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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

feel like I'm failing my baby girl :(

Posted by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 8:30 PM
  • 10 Replies
This is my 4th baby, but my first that I truly want to bf. I just had no desire with my other 3. Baby girl is 4days old and from the get go had problems latching, the lactation consultant found out its because she will close her mouth too soon but said it would take time. Yesterday my milk started coming in and I was very engorged my areolas were so engorged that the baby could not stay latched on for more than 4-5min. So after hours of her latching on for 4-5min alternating breast and baby girl screaming from hunger. I had to give her formula. I don't know what to do. I keep trying to latch her before each feeding and will alternate breast every 5min or less, pretty much until she unlatched herself. I do that until she is really upset then give her a bottle. But idk what to do! How do I get the engorgement down and my areolas not so swollen?
by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 8:30 PM
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polkaspots
by Gold Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 8:37 PM
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Stop switching back and forth. Put her on a boob and leave her there until she comes off on her own, burp, switch, repeat. You have an oversupply which is normal since your milk just came in. Ditch the bottles and just nurse.
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nickname-mommy
by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM

you can pump a little so yer not so full. or if you don't have a pump go take a nice warm shower and manually express some . i had the same problem at that same time

angelbutterfly2
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 8:52 PM
That's what I meant. She will unlatch on her own after about 4-5min.


Quoting polkaspots:

Stop switching back and forth. Put her on a boob and leave her there until she comes off on her own, burp, switch, repeat. You have an oversupply which is normal since your milk just came in. Ditch the bottles and just nurse.

Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Oct. 2, 2013 at 9:02 PM
3 moms liked this

hugs mama! Breastfeeding in the beginning can be hard sometimes.

Dont' give into formula. If you need to, pump a little and let her suck your finger and give some milk through a syringe until you are both calmed down for a bit and then retry. My babies were always held for the first few weeks. when they would stir, lick lips, search I would always offer to nurse. What I did sometimes is just have baby near my breast and let her lick around and search and she would actuallt latch herself. Sometimes we try too hard to get them to latch, but they if you let them just do it themselves it can work. You can express a little milk too to encourage this. if they fuss a little its ok, dont' freak out. Now, if they are screaming you may want to go to plan b (Ithe sucking finger with the syringe) for just a minute to try again.

To get your engorgment down you can express just enough milk (hand express or pump), but DO NOT try to empty your breast because it encourages you to make more milk. Reclined nursing or laying down while nursing helps with overactive letdown.  Hang in there!

(PS, did the LC help you find a solution or just tell you the problem. If they arent being helpful you may want to find a different LC, IBCLC is best)

polkaspots
by Gold Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 9:56 PM
Do your breasts still feel full after this's first few minutes of nursing? If so you should it her back on the same breast when she unlatches.


Quoting angelbutterfly2:

That's what I meant. She will unlatch on her own after about 4-5min.




Quoting polkaspots:

Stop switching back and forth. Put her on a boob and leave her there until she comes off on her own, burp, switch, repeat. You have an oversupply which is normal since your milk just came in. Ditch the bottles and just nurse.


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gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 2, 2013 at 11:34 PM
2 moms liked this

Not failing AT ALL. If you intentionally murdered her, THEN it would be a failure. But she's gotten ONE DROP... you're a success already!

Quoting angelbutterfly2:

This is my 4th baby, but my first that I truly want to bf. I just had no desire with my other 3. Baby girl is 4days old and from the get go had problems latching, the lactation consultant found out its because she will close her mouth too soon but said it would take time.
Yep. The unlatch/relatch dance will be your exercise for a while. It's OK.
Yesterday my milk started coming in and I was very engorged my areolas were so engorged that the baby could not stay latched on for more than 4-5min.
Sounds normal. Express a little before latching but 4-5 minutes is pretty darned good.
So after hours of her latching on for 4-5min alternating breast
Don't alternate. Relatch to the same breast. You've got engorgement going and we'll control it a bit. One breast for a feeding. Switch on the next. 
and baby girl screaming from hunger. I had to give her formula.
No more of that. **smile** She wasn't that hungry if she could scream. The hungry ones conserve energy. MORE likley she's upset because she's getting overwhelmed by all the milk. That's OK.
I don't know what to do. I keep trying to latch her before each feeding and will alternate breast every 5min or less, pretty much until she unlatched herself. I do that until she is really upset then give her a bottle. But idk what to do! How do I get the engorgement down and my areolas not so swollen?

Every time you give a bottle you're resetting the clock on the engorgement. So no more of that. Put them where you cannot reach. One breast for two feeds, next breast for two feeds. No switching in the middle. Relatch to the same breast. 

soberorose81
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Won't repeat the comments already made. Work day....you go mama! Keep at it, listen and trust this good information and support! You are doing a wonderfully great job getting your baby, just takes a little time and adjustment. :mama to mama hugs:
angelbutterfly2
by Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 3:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you for all the advice. She is now breast feeding like a champ!
karebear48461
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:15 PM

Take a deep breath! What I did during that time was hand express a little before attempting to latch and I also pumped (but my baby was also in the special care unit for 48 hours). Do not switch back and forth. Let the baby come off on her own. My baby is 7 weeks old and I still nurse on one breast for one feeding and start on the alternate the next time. His pedi told me that he gets his nutrition during the first 7-8 minutes, so not to freak as long as he's producing enough wet diapers. 

JRSMOM0621
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:05 PM

 I was told by many including a LC to just let them go on the one breast until they signal they are done. :/ sorry I'm not much help. I had a similar problem with my son and gave up. I feel horrible that I am going to BF this baby and never did with my son. Make sure that if you want to stop it isnt because you are frustrated.. Keep trying dont give up :)

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