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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

why can't they be more supportive?

Posted by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 7:40 PM
  • 10 Replies
I hate that my parents, especially my dad, get ashamed of how I feed my baby. Usually I take a light blanket and cover up a little but today my mom got my one month old and I didn't notice she didn't get the blanket. She always has a blanket with her so I don't know why she didn't take it. My dad got real mad when I started feeding her and my mom told me to cover up.
I felt like I should be ashamed of myself or something. I love feeding my baby. I wasn't able to breastfeed my first baby so I'm so proud that I have a month breastfeeding DD2 and still growing strong. It just really discourages me that my parents don't support.

Sorry if its hard to understand. I'm crying, feeding my baby, and trying to get my feeling out. :'(
by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 7:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Junebaby18
by Nannerz on Jul. 22, 2013 at 7:56 PM
Have you asked them why they feel that you should cover up while feeding your baby? Ask them if you fed the baby a bottle in front of them would you have to cover up too?

Personally, I wouldn't go back over there anymore if I couldn't feed my child without being shamed for it.
lizz08
by Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:20 PM
No. But since my own mother didn't breastfeed I know they prefer to bottle feed.

And that's impossible at the moment. I'm a single mom who is still looking for a job to get housing faster or have enough to rent and have for light and water. With what their dad sends me isn't enough so I have to tough it out here until I can afford something.


Quoting Junebaby18:

Have you asked them why they feel that you should cover up while feeding your baby? Ask them if you fed the baby a bottle in front of them would you have to cover up too?



Personally, I wouldn't go back over there anymore if I couldn't feed my child without being shamed for it.

Junebaby18
by Nannerz on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:25 PM
Ask them point blank. "What is wrong with how I'm feeding your grandchild? Do you not want what is the best possible nutrition for your grandbaby?" Don't be accusatory, but just a simple question.
MusherMaggie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:30 PM
Ask them what it is they think they see other than a baby being fed the way God intended. Calmly, without anger. Tell them you're not willing to substitute what's best with an artificial chemical concoction.
elzmnsf
by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:48 PM
2 moms liked this
Normally I would never ever say this, but in this case I will. I don't like that they are making you feel ashamed and sad. It is taking away from your joy and baby moon. Maybe for your sanity and so that you can enjoy these fleeting and intensely special moments that you can never ever get back, you should find a quiet spot away from them to nurse for now. Even if that means behind the closed door of your room. Don't mistake this for me saying you should hide away, I think their attitude is crap but since you have to live there, I want you to remember your nursing days like I do. Milky smiles and drowsy milk coma eyes, smiles from behind the breast. If they can't make their comments during the special moments then maybe you'll be able to brush them aside more easily. Sorry your parents are being so horrid, I am eternally grateful that when I lived with my parents I could just whip it out wherever and they'd just smile (even though my mom never bf'd either).
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lizz08
by Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:50 PM
I haven't asks why the feel I should cover up but I have asked why do they have to tell me stuff about it. And make me feel bad. My mothers response "your dad doesn't like it." That's all she says and walks away.
lizz08
by Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:55 PM
I totally understand what your saying. And maybe you have a point there. I especially don't want to get discouraged enough to stop breastfeeding. I just wished they'd changed their ways and support me. At least a little.


Quoting elzmnsf:

Normally I would never ever say this, but in this case I will. I don't like that they are making you feel ashamed and sad. It is taking away from your joy and baby moon. Maybe for your sanity and so that you can enjoy these fleeting and intensely special moments that you can never ever get back, you should find a quiet spot away from them to nurse for now. Even if that means behind the closed door of your room. Don't mistake this for me saying you should hide away, I think their attitude is crap but since you have to live there, I want you to remember your nursing days like I do. Milky smiles and drowsy milk coma eyes, smiles from behind the breast. If they can't make their comments during the special moments then maybe you'll be able to brush them aside more easily. Sorry your parents are being so horrid, I am eternally grateful that when I lived with my parents I could just whip it out wherever and they'd just smile (even though my mom never bf'd either).

elzmnsf
by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 9:00 PM
I wish that for you too. Sometimes people suck, even our parents. But remember that your baby is only this little once, so don't let any negative people cloud your memories! My kids are 7 and 11, and I wish I could just get one more day of their little squishy baby faces and them needing me for everything. Sounds funny because I remember how hard those days were, but the mental images I have of them then are priceless to me!


Quoting lizz08:

I totally understand what your saying. And maybe you have a point there. I especially don't want to get discouraged enough to stop breastfeeding. I just wished they'd changed their ways and support me. At least a little.




Quoting elzmnsf:

Normally I would never ever say this, but in this case I will. I don't like that they are making you feel ashamed and sad. It is taking away from your joy and baby moon. Maybe for your sanity and so that you can enjoy these fleeting and intensely special moments that you can never ever get back, you should find a quiet spot away from them to nurse for now. Even if that means behind the closed door of your room. Don't mistake this for me saying you should hide away, I think their attitude is crap but since you have to live there, I want you to remember your nursing days like I do. Milky smiles and drowsy milk coma eyes, smiles from behind the breast. If they can't make their comments during the special moments then maybe you'll be able to brush them aside more easily. Sorry your parents are being so horrid, I am eternally grateful that when I lived with my parents I could just whip it out wherever and they'd just smile (even though my mom never bf'd either).


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shortyali
by Alicia on Jul. 22, 2013 at 9:08 PM
I know it's crappy but I agree with above. You should be enjoying this time. I have asked not set of my parents (my mom, dad and step mom) why they make such a big deal out of me nursing. My dd said something along the lines of he didn't want to admit his baby girl had boobs and had babies. My mom and step mom pretty much said they didn't bf and didn't know much about it so it makes them uncomfortable. In my own house I do not cover. Don't care who's there, it's my space I do as I please. Now at their houses I do cover or go to another room, especially at my dads.
GoodyBrook
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:08 AM
2 moms liked this

Knowing your financial situation, you'd think they'd at least be supportive of the financial aspect of breastfeeding:  It's totally free!  Would they rather you spend hundreds of dollars per months of formula AND risk your LO's health in the process?!

Their reaction is their problem.  Don't let it become yours...  :(  Hugs, mama!

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