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Breastfeeding Concerns - Help??

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 6:07 AM
  • 18 Replies

I currently have two son's, they are 10 year old twins.  They weren't breastfed because I didn't produce enough milk to feed them both.  My Dr. said that I could alternate and such...but being my first pregnacy and knowing it would be difficult as is, I wanted to do one or the other, so I bottle fed.  


Now, I think that I'm pregnant (pretty good chance).  The problem is that with both pregnacies (my 2nd, I was a saragent for my mother), I have a very hard time getting a possitive test.  With the saragent pregnacy, It wasn't till I was 3 months that I got a possitive test...I even got a negative blood test!  I've taken a First Response test, which non surprisingly, came up negative.  However, I'm having all the signs I did both times that I was prego before.  


My concern is that if I am pregnant, and I've been giving it a lot of thought the last week or so (if I am, I'd only be about 3 weeks at most)...is whether or not to breastfeed.  I can see all of the advantage's and the pro's definatly outweight the con's.  But, the thing that I'm worried about the most is too much of an attachment in a bad way.  For example...baby not sleeping without me, always having to be in my bed or can't sleep, finding a babysitter that can put up with a screaming baby since i won't be there if i'm working...and other's along those lines.  For the mothers that have breastfed, have you had any issues like this?  I love being close to my children and having that bond, but I want them to be social and not need me to the extent that they aren't open to all the other things that life has to offer.  

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 6:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pagan_Mommy84
by Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 6:08 AM

BUMP!

audmom1218
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:45 AM
1 mom liked this
1.) infants are supposed to be close to their mommies at all times. You don't HAVE to bed share but it sure makes things easier and let's you get more sleep. Studies have shown that moms who bf get more sleep and better sleep.

2.) the attachment you're worried about may occur whether or not the child is bf. It's the child's temperament that dictates this not the feeding method. My dd is definitely attached to the breast as much as she can when I'm home but I have never once had a problem leaving her with a sitter. (But due to my personality it's harder on me). My BFF ff all 3 of her kids. Her oldest 2 are as independent as can be and have been all along. Her baby (now 3) is glued to moms side and she has a very hard time leaving her with a sitter. It's nothing she did wrong as a parent, just her dd's personality.

Eta. Dd transitioned from needing to nurse to sleep 100% of the time to 0% all on her own around 11 months. Andhee own room at 12 mo. My view is sleeping is like walking and they get it when they're ready. They know how to fall asleep. You don't need to worry about teaching them to do that.

Hope that helps.
mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Google and read "101 Reasons to breastfeed". I honestly can't think of a downside to breastfeeding. All 4 of my babies were breastfed, with never a bottle. Babies aren't supposed to be "independent". Trust and attachment are important elements in how a human brain is wired for future behavior and relationships.
MommyO2-6631
by Leslie on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Yes. My fourteen month old likes to be around me all the time. I enjoy being around him all the time too.

Does he do well with a sitter? Yes. He forgets all about me. Out of sight out of mind.

Can he go to sleep without me? Yes. Again, out of sight out of mind.

Does he sleep in my bed? Yes. But my older FF son also bedshared until he was five (his dad wouldn't put him in his own bed when he was visiting with him).

Is my fourteen month old fussier than my formula fed baby? No. Biggest reason: less tummy upsets. Formula really messed my older sons tummy up. He is still chronically constipated because of it and is often more whiney than the fourteen month old, even now.

Is my son attached to me in a bad way? No. He is very independent. I never sleep trained him. I never let him CIO and he is a very happy, well adjusted, independent boy. He goes to sleep on his own, plays by himself very well, and is a joy for everyone to be around.
lucydiamond
by Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:54 AM
Saragent? Is that suppose to be surrogate?
Char06
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 11:02 AM
Mine have only been in my room when they are very little because its easier for night feelings but they never has issues transferring to their crib in their own rooms.

