giving him a bottle would I force him to stop at 3 ounces?




K8wizzo
by Kate on Jun. 15, 2013 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this

This article explains the one ounce per hour rule really well.

One of the frequently asked questions of breastfeeding is “How much milk should I leave my baby while we are separated?”

The answers that I’ve seen vary. The answer that I subscribe to is “The One Ounce Per Hour Rule”.  (Which could be better described as the 1-1.25oz/hour rule).

The one ounce per hour rule is based on the average daily requirements of a breastfed infant who will take in 25oz/day of milk. (This does not vary much between one and six months). While amounts might be more or less during exclusive pumping / bottle feeding, the “One Ounce Per Hour” rule is considered the standard for shorter periods of mother and infant separation.

This method is the “breastfeeding friendly” method that is most likely to lead to longer term breastfeeding success. Other methods that allow on-demand feeding from bottles or that follow amount guidelines for formula fed babies often lead to supply decrease and early weaning or supplementation of non-human milk.

I’ve heard a lot of moms say that they are anxious about the one-ounce-per-hour rule of feeding a breastfed infant while separated from mom. I understand it. I was anxious as a new mom, too, and wanted to leave MORE than my baby needed because it hurt to leave him and I wanted to make sure he would be happy and satisfied while I was away.

The thing is.. It’s not starving your baby and it’s not letting your baby go hungry. It’s something your baby is already used to. The supply in your breasts is not static. It goes up and down across the day. Your baby is already used to this.

Your baby eats the same amount each day between one month and when solids are introduced. (A bit more during growth spurts- but this should happen at mom’s breast, since her supply has to scale.) This amount for breastfed babies averages out to 25oz/day with some babies eating as little as 19oz/day. Your supply is not static across the day, it increases and decreases across the day, so baby learns to nurse more during high supply hours, and less during low supply hours (which are typically in the evening)

What the one ounce per hour rule does is it encourages baby to view the bottle feeds as “low supply”, and mom-feeds as “high supply” and baby nurses more with mom and less with the bottle. Baby’s needs are met, not exceeded. More than one ounce per hour means baby finds bottle = high supply, breast = low supply, and starts fussing for more bottle, less mom. This means mom is stuck pumping HUGE amounts of milk.

This causes problems because the pump is ineffective. It’s like trying to siphon water out of a well with a drinking straw. It’s tedious, it’s boring, it’s a pain in the butt. Mom’s breasts let down easily to an eager baby, and noooot so well to a pump. 1-2oz per pumping session is actually EXCELLENT output. If baby is downing 2oz/hour or more than one ounce/hour? Mom would have to pump constantly at work to make up for it.

Better to convince baby that the bottle has a rotten supply and that it’s easier to gorge off mom. Easier on mom, easy enough on baby, and baby’s needs are more than met with the ounce per hour.

Sources: Average Intake of Breastmilk (Kellymom)

*** Important caveat: As with all “rules” there are exceptions. If mom and baby are routinely separated from each other during ALL of the highest supply hours of mom’s day and are only together briefly, the one ounce per hour rule might not work and baby may need more frequent feedings during separation. View the rule as a guideline and as a possible warning sign that your caregiver is overfeeding the baby or giving bottles that are too large/too frequent. It may not be the amount that is a problem but the bottle size. Maybe baby will do better with more frequent 2oz bottles. Maybe your pumping sessions need to be longer or more frequent in order to get milk of the right composition for what baby needs while separated. Never follow ANY rule that doesn’t work for your child.

Quoting Steph_G.:

I work full time, it feels wrong to say that when I am gone from 7am to 6pm that he should just eat as little as possible and "famine" while he waits on me.


Quoting gdiamante:

The idea is first, that bottles are only to be given when mom's not present, and second, that the bottle is merely a tide-over and NOT to fill him up. Baby should be HUNGRY when mom gets home. The breast is feast. The bottle is supposed to be famine. This is supply protection.  If you give five ounce bottles constantly you will eventually run into problems because then he'll nurse less at the breast, thus slowing supply.

Think of the bottle as the slice of toast you have when running out the door, and the breast as the Denny's Grand Slam. You want baby to take less at the bottle so he continues to stimulate your supply.

