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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

He wants to wean, but I don't.

My plan was to wean DD when she turned 2. She will be 2 next Friday (Aug 30). DH still believes I'm going to have her weaned by then. She nurses 2, maybe 3 times a day. Sometimes not at all. It depends. Mostly it is at nap and bedtime. Sometimes when she wakes up. She asks for it. If I say no she some times fusses and sometimes will just accept the no.

When I do say yes she is super happy! She says "yes!" Or huffs all excitedly. It instantly calms her and she's able to go to sleep easily, even if she's sick, teething or cranky. I don't nurse her to sleep. I nurse her until she's drowsy then lay her in bed awake and she goes to sleep.

DH is adamant that she is too old and stayed okay with up to two because of the WHO recommendation. But now he says 2 is enough and I need to let this go she's not a baby anymore. He thinks I want to continue to try to keep her a baby because she's my last child.

How can I explain to him that she just needs it still sometimes? And that when she is done she will know it and so will I.

Or should I just give it up and force DD to wean?
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:36 PM
Replies (11-20):
Ptitchou
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:04 PM
6 moms liked this
With your viewpoint, you do not fully support breastfeeding. Shame.


Quoting mommy1990426:

No I have never breastfed that long to know, But after researching because I wondered why people do it, most research shows it's not necessary as far as nutrional benefits go. Maybe it's just a feeling close thing? But even then I think it's old. Breastfeeding a baby or even up to one, is very natural. If I lived in a deserted island or where there was no food for my child I might consider it.  but not just to do it. Apparently I am not the only one who fully supports breastfeeding that thinks that either. I think her husband has grounds to stand on here. Even when a child has allergies it is recommended for them to have breastmilk until 2, but after that is just too much.

As far as debate in this matter goes, obviously it's her kid, she can do what she wants, but 1, it doesn't look right, and 2. theres is really no point in it after researching the issue. I was just stating that I agree with her husband that 2 years old is too old.

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Do you know how hard it is to pump at this age? How many benefits are lost by not directly nursing?



Quoting mommy1990426:

I agree with your dh. 2 is old for bf. unless its put in a cup or something.






Baby_Avas_Momma
by Gold Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:16 PM
5 moms liked this
The WHO recommends *atleast* 2 years. I'd print out Kellymom.com's articles on the benefits of full-term nursing and child led weaning and hand it to him. Issues like these are a "not up for discussion" in my book. You both are clearly not ready to wean, hubby thinks you should because that's just what he thinks, sorry hubs, your argument isn't good enough. ;)
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Momsthename0609
by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:22 PM
2 moms liked this
I find it odd that the research you did shows no benefits but yet here in Canada Public Health recommends Nursing until 2 and even gives seminars and pamphlets out about it. If you talk to any doctor or nurse who is up to date on their information they will tell you it's best to nurse until 2 for brain development, and other benefits. Even the WHO recommends it.

Quoting mommy1990426:

No I have never breastfed that long to know, But after researching because I wondered why people do it, most research shows it's not necessary as far as nutrional benefits go. Maybe it's just a feeling close thing? But even then I think it's old. Breastfeeding a baby or even up to one, is very natural. If I lived in a deserted island or where there was no food for my child I might consider it.  but not just to do it. Apparently I am not the only one who fully supports breastfeeding that thinks that either. I think her husband has grounds to stand on here. Even when a child has allergies it is recommended for them to have breastmilk until 2, but after that is just too much.

As far as debate in this matter goes, obviously it's her kid, she can do what she wants, but 1, it doesn't look right, and 2. theres is really no point in it after researching the issue. I was just stating that I agree with her husband that 2 years old is too old.

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Do you know how hard it is to pump at this age? How many benefits are lost by not directly nursing?



Quoting mommy1990426:

I agree with your dh. 2 is old for bf. unless its put in a cup or something.





Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:25 PM
Let him know you both arent ready yet, that you can understand that out cultural norm is kids are weaned before toddlerhood, but there are still so many benefits, and you both arent ready yet!

