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Husband wants him to wean at 1

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:49 PM
  • 14 Replies

I'm a bit stressed at the moment, my husband has been nothing but supportive in this breastfeeding journey- up until now. Our son is now 9 months old and my husband has started talking about weaning him.  He said that if it is going to take a few months "than you better start now". Uhhhh no? Our son needs his milk until AT LEAST 1. We had talked about it when I was pregnant and I said I wanted to nurse until our son was one. Well apparently my husband took that as "November 30th, 2013 is the last day because he hits one one Dec. 1".

I'm not sure where he has gotten such bad info, I think from his coworkers, but he keeps saying "so and so's wife started their kid on only cow's milk and food at 7 months and he was fine" etc. I point out and show him resources about needing breastmilk or formula until 1 year old and that the WHO reccommends until 2 years old. He just keeps saying that "it's weird" and "he's our son, we get to make the decision together". My husband is usually an intelligent man and does research on EVERYTHING under the sun. I'm not sure why he is being so obnoxious and uneducated about weaning.

This is more a vent, but if anyone has any ideas I'm open to anything. Regardless of his opinion, we will START gentle weaning when he is one and no sooner. Honestly, I wouldn't be opposed to a more child-led weaning, but I also don't want to battle my husband all the time.

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tabi_cat1023
by Group Admin -Tabitha on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:59 PM
Tell him yes it's a parenting decision but when one wants something unsafe and unhealthy their opinion doesn't count. Tell him to find info backing up his side you'll find yours and both discuss your sides. From there decisions can be made. This is about more than bfing. Later it could be all kinds of things from car seat safety to alcohol and drugs. If he makes parenting decisions based on what others do or what others think is weird it's worrisome
tabi_cat1023
by Group Admin -Tabitha on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:59 PM
Tell him yes it's a parenting decision but when one wants something unsafe and unhealthy their opinion doesn't count. Tell him to find info backing up his side you'll find yours and both discuss your sides. From there decisions can be made. This is about more than bfing. Later it could be all kinds of things from car seat safety to alcohol and drugs. If he makes parenting decisions based on what others do or what others think is weird it's worrisome
TiffanyMarie80
by Tiffany on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:01 PM
This

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Tell him yes it's a parenting decision but when one wants something unsafe and unhealthy their opinion doesn't count. Tell him to find info backing up his side you'll find yours and both discuss your sides. From there decisions can be made. This is about more than bfing. Later it could be all kinds of things from car seat safety to alcohol and drugs. If he makes parenting decisions based on what others do or what others think is weird it's worrisome
gdiamante
by Gina on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:03 PM


Quoting Smokeygirl:

I'm a bit stressed at the moment, my husband has been nothing but supportive in this breastfeeding journey- up until now. Our son is now 9 months old and my husband has started talking about weaning him.  He said that if it is going to take a few months "than you better start now". Uhhhh no? Our son needs his milk until AT LEAST 1. We had talked about it when I was pregnant and I said I wanted to nurse until our son was one. Well apparently my husband took that as "November 30th, 2013 is the last day because he hits one one Dec. 1".

And his scientific backing for this is what, precisely? If he cannot produce it, he gets ZERO say. And that holds true for EVERYTHING. Marriage lives in the "Show Me" state. If you state something, Show Me the proof of your statement!

I'm not sure where he has gotten such bad info, I think from his coworkers, but he keeps saying "so and so's wife started their kid on only cow's milk and food at 7 months and he was fine" etc. I point out and show him resources about needing breastmilk or formula until 1 year old and that the WHO reccommends until 2 years old. He just keeps saying that "it's weird" and "he's our son, we get to make the decision together". My husband is usually an intelligent man and does research on EVERYTHING under the sun. I'm not sure why he is being so obnoxious and uneducated about weaning.

This is more a vent, but if anyone has any ideas I'm open to anything. Regardless of his opinion, we will START gentle weaning when he is one and no sooner. Honestly, I wouldn't be opposed to a more child-led weaning, but I also don't want to battle my husband all the time.

He needs to provide proof. That simple. If he cannot provide proof, the battle is over and YOU have won. In the future, the converse will be true for something he really wants and you cannot provide evidence to refute, you know.

PinkButterfly66
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:14 PM

Tell him the last time you checked, they were your breasts so it's your decision.

melindabelcher
by mel on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:16 PM
My dh wanted our oldest daughter weaned at 1.
I went on to nurse her until 3.5yr. Shes now 3yr10mo and dh hatres that I won't let her nurse when she asks. I tell her no and joke that shes to old which dh immediately says no shes not if shes still asking. Talk about turning a complete 180°!!! I stuck to my guns as respectively as possible. It's never between weird to either of us babies don't just suddenly grow up overnight it's slow and progressive.
destiny3513
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:05 PM
My bf and I had this convo the other day. I told him he NEEDS it til one BUT its still good for him longer. He thinks after one I should pump BUT unless he wants to wash a million bottles and the pump eight times a day then that ain't happening. Lol.
polkaspots
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:13 PM
Let him know that starting the weaning process before the baby turns one means using formula. And then tell him to go away unless he starts lactating. We haven't weaned yet, and my husband knows I won't force it. He needs his milk. Let your husband know how miserable that baby is going to be if you have him and say no. My husband gets mad at me when I won't nurse him at night because its so much harder for him to get the kid back to sleep.
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gdiamante
by Gina on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:40 PM

You can also let him know that weanign started with the first bite of solids.

My husband also thought "wean at one." I simply did my thing. And he NEVER NOTICED. Because at one they nruse a lot less and it's easy to get lots of nursings in with Dad being clueless. **grin** I didn't try to hide. He simply didn't notice!

Smokeygirl
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:03 PM
Thanks everyone. I'm sure it will become a non issue as we go on. Either way, I'm not giving formula after 9 months avoiding it!!! We worked hard to get here and are in the home stretch of the minimum. As my husband is out of the house from 7 am until 6:30 pm most nights, I'm sure he won't notice either. I will probably implement the "don't offer, don't refuse" method and see how it goes from there.
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