Quoting Steph_G.:

why would you so emphatically say that baby shouldn't get more than 3 ounces? My son is 7 weeks old and he consistently eats 4-5 ounces at the breast. (I've had him weighed before and after eating at a breast feeding support group every week), why when giving him a bottle would I force him to stop at 3 ounces?




Steph_G.
by Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 8:35 AM

well if we have issues I will consider this. I breastfed my daughter and she did not get a drop of formula for the first 6 months. I will admit that as we were approaching the 1 year mark I started really hating pumping so she ended up having a can and a half of formula over her life, but I never limited her food. 


Quoting gdiamante:

I understand. But you should also know it's really common for babies to refuse to take even one ounce, for even that many hours! It's known as reverse cycling.

He's getting just what he needs and not any more. Often they actually need less! Daily total need is 24-30 ounces anyway.

The slow feeding is to protect your supply for as long as possible. I've been in groups like these for years, and without fail the moms who run into trouble are the ones who give their babies really big bottles.

I worked ten hour days myself, and mine never got more than 12 ounces in that period of time. He wouldn't take more than three ounces at a time, and often would take less. And yet he tanked up at the breast. No issues.

There are some tricks, too. The bottles are fed SLOWLY... never off the newborn nipple ever. and after every ounce the baby is given a good burp. The bottle is also held parallel to the floor. It should last a good 20 minutes.

Quoting Steph_G.:

I work full time, it feels wrong to say that when I am gone from 7am to 6pm that he should just eat as little as possible and "famine" while he waits on me.

Quoting gdiamante:

The idea is first, that bottles are only to be given when mom's not present, and second, that the bottle is merely a tide-over and NOT to fill him up. Baby should be HUNGRY when mom gets home. The breast is feast. The bottle is supposed to be famine. This is supply protection.  If you give five ounce bottles constantly you will eventually run into problems because then he'll nurse less at the breast, thus slowing supply.

Think of the bottle as the slice of toast you have when running out the door, and the breast as the Denny's Grand Slam. You want baby to take less at the bottle so he continues to stimulate your supply.

Quoting Steph_G.:

why would you so emphatically say that baby shouldn't get more than 3 ounces? My son is 7 weeks old and he consistently eats 4-5 ounces at the breast. (I've had him weighed before and after eating at a breast feeding support group every week), why when giving him a bottle would I force him to stop at 3 ounces?






shortyali
by Alicia on Jun. 16, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

 Some babies sleep thruogh the night and go that long without nursing.  That isnt starving.  My DS2 nurses last at 5am and only takes 3ozs total between that time and when I get home around 2pm.  He is far from starved.  However, if you teach a person that they have to eat a large pizza at every sitting and have them do this every day for 3 meals a day for a few months, then one day drop them down to the normal slice or 2, they will think they are starving when in all reality its not.  Its just getting them used to whats size appropriate.

The weighing that you did, if you did it over 24 hours, you will notice that at some nursing sessions baby may take .5oz, where other times baby will take 6 or more ounces.  So going by the one that you did, if at that feeding baby only took 1oz, then you would be basing his eating off that 1 oz.

I look at bottles as if its Thanksgiving day.  You eat a very tiny, lite breakfast and maybe a snack if you eat dinner later.  Then once dinner is on the table, you eat all you want.  Bottles are breakfast and maybe that snack but when mom gets home, dinner is on the table.

Quoting Steph_G.:

I work full time, it feels wrong to say that when I am gone from 7am to 6pm that he should just eat as little as possible and "famine" while he waits on me.

 

Quoting gdiamante:

The idea is first, that bottles are only to be given when mom's not present, and second, that the bottle is merely a tide-over and NOT to fill him up. Baby should be HUNGRY when mom gets home. The breast is feast. The bottle is supposed to be famine. This is supply protection.  If you give five ounce bottles constantly you will eventually run into problems because then he'll nurse less at the breast, thus slowing supply.

Think of the bottle as the slice of toast you have when running out the door, and the breast as the Denny's Grand Slam. You want baby to take less at the bottle so he continues to stimulate your supply.

