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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Jealousy?

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 8:42 AM
  • 8 Replies
1 mom liked this
I am still going strong with nursing my 21mo.

Lately, many moms I run into seem to get jealous that I have made it so long. No one is mean or rude about it, but sometimes I am made to feel almost guilty for being able to do what I can do.

Does anyone have advice on how to handle this situation delicately? I don't feel like I need to educate these women, since most know the biological norms, but I don't know how to handle the comments like "you are so lucky you have the ability to do that - I had to stop because of x,y,z and I regret it". I don't feel lucky. Nursing a toddler is hard work and there are days I really don't want to, but my son needs me still!
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 8:42 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Ms.Pteranodon
by Silver Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 11:01 AM
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I hear comments like that too! People will see me breast freedoms and say " oh I couldn't breast feed because I didn't have enough milk" or "he/she wouldn't eat."

Most of the time their excuse was something that could have been easily fixed, and while I could correct them I know that it helps them feel better.

I typically nod and say "thanks I really am lucky."

But if the person is being really snotty and I'm in a bitchy mood I might be a little snarky and say something like "every body has their problems but if its important you work through them. It is important to me that I give my child the best for as long as possible."
Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Jul. 27, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Maybe just listen, and educate if the oppportunity arises. For instance if a mom.says "my nipples were flat" i would say mine were too, and this is what we did.
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Jul. 27, 2013 at 11:56 AM
2 moms liked this

"Thanks. Great weahter we're having today."

Simply thank them and change the subject. It doesn't need discussion. If someone persists, tell them everyone's experiences are different. And change the subject.

R3G1N4_L0V3
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 12:21 PM

same! My daughter will be 18 months and peoples reaction is "she still breastfeeding"...it's like what's it to us lol

audmom1218
by Silver Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 10:02 PM

My typical response is, "We had our fair share of hiccups, but luckily I had some great resources that helped me through" 

Most of the moms that I know and associate with regularly who at least try are successful though.  I had one cousin who stopped at 3 months because her dd was eating for 45 min at a time.  Now she knows that that was normal, but she was afriad she was starving her DD.  That DD is now 3 and she is nursing her 2 week old.

My other cousin nursed to 20 months with all 3 of hers, and another cousins wife nursed until 22 months.  We are a family of perfectionists, I guess!  All or nothing!! (We are at 19 months with no end in sight) 

sarahtbkh
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:13 AM

It was beat into my head by my therapist...you are not responsable for how others feel. I'd just say "yep it's great, I hope your able to nurse for as long as you want next time!"
I think it's great that people are encouraging. I nurse my babies till about 2 (sometimes a little older if they are difficult to wean) and I always get "OMG Your still nursing the baby?!" and not in a good way lol!

SteffM0501
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:49 AM

Maybe they're just making polite conversation, or you could simply say "I'm sorry you had to stop nursing, but I'm sure you made the best decision for your situation" don't make them feel bad because they had to stop regardless of why they stopped.

Momma2013
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:13 AM

 LOVE THIS!!! I wanna just say that to someone completely straight faced also!

Quoting Ms.Pteranodon:

I hear comments like that too! People will see me breast freedoms and say " oh I couldn't breast feed because I didn't have enough milk" or "he/she wouldn't eat."

Most of the time their excuse was something that could have been easily fixed, and while I could correct them I know that it helps them feel better.

I typically nod and say "thanks I really am lucky."

But if the person is being really snotty and I'm in a bitchy mood I might be a little snarky and say something like "every body has their problems but if its important you work through them. It is important to me that I give my child the best for as long as possible."

 

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