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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

He wants to wean, but I don't.

My plan was to wean DD when she turned 2. She will be 2 next Friday (Aug 30). DH still believes I'm going to have her weaned by then. She nurses 2, maybe 3 times a day. Sometimes not at all. It depends. Mostly it is at nap and bedtime. Sometimes when she wakes up. She asks for it. If I say no she some times fusses and sometimes will just accept the no.

When I do say yes she is super happy! She says "yes!" Or huffs all excitedly. It instantly calms her and she's able to go to sleep easily, even if she's sick, teething or cranky. I don't nurse her to sleep. I nurse her until she's drowsy then lay her in bed awake and she goes to sleep.

DH is adamant that she is too old and stayed okay with up to two because of the WHO recommendation. But now he says 2 is enough and I need to let this go she's not a baby anymore. He thinks I want to continue to try to keep her a baby because she's my last child.

How can I explain to him that she just needs it still sometimes? And that when she is done she will know it and so will I.

Or should I just give it up and force DD to wean?
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:36 PM
Replies (31-40):
Yogamom08
by Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:10 AM
You are nursing a five year old?! Wow! That is super impressive!

Quoting aehanrahan:

I can't believe she's almost TWO!!! : )

I think you know how I feel on this one since Johnathan still nurses 1-3 times a week when he's not at his dad's and he 5 years and 8 months. The blog that was posted above is amazing and has links to research to back you up. I agree with Gina's suggestion of asking him to show you research showing why you should wean now.

PolishMamma2
by Marta on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:21 AM

I wouldn't force her. And I don't want to sound rude to your hubby but frankly its not his buisness. Its soley up to you because its your boobs. There is a utube video of a woman nursing a 8 year old girl, show him that. And the fact is a child's immune system isn't fully developed until age 6. 

lillybug222
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this
What's the difference between a child the day before she turns two and the following day? Weeks? There is no magic switch.


Quoting mommy1990426:

No I have never breastfed that long to know, But after researching because I wondered why people do it, most research shows it's not necessary as far as nutrional benefits go. Maybe it's just a feeling close thing? But even then I think it's old. Breastfeeding a baby or even up to one, is very natural. If I lived in a deserted island or where there was no food for my child I might consider it.  but not just to do it. Apparently I am not the only one who fully supports breastfeeding that thinks that either. I think her husband has grounds to stand on here. Even when a child has allergies it is recommended for them to have breastmilk until 2, but after that is just too much.

As far as debate in this matter goes, obviously it's her kid, she can do what she wants, but 1, it doesn't look right, and 2. theres is really no point in it after researching the issue. I was just stating that I agree with her husband that 2 years old is too old.

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Do you know how hard it is to pump at this age? How many benefits are lost by not directly nursing?



Quoting mommy1990426:

I agree with your dh. 2 is old for bf. unless its put in a cup or something.






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on Aug. 26, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Thanks! It really isn't a big deal.

Quoting Yogamom08:

You are nursing a five year old?! Wow! That is super impressive!



Quoting aehanrahan:

I can't believe she's almost TWO!!! : )

I think you know how I feel on this one since Johnathan still nurses 1-3 times a week when he's not at his dad's and he 5 years and 8 months. The blog that was posted above is amazing and has links to research to back you up. I agree with Gina's suggestion of asking him to show you research showing why you should wean now.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on Aug. 26, 2013 at 4:15 PM
That is one of the reasons why I believe in full term nursing since the immune system is not fully mature until around the same time that the adult teeth start coming in and the milk teeth fall out.
Quoting MusherMaggie:

Quoting Corina1987:




Your body cannot respond to the baby's saliva and adjust the milk content or antibodies when it's pumped and given in a cup. There are big antibody surges that come at 18 months and beyond to protect the child as he becomes more mobile and is interacting with the outside world.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
turttlemom
by Nayelli on Aug. 26, 2013 at 4:28 PM

I took him on Saturday to take a shot, He will be 13mo tomorrow and at the visit he had little running nose, so pedi told me to keep doing strong with breastfeeding, but then start saying that she supports breastfeeding, and the weaning call is mom and baby's decision and such, but in the week the local university medicine school had a conference with local LLL leader, it was just for pedis and nurses, the leader was nursing her 4.5 years old DD during the conference. The point pedi told me is that in fact she support and encourage bfing, but she thought the DD could understand mommy was busy and wait until after the exposition.

I do think it is 4.5 is kind of old, but don't think 2 is too old, and probably OP's DD would be ready to wean soon.


Quoting mommy1990426:

No I have never breastfed that long to know, But after researching because I wondered why people do it, most research shows it's not necessary as far as nutrional benefits go. Maybe it's just a feeling close thing? But even then I think it's old. Breastfeeding a baby or even up to one, is very natural. If I lived in a deserted island or where there was no food for my child I might consider it.  but not just to do it. Apparently I am not the only one who fully supports breastfeeding that thinks that either. I think her husband has grounds to stand on here. Even when a child has allergies it is recommended for them to have breastmilk until 2, but after that is just too much.

As far as debate in this matter goes, obviously it's her kid, she can do what she wants, but 1, it doesn't look right, and 2. theres is really no point in it after researching the issue. I was just stating that I agree with her husband that 2 years old is too old.

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Do you know how hard it is to pump at this age? How many benefits are lost by not directly nursing?


Quoting mommy1990426:

I agree with your dh. 2 is old for bf. unless its put in a cup or something.






Corina1987
by Bronze Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Why? Even if you pump when the baby eats solids? I thought you can keep up your supply as long as you pump when the baby eats something else. My baby is still breastfeeding very often at almost 6 months and I get a lot of milk when I pump.