Quoting Steph_G.:

why would you so emphatically say that baby shouldn't get more than 3 ounces? My son is 7 weeks old and he consistently eats 4-5 ounces at the breast. (I've had him weighed before and after eating at a breast feeding support group every week), why when giving him a bottle would I force him to stop at 3 ounces?

 

 

 

twogirl91
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 10:05 AM

I can't pump at all, my milk won't let down for a pump. But 3oz per pumping session is really good, you are doing a great job!

amc103
by Alli on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:04 PM

I was looking for this the other day, thank you!!!!!! :-)

Quoting K8wizzo:

This article explains the one ounce per hour rule really well.

One of the frequently asked questions of breastfeeding is “How much milk should I leave my baby while we are separated?”

The answers that I’ve seen vary. The answer that I subscribe to is “The One Ounce Per Hour Rule”.  (Which could be better described as the 1-1.25oz/hour rule).

The one ounce per hour rule is based on the average daily requirements of a breastfed infant who will take in 25oz/day of milk. (This does not vary much between one and six months). While amounts might be more or less during exclusive pumping / bottle feeding, the “One Ounce Per Hour” rule is considered the standard for shorter periods of mother and infant separation.

This method is the “breastfeeding friendly” method that is most likely to lead to longer term breastfeeding success. Other methods that allow on-demand feeding from bottles or that follow amount guidelines for formula fed babies often lead to supply decrease and early weaning or supplementation of non-human milk.

I’ve heard a lot of moms say that they are anxious about the one-ounce-per-hour rule of feeding a breastfed infant while separated from mom. I understand it. I was anxious as a new mom, too, and wanted to leave MORE than my baby needed because it hurt to leave him and I wanted to make sure he would be happy and satisfied while I was away.

The thing is.. It’s not starving your baby and it’s not letting your baby go hungry. It’s something your baby is already used to. The supply in your breasts is not static. It goes up and down across the day. Your baby is already used to this.

Your baby eats the same amount each day between one month and when solids are introduced. (A bit more during growth spurts- but this should happen at mom’s breast, since her supply has to scale.) This amount for breastfed babies averages out to 25oz/day with some babies eating as little as 19oz/day. Your supply is not static across the day, it increases and decreases across the day, so baby learns to nurse more during high supply hours, and less during low supply hours (which are typically in the evening)

What the one ounce per hour rule does is it encourages baby to view the bottle feeds as “low supply”, and mom-feeds as “high supply” and baby nurses more with mom and less with the bottle. Baby’s needs are met, not exceeded. More than one ounce per hour means baby finds bottle = high supply, breast = low supply, and starts fussing for more bottle, less mom. This means mom is stuck pumping HUGE amounts of milk.

This causes problems because the pump is ineffective. It’s like trying to siphon water out of a well with a drinking straw. It’s tedious, it’s boring, it’s a pain in the butt. Mom’s breasts let down easily to an eager baby, and noooot so well to a pump. 1-2oz per pumping session is actually EXCELLENT output. If baby is downing 2oz/hour or more than one ounce/hour? Mom would have to pump constantly at work to make up for it.

Better to convince baby that the bottle has a rotten supply and that it’s easier to gorge off mom. Easier on mom, easy enough on baby, and baby’s needs are more than met with the ounce per hour.

Sources: Average Intake of Breastmilk (Kellymom)

*** Important caveat: As with all “rules” there are exceptions. If mom and baby are routinely separated from each other during ALL of the highest supply hours of mom’s day and are only together briefly, the one ounce per hour rule might not work and baby may need more frequent feedings during separation. View the rule as a guideline and as a possible warning sign that your caregiver is overfeeding the baby or giving bottles that are too large/too frequent. It may not be the amount that is a problem but the bottle size. Maybe baby will do better with more frequent 2oz bottles. Maybe your pumping sessions need to be longer or more frequent in order to get milk of the right composition for what baby needs while separated. Never follow ANY rule that doesn’t work for your child.

Quoting Steph_G.:

I work full time, it feels wrong to say that when I am gone from 7am to 6pm that he should just eat as little as possible and "famine" while he waits on me.


