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I give up :(

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 2:23 PM
  • 39 Replies

 I took serenity too an acutal pedi today instead of a family dr. The last dr tried to tell me i need to force her to take formula with cereal in it to give her more calories cause she is not gaining like they want. Ive posted here a few times and from what everyone says she is gaining just fine, she is just small. But quick history she was born at 6.14 lowest got to 6.10 today she was 11.1, i have tryed to give her bottles to supplament and it dont matter what i have in them she will refuse every type of bottle, short of leaving her with someone else all day and them letting her scream till she is hungry enough to take one she will just not do it, and im not up for leaving her all day. I do not believe there is anything wrong with her but now this pedi is saying almost the SAME thing, she says i need to get more calories in her and my milk is not working good enough. SHe brought up social services. What really sucks is i live in a small area so ther are not alot of dr's, now she has seen just about all of them within an hour drive from me and they are all saying the same thing. So i called my grandma who's judgement i trust more than about anybody's and she said maybe i should just try one or two feedings a day for the next three weeks till her 6 month check and see what happens, if she doesn't have a chane in her weight then be like "i tried your way now will you leave her be" so i mixed up a little and tried it and she makes a nasty face then gags, so i added more milk to make it more runny and she still gags so im thinking shes just not ready, so now what? Do i keep trying or what? Im so fustrated and feel like giving up completly. ANd my husband dont really have any advise, he just supports any decision i make and then my mom just dont give me much support either.  I feel like im failing my baby and maybe my milk is just not good enough and maybe thats why i had this same problem with my son, once i gave in he started to gain better, and with my oldest i only nursed 3 months so never had weight issues.So far i have made it 5 1/2 months with her. She has hit all her other mile stones but her weight. I just dont know what to do.

by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 2:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Jul. 17, 2013 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting carranzasfaith:

 I took serenity too an acutal pedi today instead of a family dr. The last dr tried to tell me i need to force her to take formula with cereal in it to give her more calories cause she is not gaining like they want. Ive posted here a few times and from what everyone says she is gaining just fine, she is just small. But quick history she was born at 6.14 lowest got to 6.10 today she was 11.1,

Age in weeks? You never updated her age in your profile but you're in Feb 2013 Moms. I think she was born in January? So I'd expect her to have put on seven pounds, but you report five pounds. Which is lower than I'd like to see.

i have tryed to give her bottles to supplament and it dont matter what i have in them she will refuse every type of bottle, short of leaving her with someone else all day and them letting her scream till she is hungry enough to take one she will just not do it, and im not up for leaving her all day. I do not believe there is anything wrong with her but now this pedi is saying almost the SAME thing, she says i need to get more calories in her and my milk is not working good enough. SHe brought up social services. What really sucks is i live in a small area so ther are not alot of dr's, now she has seen just about all of them within an hour drive from me and they are all saying the same thing. So i called my grandma who's judgement i trust more than about anybody's and she said maybe i should just try one or two feedings a day for the next three weeks till her 6 month check and see what happens, if she doesn't have a chane in her weight then be like "i tried your way now will you leave her be" so i mixed up a little and tried it and she makes a nasty face then gags, so i added more milk to make it more runny and she still gags so im thinking shes just not ready, so now what? Do i keep trying or what? Im so fustrated and feel like giving up completly. ANd my husband dont really have any advise, he just supports any decision i make and then my mom just dont give me much support either.  I feel like im failing my baby and maybe my milk is just not good enough and maybe thats why i had this same problem with my son, once i gave in he started to gain better, and with my oldest i only nursed 3 months so never had weight issues.So far i have made it 5 1/2 months with her. She has hit all her other mile stones but her weight. I just dont know what to do.

OK, 5.5 months old? And she's put on five pounds? ONE POUND per month is all she's supposed to hit.

I think you need to start ignoring the docs and stop weighing her at all.


melindabelcher
by mel on Jul. 17, 2013 at 2:52 PM
Theres no issues here.
Ive been down the "your baby is to small" road for a long time!! My youngest is currently 15mo and 16lbs. You can continue seeing your dr for well visits. If they bring up the weight just comment that your not concerned and shes doing so great in her milestones.
Let them call social services if they feel they need to. The social services is so swamped with cases and not enough homes that they do everything possible to leaves kids with their family. a typical weight gain is nothing to take a baby away for. Document when shes hit her milestones and her wet diaper count.
MommyO2-6631
by Leslie on Jul. 17, 2013 at 2:58 PM
I do not suggest not going back to the doctor. I would suggest however to make the one hour drive. Find a lactation consultant and have her refer you to a breastfeeding friendly doc. Or a LLL. I promise your milk is not to blame. If they are *already* threatening social services then they will likely make the call if you do not show up to your next appointment or prove to them that you have found another doctor (such as having her new doctors office request her chart). This happened to a woman in one of my due date groups. Social services told her if she did not start force feeding her daughter formula then they would take her away if she didn't gain weight. I know it sucks living in the middle of nowhere. I have to drive an hour once a week to take my son to therapy. But I would nurse, nurse, nurse until her six month appointment and then not make another and take the time to find a new doctor.
IrishIz
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:50 PM

Her weight gain...not excessive but within normal.  She's a normal but slower grower...so many babies over achieve and so people get used to babies gaining tons of weight.  The cereal...skip it...it won't help and if anything might do damage.  If you want to try and increase weight...increase nursing sessions.

Diaper counts good?  She's meeting milestones as you said.  She's not sleeping a ton?

themissheather
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:55 PM
Are the docs using the WHO breastfeeding charts? If not that might be why they think her weight is off.
Aslen
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:02 PM
2 moms liked this
HORRIBLE ADVICE! If output is good, and milestones are met, then screw the doctor! Ask the doctor how much he's paid for every baby he puts on formula.

Fucking IDIOTS
Cruz-s-mommy
by Amanda on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:03 PM
Everyone in this group has pretty much been right. You are getting bad advice IRL. Your DD is perfect!!! These doctors are whacko. Just nod and smile and keep that baby at the breast, supplementation is not needed in the slightest and rice cereal will only do damage, if anything. Even the AAP no longer recommend infant cereals.
Mom2Just1
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Weight is good.  I would find a new doc.

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carranzasfaith
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you guys, I'm thinking I'm going to ask the local Lactation consultant for a recommended Dr, she has been doing her job for about 30 years and a few of her kids were slow weight gainers as well so hopefully she can help me out.
Aslen
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 7:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Quoting carranzasfaith:

Thank you guys, I'm thinking I'm going to ask the local Lactation consultant for a recommended Dr, she has been doing her job for about 30 years and a few of her kids were slow weight gainers as well so hopefully she can help me out.

That's just it: it's NOT slow weight gain! Her weight gain is perfectly normal.... for a breastfed baby!
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