1. Toddlers are picky eaters, allowing breastmilk helps gap what they may be missinf nutritionally

2. There is a bond created with nursing, and gives toddlers something reliable and secure they can depend on during a world of chaos and changes. It will help create a secure and independant person.

There are so many other benefits out there as well. Those two were at the top of my head.
Corina1987
by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:25 PM
I'm curious. What is lost from switching breastmilk directly from breast to cup instead?


Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Do you know how hard it is to pump at this age? How many benefits are lost by not directly nursing?



Quoting mommy1990426:

I agree with your dh. 2 is old for bf. unless its put in a cup or something.





Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:27 PM
Yep.....all the new and updated info shows that breastmilk.will not loose its nutritional value.


Quoting Momsthename0609:

I find it odd that the research you did shows no benefits but yet here in Canada Public Health recommends Nursing until 2 and even gives seminars and pamphlets out about it. If you talk to any doctor or nurse who is up to date on their information they will tell you it's best to nurse until 2 for brain development, and other benefits. Even the WHO recommends it.



Quoting mommy1990426:

No I have never breastfed that long to know, But after researching because I wondered why people do it, most research shows it's not necessary as far as nutrional benefits go. Maybe it's just a feeling close thing? But even then I think it's old. Breastfeeding a baby or even up to one, is very natural. If I lived in a deserted island or where there was no food for my child I might consider it.  but not just to do it. Apparently I am not the only one who fully supports breastfeeding that thinks that either. I think her husband has grounds to stand on here. Even when a child has allergies it is recommended for them to have breastmilk until 2, but after that is just too much.

As far as debate in this matter goes, obviously it's her kid, she can do what she wants, but 1, it doesn't look right, and 2. theres is really no point in it after researching the issue. I was just stating that I agree with her husband that 2 years old is too old.

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Do you know how hard it is to pump at this age? How many benefits are lost by not directly nursing?




Quoting mommy1990426:

I agree with your dh. 2 is old for bf. unless its put in a cup or something.







Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:28 PM
Same here. I am willing to listen to my dh's concerns, but ultimately its between baby and I when it comes to breastfeeding.


Quoting Baby_Avas_Momma:

The WHO recommends *atleast* 2 years. I'd print out Kellymom.com's articles on the benefits of full-term nursing and child led weaning and hand it to him. Issues like these are a "not up for discussion" in my book. You both are clearly not ready to wean, hubby thinks you should because that's just what he thinks, sorry hubs, your argument isn't good enough. ;)

Momsthename0609
by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:32 PM
I am lucky that I have a Dh that just goes with the flow when it comes to big decisions like this. He knows I do my research and most of the time I know what I am talking about. I think the only thing we argued about was vaccinations, I dont/didnt want to vaccinate, he does.

I would show him all of the research and hope he comes around. If not I still wouldn't wean. Unless he plans on dealing with her meltdowns because she wants to nurse. :D
HOTMOMMY2
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:33 PM

OMG!!!!! My DS will be 2 on September 1st and he still shows no sign of weaning.  He falls alseep nursing WIC said that it was ok and good for him.  He asks for his Bubbie every morning and if you say no be prepared for a melt down.  I can say no during the day he has a little fit but other than that will run off and play.  My DH hasn't said a thing about him weaning but I keep hoping beyond hope that he will wean soon because I've been done for a long time but I don't want to push him and damage him.

Corina1987
by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:36 PM
I can understand his point of view. Society already has a stigma on breastfeeding as if it becomes sexual when the child is older. I think I will switch to giving breast milk in a cup around 1 year old or 2. I'm guessing it won't be easy to wean him but he can't breastfeed forever even if he wanted to. My mom used to feed/dress me/etc even when I was in elementary school because I wanted it. Suddenly I realized I wanted my independence and I stopped. Im mad that I was never encouraged to be more independent and instead was encouraged to depend on my mother for everything. Good luck in your choice.
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