Quoting mostlymaydays:

It is difficult, if not impossible, to pump after the first year unless you are a pumping with extreme ferquency preceding that point. If you pick up a pump around a year, no joke, you'll be lucky to get a half ounce from both breasts. Even working moms who pump struggle with decreased pump response before the one year mark.

Quoting Corina1987:

I can understand his point of view. Society already has a stigma on breastfeeding as if it becomes sexual when the child is older. I think I will switch to giving breast milk in a cup around 1 year old or 2. I'm guessing it won't be easy to wean him but he can't breastfeed forever even if he wanted to. My mom used to feed/dress me/etc even when I was in elementary school because I wanted it. Suddenly I realized I wanted my independence and I stopped. Im mad that I was never encouraged to be more independent and instead was encouraged to depend on my mother for everything. Good luck in your choice.



mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Aug. 27, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Even hospital grade pumps are only about 40% as efficient as a baby at removing milk; So you have to pump 2-3 times to provide that same level of stimulation. Even moms who exclusively pump find it increasingly difficult to get the same amount as they get closer to a year; pump response normally declines. And if you decide at 9 months that you want to pump for work, our advice would be to try to pump an ounce today, and again tomorrow, and then an ounce two times the following day. Most women can't pick up a pump after six months and suddenly start filling bottles, even if she's really full from skipped feedings. It is just a completely foreign way of removing milk after exclusively breaatfeeding a baby. You have to "teach" your body to respond to a pump.

Quoting Corina1987:

Why? Even if you pump when the baby eats solids? I thought you can keep up your supply as long as you pump when the baby eats something else. My baby is still breastfeeding very often at almost 6 months and I get a lot of milk when I pump.




Quoting mostlymaydays:

It is difficult, if not impossible, to pump after the first year unless you are a pumping with extreme ferquency preceding that point. If you pick up a pump around a year, no joke, you'll be lucky to get a half ounce from both breasts. Even working moms who pump struggle with decreased pump response before the one year mark.

Quoting Corina1987:

I can understand his point of view. Society already has a stigma on breastfeeding as if it becomes sexual when the child is older. I think I will switch to giving breast milk in a cup around 1 year old or 2. I'm guessing it won't be easy to wean him but he can't breastfeed forever even if he wanted to. My mom used to feed/dress me/etc even when I was in elementary school because I wanted it. Suddenly I realized I wanted my independence and I stopped. Im mad that I was never encouraged to be more independent and instead was encouraged to depend on my mother for everything. Good luck in your choice.



mostlymaydays
by Group Mod-Stacy on Aug. 27, 2013 at 1:05 PM
But you'd be nursing before solids anyway. Solids don't ever replace a nursing session for a baby under a year old. Solids shouldn't be filling up the baby and making them skip nursing.

Quoting Corina1987:

Why? Even if you pump when the baby eats solids? I thought you can keep up your supply as long as you pump when the baby eats something else. My baby is still breastfeeding very often at almost 6 months and I get a lot of milk when I pump.




Quoting mostlymaydays:

It is difficult, if not impossible, to pump after the first year unless you are a pumping with extreme ferquency preceding that point. If you pick up a pump around a year, no joke, you'll be lucky to get a half ounce from both breasts. Even working moms who pump struggle with decreased pump response before the one year mark.

Quoting Corina1987:

I can understand his point of view. Society already has a stigma on breastfeeding as if it becomes sexual when the child is older. I think I will switch to giving breast milk in a cup around 1 year old or 2. I'm guessing it won't be easy to wean him but he can't breastfeed forever even if he wanted to. My mom used to feed/dress me/etc even when I was in elementary school because I wanted it. Suddenly I realized I wanted my independence and I stopped. Im mad that I was never encouraged to be more independent and instead was encouraged to depend on my mother for everything. Good luck in your choice.



Corina1987
by Bronze Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 1:06 PM
That's interesting. Thanx for the info


Quoting mostlymaydays:

Even hospital grade pumps are only about 40% as efficient as a baby at removing milk; So you have to pump 2-3 times to provide that same level of stimulation. Even moms who exclusively pump find it increasingly difficult to get the same amount as they get closer to a year; pump response normally declines. And if you decide at 9 months that you want to pump for work, our advice would be to try to pump an ounce today, and again tomorrow, and then an ounce two times the following day. Most women can't pick up a pump after six months and suddenly start filling bottles, even if she's really full from skipped feedings. It is just a completely foreign way of removing milk after exclusively breaatfeeding a baby. You have to "teach" your body to respond to a pump.



Quoting Corina1987:

Why? Even if you pump when the baby eats solids? I thought you can keep up your supply as long as you pump when the baby eats something else. My baby is still breastfeeding very often at almost 6 months and I get a lot of milk when I pump.






Quoting mostlymaydays:

It is difficult, if not impossible, to pump after the first year unless you are a pumping with extreme ferquency preceding that point. If you pick up a pump around a year, no joke, you'll be lucky to get a half ounce from both breasts. Even working moms who pump struggle with decreased pump response before the one year mark.

Quoting Corina1987:

I can understand his point of view. Society already has a stigma on breastfeeding as if it becomes sexual when the child is older. I think I will switch to giving breast milk in a cup around 1 year old or 2. I'm guessing it won't be easy to wean him but he can't breastfeed forever even if he wanted to. My mom used to feed/dress me/etc even when I was in elementary school because I wanted it. Suddenly I realized I wanted my independence and I stopped. Im mad that I was never encouraged to be more independent and instead was encouraged to depend on my mother for everything. Good luck in your choice.




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