Quoting gdiamante:

The idea is first, that bottles are only to be given when mom's not present, and second, that the bottle is merely a tide-over and NOT to fill him up. Baby should be HUNGRY when mom gets home. The breast is feast. The bottle is supposed to be famine. This is supply protection.  If you give five ounce bottles constantly you will eventually run into problems because then he'll nurse less at the breast, thus slowing supply.

Think of the bottle as the slice of toast you have when running out the door, and the breast as the Denny's Grand Slam. You want baby to take less at the bottle so he continues to stimulate your supply.

Quoting Steph_G.:

why would you so emphatically say that baby shouldn't get more than 3 ounces? My son is 7 weeks old and he consistently eats 4-5 ounces at the breast. (I've had him weighed before and after eating at a breast feeding support group every week), why when giving him a bottle would I force him to stop at 3 ounces?





aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:47 PM
As others have said, the need is about 2-3 ounces every 2-3 hours. If you're fine for 6 hours, you could nurse right before you leave, leave one 3 ounce or two 2 ounce bottles and nurse as soon as you return. You would probably want to slowly reduce the amount given so it isn't too much of a shock to him.
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Steph_G.
by Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:23 PM

1. I feed on demand, so yes my son might go all night without eating, but I don't force him too.  Anyway it is good for him to sleep through the night, and I don't want him to eat little all day and then have to try and make it up in the middle of the night.

2. I weighed him every thursday at 10am,so yes I realize that every feeding isn't 5 oz, but at 10am he likes to eat 5 oz and at 10am I am at work

3. I don't think I could explain to my 3 yo that we are having a buffet for dinner so ignore your hunger now because you can eat later. This is why at Thanksgiving dinner she only eats a small plate, it's us as adults that think it makes sense to skip meals so that we can over indulge at one meal, so I don't know why my 7 week old should be able to rationalize this.

If this works for you great, but I didn't see the need to say a baby should not have more than 3 oz in a bottle ever. Just feed him slowly and don't force him to finish the bottle, but if he eats 5 oz then he eats 5 oz.

Quoting shortyali:

 Some babies sleep thruogh the night and go that long without nursing.  That isnt starving.  My DS2 nurses last at 5am and only takes 3ozs total between that time and when I get home around 2pm.  He is far from starved.  However, if you teach a person that they have to eat a large pizza at every sitting and have them do this every day for 3 meals a day for a few months, then one day drop them down to the normal slice or 2, they will think they are starving when in all reality its not.  Its just getting them used to whats size appropriate.

The weighing that you did, if you did it over 24 hours, you will notice that at some nursing sessions baby may take .5oz, where other times baby will take 6 or more ounces.  So going by the one that you did, if at that feeding baby only took 1oz, then you would be basing his eating off that 1 oz.

I look at bottles as if its Thanksgiving day.  You eat a very tiny, lite breakfast and maybe a snack if you eat dinner later.  Then once dinner is on the table, you eat all you want.  Bottles are breakfast and maybe that snack but when mom gets home, dinner is on the table.

Quoting Steph_G.:

I work full time, it feels wrong to say that when I am gone from 7am to 6pm that he should just eat as little as possible and "famine" while he waits on me.


Quoting gdiamante:

The idea is first, that bottles are only to be given when mom's not present, and second, that the bottle is merely a tide-over and NOT to fill him up. Baby should be HUNGRY when mom gets home. The breast is feast. The bottle is supposed to be famine. This is supply protection.  If you give five ounce bottles constantly you will eventually run into problems because then he'll nurse less at the breast, thus slowing supply.

Think of the bottle as the slice of toast you have when running out the door, and the breast as the Denny's Grand Slam. You want baby to take less at the bottle so he continues to stimulate your supply.

Quoting Steph_G.:

why would you so emphatically say that baby shouldn't get more than 3 ounces? My son is 7 weeks old and he consistently eats 4-5 ounces at the breast. (I've had him weighed before and after eating at a breast feeding support group every week), why when giving him a bottle would I force him to stop at 3 ounces?



 



gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:40 PM
2 moms liked this

Steph, we're just going to have to disagree. And I will keep my fingers crossed that you are one of the rare exceptions who never sees a problem.

(But since you mentioned sleeping through the night, gop throw salt ver your shoulder. Publishing usually mens it will change soon! **grin**)

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