The Dangers of Taking Your Kids With You to the OBGYN
by Michele Zipp
I'd like to think I can take my children anywhere. And I do ... within reason. For example I'd take my kids to the bar provided it was what I would think is an appropriate atmosphere but I'd never ever take them when I need to shop for shoes. Some things are sacred. And although I believe my lady parts are sacred as well, they have also been shared by my kids being that I once housed them within the depths of my body. So, when it came time for me to go to my annual OBGYN appointment and I didn't have a sitter, my 3 1/2 year old twins came along, too. And perhaps because of Doc McStuffins or the fact that we have an open door policy even when using the bathroom in our house, both my son and my daughter were very curious as to what exactly the doctor was doing between Mommy's legs.
"Mommy's vagina is sick," is what they told the Doc. And it's also what they told my mother when she came to visit the next day.
For the record, my vagina is not sick thankyouverymuch. The doctor didn't have to take any ouchies away because -- remember -- this was just a yearly exam. But of course my mom hears my daughter saying my vagina is sick makes her mind wander.
"Is something wrong?" she asked me very concerned.
"No, just a yearly visit. Pap, breast exam, I even had a rectal. That was unexpected."
"But your vagina is okay?"
"Yes, mom. My vagina is fine. Can we talk about that rectal? Lots of lube!"
Yes, I'd rather talk about a finger up my ass than my mom thinking something is wrong with my vagina when there is nothing wrong with my vagina except maybe it could use a waxing.
"Mommy's vagina was sick but she went to the doctor and now she feels better. So much better," my daughter says.
"Yeah, we went to the vagina doctor," my son chimes in.
I can't win.
Maybe taking your kids everywhere isn't such a good idea. They like to talk and no one likes to talk about going to the vagina doctor. I'm just glad they didn't say, Mommy took us out so she can drink a fancy Mommy-only drink and then we had to go to the vagina doctor. What would people think then?! Maybe shoe shopping shouldn't be off limits.
By the way, my Pap came back normal (just like everything else) in case you were wondering.
Have you ever had to take your kids to the vagina doctor and regretted it?
Image via Stephanie Costa/Flickr