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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

I feel like a failure...

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 8:23 AM
  • 30 Replies

I want to breastfeed my newborn baby so bad and it makes me sad that I can't... It hurts too much and I had to give into a bottle of formula since my nipple started to bleed,... I want to bond with her and enjoy that and I can't, makes me want to breakdown and cry.




ETA: Thanks to all you mommas! For all the great advice, After one painful week of breastfeeding I still didn't give up I did use a nipple shield, still using it (not completely healed) and some lanolin cream i got through it, and it is much easier to breastfeed now we are both enjoying breastfeeding time! :) Im so happy i didn't give up, I'm stil a little sore but it's not as bad as it was before.

by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 8:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MusherMaggie
by Platinum Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Look in the resources post and on kellymom.com for information on how to latch correctly. Make sire she opens her mouth wide and takes not only the nipples by some of the surrounding areola as well. Unlatch and relatch until it's right. Look also at LLLI.org for information about breastfeeding groups near you, and access to Lactation consultants. Don't give up--it does get better, and 99% of problems can be fixed!
isaacsmommy68
by Bronze Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this

The first 2 weeks are hell. I wont lie about that. But, if you keep working at it, it becomes easier and worth it.  You have to get the latch right or you will be sore and bleeding. Do you have a lactation consultant you can go to? They will help with the latch. It can be fixed. Keep trying dont give up yet. Hug!!!

gee18
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:10 AM
Thank you I am looking into all that,


Quoting MusherMaggie:

Look in the resources post and on kellymom.com for information on how to latch correctly. Make sire she opens her mouth wide and takes not only the nipples by some of the surrounding areola as well. Unlatch and relatch until it's right. Look also at LLLI.org for information about breastfeeding groups near you, and access to Lactation consultants. Don't give up--it does get better, and 99% of problems can be fixed!

gee18
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Thank you! I heard this too and I'm not giving up, I'm getting help right now


Quoting isaacsmommy68:

The first 2 weeks are hell. I wont lie about that. But, if you keep working at it, it becomes easier and worth it.  You have to get the latch right or you will be sore and bleeding. Do you have a lactation consultant you can go to? They will help with the latch. It can be fixed. Keep trying dont give up yet. Hug!!!


mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:20 AM
4 moms liked this
When my first was born before he hit 2 weeks it was clear I was in over my head and our issues were threatening to sink us. My hospital has a breastfeeding moms support group that meets 3 days a week. And I went all 3 days for many months. Met with different LCs who helped me with new problems as they popped up, and I met other breastfeeding moms who'd survived the same problems I'd had. And I watched dozens of new moms walk in, crying just like I had. Without that support group I never would have made it a month let alone the 15 months I hit. And my later babies were nursed even longer. Call your hospital's childbirth education dept and ask what they offer AFTER breastfeeding baby is born.
mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:22 AM
And as the mother of 4 breastfed babies, I'm going to also say the first few weeks are grueling. (The 3 week growth spurt is a monster). Don't try having people over to visit the baby yet. Don't worry about the house. Just concentrate completely on the baby.
MommyO2-6631
by Leslie on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this
If your nipples are damaged try a nipple shield to allow it to heal. It's OK if your nipples bleed a little. It won't hurt baby. You're doing great mom!
isaacsmommy68
by Bronze Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this

 

My SIL just had a baby and she is going through the same thing. When I told her it is normal, she calmed a down a little. It is hard being a mom! Hormones dont help. There is a lot of support out there, you just need to find them. Your not a failure.

Quoting gee18:

Thank you! I heard this too and I'm not giving up, I'm getting help right now


Quoting isaacsmommy68:

The first 2 weeks are hell. I wont lie about that. But, if you keep working at it, it becomes easier and worth it.  You have to get the latch right or you will be sore and bleeding. Do you have a lactation consultant you can go to? They will help with the latch. It can be fixed. Keep trying dont give up yet. Hug!!!



 

Dibsy
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:07 AM
2 moms liked this
There's no doubt that breastfeeding is the ideal option, but here's the thing that nobody ever tells you- you are not doing wrong by your baby if you can't. Try by all means but you shouldn't feel like a failure at all! I was beaten down and shamed for not being able to at first with my son, and people made me feel awful and low like I was just doing the worst thing. Eventually, from sheer dogged determination I did, but if you formula feed for whatever reason, don't feel bad! You're feeding that baby and its a healthy baby so you're doing great!

And sure, it's bonding, but that's not the sole means of bonding and there are women who breastfeed that don't feel they bond and women that bottle feed that bond in amazing ways. I was a bottle baby and my mother and I have a closer bond than I can express. Not to mention I've never had any problems with my immunity or have lived a lesser life because I never breastfed! So try, absolutely, it's a mothers right to breastfeed and its great to breastfeed but don't ever ever let anyone drag you down or make you feel inferior because you can't. I know how it feels and I wish someone had told me this very thing.
Analugojana
by Christine on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:12 AM
2 moms liked this

Has the baby been checked for a tongue or lip tie?

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