Babies are supposed to be attached to their mothers :-) but every child is different. My oldest never liked to be held other than for nursing she would rather lay in her bed, swing, play on the floor, etc.
My middle child did like to be held even while not nursing but she didn't have a problem laying in her swing if I needed to do things.
Neither of them had issues staying with people, they loved being watched by their grandma or aunts.
Both of them, once they reached a certain age went to sleep perfectly fine on their own.

Every baby is different, even some bottle fed babies have issues sleeping on their own, separation anxiety, etc.
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Aug. 21, 2013 at 11:42 AM


Quoting Pagan_Mommy84:

I currently have two son's, they are 10 year old twins.  They weren't breastfed because I didn't produce enough milk to feed them both.  My Dr. said that I could alternate and such...but being my first pregnacy and knowing it would be difficult as is, I wanted to do one or the other, so I bottle fed.  

Your doc should have told you it's quite possible to nurse twins. My breastfeeding mentor did, more than 20 years ago, no formula ever given. And she couldn't pump even ONE drop of milk ever. So... keep that in mind as you proceed.The last person to ask for breastfeeding advice is generally your doc.

Now, I think that I'm pregnant (pretty good chance).  The problem is that with both pregnacies (my 2nd, I was a saragent for my mother), I have a very hard time getting a possitive test.  With the saragent pregnacy, It wasn't till I was 3 months that I got a possitive test...I even got a negative blood test!  I've taken a First Response test, which non surprisingly, came up negative.  However, I'm having all the signs I did both times that I was prego before.  

Saragent? Oh, surrogate!

My concern is that if I am pregnant, and I've been giving it a lot of thought the last week or so (if I am, I'd only be about 3 weeks at most)...is whether or not to breastfeed.  I can see all of the advantage's and the pro's definatly outweight the con's.  But, the thing that I'm worried about the most is too much of an attachment in a bad way.  For example...baby not sleeping without me, always having to be in my bed or can't sleep, finding a babysitter that can put up with a screaming baby since i won't be there if i'm working...and other's along those lines.

That can happen with ANY baby no matter what the feeding method. Those are BABY issues, not feeding issues. My brother was that kind of baby, and he was formula fed.

 For the mothers that have breastfed, have you had any issues like this?  

Never once. I went back to work at ten weeks. And I co-slept. Never ONE problem leaving. No sitter problems (and the sitter issues are not usually baby-=related, they're SITTER-related).

I love being close to my children and having that bond, but I want them to be social and not need me to the extent that they aren't open to all the other things that life has to offer.  

The products of attachment parenting are generally BETTER at those things than those who were raised in bottle feeding CIO families. Because they were given a great basis from the beginning.

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:34 PM

I agree with gdiamante, but also wanted to add that I am a full time teacher and my child still is attached to me when I am around, when NOT around he does fine with others!

JadeTigr7
by Crystal on Aug. 21, 2013 at 2:31 PM

There are no cons to breastfeeding, only pros.

Being attached is NORMAL and natural and should be that way whether you breastfeed or formula feed.

No, I haven't had issues with it because I believe it's normal to have your child in the room with you until they are ready to be alone, to breastfeed as long as they want, and my kids have all been watched some by babysitters.

Kids are MORE independent if you give them the dependence they need while they are infants/toddlers, although really there are just shy kids by personality.  I was formula fed and I'm shy, my oldest daughter was breastfed and she's shy.

 


~Crystal~

Homeschooling Mama to James, Jade, Steven, Willow and Katara
Wifey to Michael since 3-30-05

 

jjchick75
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 2:32 PM

I had the issues you are worried about with my oldest and she was formula fed. That has to do with baby's temperament NOT what they are fed. My other kids were all or are all breastfed and although one of my twins is high needs none of them are as high needs as my first was. But the bottomline is that will all pass. My daughter is a normal well round outgoing 17 year old now. It's not fun at the time but it's not the end fo the world and it will pass. I actually kind of miss those days where she wanted to do nothing but cuddle with me and when I was her whole world lol.

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