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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

I feel guilty.. :-(

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:20 PM
  • 32 Replies

Okay, so.....I can easily say that PHYSICALLY, BF in the first 3 months is the hardest. EMOTIONALLY, its bad after 6 months. I feel guilty because Im feeling more and more like I want to be done with BF'ing. My oldest son was such a good teether. Nathan, (my nursling) is a HORRID teether. He is angry and upset ALL THE TIME. He doesnt want to be held, put down, put in the jumper, etc.... he's just pissed all the time. Ive tried everything to make him feel better. He's hardly taking naps and its been that way for the last two months and just gets worse and worse and he's waking up SO MUCH at night. Last night, I got 2 hours of sleep. DH is working so so so much and just started a project working nights so Im on my own daily and nightly. I live abroad and all my family are in the US. Im getting no help and just feel like I want to be done with it. I want to stick a bottle in his mouth and be done with it. Im getting more and more nursing aversions. If Nathan is sleeping in my bed at the breast I get NO sleep. I CANNOT sleep with him in my bed, but it seems to be the only place he will sleep. Any words of comfort would be greatly appreciated. Tell me Im doing whats best for my LO. My oldest boy was only BF for a month. It seemed so much easier to deal with him. 


PS. It takes about 2 months for a tooth to poke through for him. THis happened when his bottom ones came through too. TERRIBLE teething and sleeping and then one bottom tooth came through, then the other 5 days later. Then there was a little break. Now its the top ones...he'll be 7 months on Thursday. Uggg...

by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
stepconfused182
by Kelley on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:26 PM

I feel your pain. I really don't think a day went by that I didn't want to quit. I just didn't enjoy it at all. But I kept on keeping on and didn't stop until my dd self weaned. You are doing what's best for your son and you will be so glad when it's all over and you stuck with it. I did bedshare with my daughter for the entire first year though and was able to get 5-6 hours of sleep each night so that helped. I think that a lot of your son's "issues" are just his personality and have no relation to the fact that you're breastfeeding. He would be the same baby if you weaned and switched to formula. 

gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Let's start here. Have you murdered someone or something?

No?

Then NO GUILT ALLOWED.

Quoting amc103:

Okay, so.....I can easily say that PHYSICALLY, BF in the first 3 months is the hardest. EMOTIONALLY, its bad after 6 months. I feel guilty because Im feeling more and more like I want to be done with BF'ing.

That's such a NORMAL feeling! Hell, I was ready to be done from the start. I have never been able to understand the moms who get such good warm fuzzy feelings from breastfeeding. To me, it was another thing that needed to be done, nothing more.

And I will not feel guilty about it.

My oldest son was such a good teether. Nathan, (my nursling) is a HORRID teether. He is angry and upset ALL THE TIME. He doesnt want to be held, put down, put in the jumper, etc.... he's just pissed all the time. Ive tried everything to make him feel better. He's hardly taking naps and its been that way for the last two months and just gets worse and worse and he's waking up SO MUCH at night. Last night, I got 2 hours of sleep. DH is working so so so much and just started a project working nights so Im on my own daily and nightly. I live abroad and all my family are in the US. Im getting no help and just feel like I want to be done with it. I want to stick a bottle in his mouth and be done with it.

While they say never make a decision when you're upset... you also need to know it doesn't have to be all or nothing. If givcing him a bottle right now will help you then by all means DO IT.

There's only ONE all or nothing. Life and death. You can't be "a little bit dead;" you're dead all the way or you're alive.

Im getting more and more nursing aversions. If Nathan is sleeping in my bed at the breast I get NO sleep. I CANNOT sleep with him in my bed, but it seems to be the only place he will sleep. Any words of comfort would be greatly appreciated. Tell me Im doing whats best for my LO. My oldest boy was only BF for a month. It seemed so much easier to deal with him. 

PS. It takes about 2 months for a tooth to poke through for him. THis happened when his bottom ones came through too. TERRIBLE teething and sleeping and then one bottom tooth came through, then the other 5 days later. Then there was a little break. Now its the top ones...he'll be 7 months on Thursday. Uggg...

If a bottle will get you through this rough spot then USE it. There are no medals for avoiding it. THAT SAID: I agree with stepconfused. Baby will still be the same no matter what. So you and hubby need to have a long sincere talk about him getting you help or cutting his hours.

I will suggest one other thing: Take a pregnancy test.

JamieBue38
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:46 PM
Do you give him solids? It might make him feel more full and sleep better on his own.
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:47 PM

Our observation in this group is that solids make them wake MORE, not less. We did a survey on it a couple of years ago and the "wake more" side won by a landslide.

Quoting JamieBue38:

Do you give him solids? It might make him feel more full and sleep better on his own.


JamieBue38
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:48 PM
Ive never heard of that. Each infant is different and maybe she could try if she results to it.


Quoting gdiamante:

Our observation in this group is that solids make them wake MORE, not less. We did a survey on it a couple of years ago and the "wake more" side won by a landslide.

Quoting JamieBue38:

Do you give him solids? It might make him feel more full and sleep better on his own.



gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:51 PM

Agreed.

Quoting JamieBue38:

Ive never heard of that. Each infant is different and maybe she could try if she results to it.


Quoting gdiamante:

Our observation in this group is that solids make them wake MORE, not less. We did a survey on it a couple of years ago and the "wake more" side won by a landslide.

Quoting JamieBue38:

Do you give him solids? It might make him feel more full and sleep better on his own.




jjchick75
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Nothing to feel guilty about. I would love for mine to wean but they aren't ready. I don't care for breastfeeding. I don't even like my husband to touch my breasts. I just view it as something this has to be done like it or not. Sounds like you have a high needs baby. I had two of them and the first one was formula fed. Just remember it won't be like this forever! 

aehanrahan
by Group Mod - Amy on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this
What are you doing for the teething pain? Do you have access to teething tablets or something similar there? Will he gnaw on something cold? Rubbing raw sweet onion on the gums is supposed to help with the pain and help the teeth break through easier.
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Mom2Just1
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:52 PM

My second is high needs.  Breastfeeding has nothing to do with that.  My first was an awesome baby and breastfed.  It's just his personality.  Good luck!  Trying a teething necklace for teething. We use one and love it!

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BellaBlue92
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:57 PM
2 moms liked this
This, get a teething necklace! They have really cute ones on Etsy and itsybitsybums.com :)


Quoting Mom2Just1:

My second is high needs.  Breastfeeding has nothing to do with that.  My first was an awesome baby and breastfed.  It's just his personality.  Good luck!  Trying a teething necklace for teething. We use one and love it!


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